Confessions
Some Josh x Reader fluff ❤️
You sighed, taking a swig of your drink. He looked stunning as always, the warm lights illuminating his skin and making his teeth glint. All you wanted at this moment was to wrap your arms around him. Someone knocked into you from behind, pulling you out from your daydreamsmaking you spill half the contents of your glass onto your shirt. You swore, pushed yourself away from the table and headed for the bathroom. This was bound to be a bad night, you knew it the moment the guys invited you to their party. Dabbing at the stain, you caught your reflection in the mirror- small eyes, big pores, and many other things you wished you could change. A small sob escaped your lips- “Stop the pity party. This is NOT the time. Save it for bed”- you told yourself, chucking the wadded up ball of toilet paper in the trash can. As you walked into the hall you felt yourself colliding with someone- of course it was him. You put on the best fake smile you could muster –“My bad” “It’s alright darling”- he smiled,-“Hey are you ok?” – he pulled you aside, brows furrowing. “Yes! Totally. My shirt.. just got kinda ruined. That’s all”-you chuckled, starting to pull away. His grip on your elbow loosened and he nodded, already occupied with something in the distance, “ok, see you around”- he rubbed your shoulder. You nodded, swallowing. God, you needed a drink after him touching you. It left you feeling of fire and craving. Maybe if you never met him in the first place you wouldn’t be feeling this.. whatever feeling this was. Seeing him laughing ,smiling and being totally oblivious to your feelings made you want to cry. You knew you were so far out of his league- he was intelligent, kind and ridiculously talented and good looking. And you? Definitely not his type. You made your way to the kitchen, pouring yourself some rum and coke and settled on a green armchair in the corner of the room. Jake was standing at the other end with his girlfriend, he waved, making eye contact with you. Returning the gesture you took a swig of your drink and leaned back. You mulled over the possibilities- if you did tell him how you feel… and he would be interested… no, nope, he would never be interested in you. But what if? You groaned internally -Why were you torturing yourself like this? Why couldn’t you just ask him? What’s the worst that could happen if he’d say no? Oh, right- you’d just not live it down? The only reason you came to this stupid party was to see him. And hopefully get a shot of courage and tell him how you feel. Before you could contemplate your next move, a pair of warm hands landed on your shoulders- “Jesus, Danny, what the hell?”- you whacked his arm as he gave you a small hug. “What are you doing here all alone?” “Just sitting. Having a drink. But you’re here now! What’s new!”- you tried to change the subject and made room for him on the armchair. Instead he picked you up and sat you down on his knees, making you chuckle. “Everything ok? You looked kinda sad, sitting here all alone” “I’m just… chilling” “All alone? Drink in hand?”- he smiled down at you. The height difference between you and Danny was always obvious. “Yep. Avoiding certain people” “Mhm. And who might that be exactly?” You picked at the hem of your shirt. “Hm? Do I know him?”- he prodded. “Yeah. Very well actually” “How well?” “Danny. Cmon. Don’t”. “And might that reason for avoiding that person be because of certain feelings?”He laughed. You nodded, playing with the rings on your fingers. “Just tell him. Whoever he is. But if he hurts you.. he’ll have to deal with me”- he rubbed your shoulders, making you smile. “I don’t have the guts to tell him. He’s just.. I’m definitely not his type”- you scoffed. “That’s crap. Who wouldn’t want to be with you ? Look at yourself: great sense of humor, intelligent, kind and gorgeous ”. You felt your cheeks get red. “I’m serious. Quit putting yourself down like that. But if we’re 40 and still not married… you know who to call ,right?”- he laughed getting up. You giggled, slapping his arm. “Definitely, Danny”.
“Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”- suddenly Josh appeared, making you jump.
“Here I am”. This is it. Just do it. Come on.
“Uh, Josh. Can we talk?”
He locked his phone, slipping it in his back pocket.
“Sure. What’s up?”
“Can we go someplace quiet?”
“Yeah, yeah”- he seemed concerned, his eyes glued to you now, trying to pick up anything out of the ordinary. He led you through the sea of people, holding your hand tight.
Stepping into the darkness of his room, your eyes scanned the movie posters on the walls, the old desk and dresser with Spider Man stickers still on it. You walked over to his bookshelf, moving your fingers over the spines of books you knew so well, since he lent them all to you at throughout the years you’ve known him.
“Remember how I used to read Emily Dickinson’s poetry to you in 10th grade? You’d come after school and I’d read it out loud to you ?”- he chuckled.
“Mm. I still love listening to your voice.”
“ Not much has changed then, has it?”
“It has”- you said quietly, more to yourself than to him.
“What?”
“Nothing, Josh”.
“What did you want to talk about?”- he sat down on his bed, patting the space next to him. You swallowed, instead walking up to the window that you’ve looked out of so often.
Your throat was dry.
“Uh. We need to talk. About something important”.
“Mhm. I figured. Everything ok?”- he chuckled softly.
“No. No it’s not”- you let out a shaky breath, raking your fingers through your hair.
“You’re scaring me. What’s up?”- he walked up to you, gently taking your hands away from your head.
“ I… this is crazy. Well not really, because you’re you and anyone would want ”-
“Calm down. Just tell me. Whatever it is…I’m here for you”- he took your face in his hands and caressed your cheeks with his thumbs. You felt dizzy and hot at the same time. This was it. The moment you could lose him forever.
“ I love you Josh. I have for a while.”- you breathed out. He blinked at you, taking in your confession. Definitely not expecting it.
“O…Kay. Okay. Wow. I-“- his hands slipped from your face.
“I just felt you should know. I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. I’m so sorry”- you sat down on his bed, burying your face in your hands.
You fucked this up. That’s it. He’d never talk to you again. You knew this was a bad idea. You’d have to avoid each other at parties, at school. This was a disaster.
“God, Y/N. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I’ve been going crazy thinking you’d never think of me that way. Seven years. Seven years I keep thinking of us”.
It was your turn to be surprised. You froze.
“I’m sorry, what??”- he turned his body towards yours and took your hands in his, kissing your knuckles gently.
“You.. thought of me?”
“Yes. You’re..everything I wanted. You’re so beautiful and smart”- he smiled, cupping your face. Instinctively, you nuzzled your face into his warm touch. Without a thought you pressed your lips to his, eliciting a moan of surprise from him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and shifted closer.
Suddenly, the door flung open and Danny appeared, face shocked but after a moment he grinned, giving you a thumbs up and shutting the door. Josh rested his head on your shoulder, sighing.
“How about we lock the door this time?”- you chuckled.