Drink A Beer
Summary: You and Josh mourn the loss of a friend. Pairing: Josh x Reader (more platonic than romance) Word Count: Warnings: Death, angst Request: Josh angst? take the request in the way you want but i LOVE angst - @svintsandghosts This sort of turned into more of a comfort fic, but I hope you can still enjoy it!
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At your age, losing a friend was never expected — especially not a friend you had grown up with. Wesley was always the life of the party, the guy who was friends with everyone. He was like a brother to you, and had been part of your inner circle of friends, even after you moved a couple of towns over.
The car wreck was truly a fluke accident. The other driver’s brakes quit out, and they t-boned Wesley’s car in the intersection. Had it not been for the speed of the accident, you likely wouldn’t have been attending your friend’s funeral that morning.
There was already a crowd when you arrived at the funeral home. You pulled your cardigan tighter over your modest black dress and looked around for a familiar face. You recognized a lot of people from school, but none of them were friends you wanted to sit with for the whole funeral.
“Hey, you.”
Your eyes grew wide when you saw you had nudged you with his elbow. “Josh! I didn’t think you were gonna be able to make it.”
He pulled you into a tight hug. “I wasn’t going to miss this. We postponed a show, it’s no big deal. I’m glad I found you. I didn’t see anyone else from our group.”
“Me neither,” you frowned.
“Shall we?” Josh asked, offering his elbow.
You gave him a sad but grateful smile, tucked your hand into the crook of his arm, and followed him through the people grouped in the lobby. Some of them greeted you both, stopping for handshakes with Josh and hugs with you.
Finally, you made it the room where the service would take place. The first few rows were empty, reserved for Wesley’s family. Behind them were the rest of the friends you and Josh had looked for in the lobby but hadn’t seen.
They stood and greeted the both of you with condolences. You ended up on the end of the row, with Josh next to you. A few minutes later, the service started.
You managed to keep yourself composed until Wes’s dad got up to give the eulogy. As hard as you tried to keep yourself together, you were shattered to pieces. You couldn’t imagine losing your own sibling hurting anymore than it hurt to lose Wes.
Through your sniffles and muffled sobs, you felt someone’s hand slip into yours. You looked beside you to see Josh maneuvering one arm behind you while he held your other hand tight. You leaned against his shoulder and tried to keep yourself under control.
As the service wrapped up, Josh let you go to join the other pallbearers in carrying out Wesley’s casket. You walked by yourself to the plot, but Josh joined you again as soon as he was able. He took your hand and handed you a tissue from his pocket.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
Josh’s reply was a reassuring squeeze to your hand. He watched the final words said over Wesley’s grave, then waited in line with you to throw a handful of dirt down into the grave before escorting you to your car.
“You going to the lake house?”
You nodded. “Yeah, at least for a while. I told Abby I would go.”
“Me too. How about I come pick you up?”
“Thank you, that would be nice. I’ll be at my parents, if you remember where that is?”
Josh chuckled. “Yeah, I remember. See you in a couple of hours, Y/N.”
“Bye, Josh.”
* * * * *
After filling your parents in on the service, you went upstairs to change for the lake house and take a power nap. You were still trying to wrap your mind around the fact that Wesley was gone, and it was going to take some extra energy to get through a social event without just being the depressed friend in the corner.
When Josh arrived, you yelled to your parents that you were heading out, shouldered your bag, and met Josh in the driveway. He opened the passenger side door for you, then went back around to the driver’s side.
“I’m pretty sure I remember how to get to the lake house, but it’s been a while,” Josh commented. “You might have to help me remember.”
“Between the two of us, we should be able to get there in no time.”
The ride was filled with you catching Josh up on the most recent changes in your life, and him telling you a story or two about life on the road. Catching up with Josh didn’t completely heal your hurt over losing Wesley, but it smoothed out the edges a little.
The lake house was full of people. You recognized almost everyone from high school, if not grade levels before then, though a good number of them hadn’t even attended Wesley’s funeral. That stabbed at your heart and made you want to yell and scream at them. They were here for a good time when you were trying to make sense of what had happened. It seemed unfair and selfish.
You mingled for as long as you could summon up the courage and composure, then wandered out to the lake. You kicked your shoes off at the end of the pier and dipped your toes in, testing the water. Fortunately, it wasn’t too cold, so you kicked your feet back and forth as you watched the sunset behind the hills that surrounded the lake.
“Thought maybe you abandoned me here.”
You looked up to Josh with as much of a smile you could manage. “Nah. Just needed to get out in the quiet for a little bit.”
He handed you a bottle of beer, kicked off his shoes, then dropped down to the pier next to you. He tested the water first, just as you had, then clinked his own beer bottle with yours.
“To Wes,” he stated.
“To Wes,” you echoed, taking a good gulp of your beer. “Thanks for being the person I could lean on for this, Josh. Maybe I’m taking it all too seriously, but Wes … he was here, and then he wasn’t. He was always around when I came to visit my parents, and now he won’t be. Guess I don’t really know how to process that.”
In an attempt to stop another bout of sobbing, you chugged down a good portion of your beer. The bitter aftertaste gave you something else to focus on besides the sadness and confusion you felt.
Josh looked down at the beer in his lap then looked at you. “Why don’t you come on the road with us for a show or two? Or longer. Just get away for a while. Have a distraction while you make sense of things.”
You shook your head. “I don’t wanna be in the way. You need to concentrate on your work, your music.”
“You have no idea how many extra people are around,” Josh chuckled, “so one more isn’t going to hurt anything. Besides, it’ll be fun to have you around.”
You pursed your lips together and watched the hills in the distance while you thought about it. You finished off your beer and took a deep breath.
“Okay. I’ll go.”
Josh smiled. “Good.”
You nodded. “Yeah, I think it’s gonna be.”
Josh reached out for your hand. He laced his fingers through yours and worked on finishing his own beer. You leaned against his side. The two of you finished watched the sunset together, then sat outside for a while after it was dark.
Being there with Josh, knowing that you had more time together ahead, it gave you a bright spot in the middle of all that sadness. Josh gave you something that made sense — something you could look forward to in the days ahead.
