▲ five time my muse thought about kissing yours, and the one time they did
THE FIRST TIME TEDDY THINKS THEY MIGHT KISS ZACH it’s outside Pillow Café and Teddy’s sipping on iced coffee like it’s the only thing keeping them alive and Zach’s got whatever convoluted, sugared up mess of a drink he has. They’re leaned up against the outside window and Teddy knows Zach is standing way closer than usual, does he even realize what he’s doing to them? Probably not, he can’t like Teddy like that after all. But he’s still so close, if Teddy stood up just a little straighter and leaned just a tiny bit forward they could kiss him. And they find themself unable to control their movements briefly but they start drinking their coffee again to stop it. They couldn’t kiss Zach! He was Zach.
THE SECOND TIME IT’S RAINING AND HE’S SO CLOSE but that’s exactly why it doesn’t happen. Teddy’s not letting their first kiss with Zach be so cliché. It’s pouring which is extremely uncommon for California, so Teddy chalks it up to some out of control meta that C.A.R.M.A. hasn’t found yet. Zach’s got his arms around Teddy and they’re huddled against him and they feel a little gross because everything is sticking to their body. All their clothes, their backpack, their binder, everything feels awful. But with Zach’s arms around them, they feel safe somehow. They don’t even hate water, they love it, but everything about this random rainstorm was just uncomfortable and unexpected and unwanted. Except how close Zach is to Teddy and how warm he feels despite the cold November rain.
THE THIRD TIME IT ALMOST HAPPENS BECAUSE THEY’RE cuddled close in Teddy’s bed, his arm around their small body, and they’re resting their head on Zach’s shoulder. They’re pretending to watch the movie playing on the TV but actually, their focus is on Zach and his breathing and his lips... Teddy didn’t even realize they were holding their breath until Zach asked if they were okay because they had stopped breathing. They just nodded and pressed closer to him. Their cheeks felt hot and they felt so embarrassed that Zach had caught them staring like that. Or had he even noticed? They weren’t sure... But their gaze drifted back to where it was before and they could’ve sworn they were about to do it but something stopped them, something saying it wasn’t the right time.
THE FOURTH TIME, ZACH IS JUST TOO CLOSE AND HE’S not really helping with the whole ‘I don’t like Zach Acosta’ thing. They’re just eighteen and yes, they should probably be obsessed with the idea of a relationship and kissing but they were more obsessed with the idea of surviving and not being killed by their gang for being disloyal. But they were at Zach’s apartment and they had been sprawled out across his bed while they quizzed him on the different pieces of vocab for one of his crazy intense astrophysics classes. He was about to go into finals and Teddy didn’t like being away from him because they had grown attached and way too comfortable being practically glued to his side. As they said he got another phrase correct, they found themself almost touching noses with him and the could feel their heart beating in their throat. “Maybe we should take a break...”
THE FIFTH TIME TEDDY’S REALLY WONDERING IF THE UNIVERSE is purposefully testing their patience. They’re at a party and Teddy doesn’t know why they’re at a party but that’s where they’ve ended up. But then they remembered that Zach was dragged along by one of his classmates and Teddy didn’t want him to be uncomfortable so they said they were going with. The party wasn’t... Too bad. It was nice house, there were Christmas lights hung up all over the place and other college kids in 90′s gear and early 2000′s clothes not much unlike Teddy. They fit in at least, which was nice. And they were sure they dealt to some of these kids. But they didn’t care about them, they cared about how they had accidentally gotten knocked right into Zach’s arms by one of these people, without an apology, and all they could think about was how soft Zach’s features were in this lighting and how stupidly kissable he looked. They had never had a thought like that in their fucking life and yet here they were, pressed up against the guy they liked and all they could do was stare, at least all he could do was stare back...
THE SIXTH TIME, THEY CAN’T HELP THEMSELF ANYMORE and they decide that the worst that could happen is that Zach just gets really confused and runs away. But he’s standing there outside the diner, just... Looking like he does, with his dumb attractive face and his dumb clothes that look dumbly good on him. It’s three in the fucking morning and they both wanted milkshakes and cheesy fries, that’s why they had agreed to meet up at the diner in the first place. Zach was standing outside the diner and he was being lit up by the neons and fluorescents spilling through the diner windows. Teddy’s impulses and the lack of sleep had gotten the better of them. They got to Zach and their arms were around his neck and before he could even say anything they were kissing, Teddy was actually kissing Zach and he was kissing them back and they were both nervous and it was obvious but it was happening, it was something Teddy had dreamed about for months and now... It was finally happening. They pulled away and they were grinning widely at him, “okay,” they were a little bit out of breath, “does your stomach hurt?”
