#josiahmatthews

[jomatthews-blog]

If stars were kind enough

If stars were kind enough to guide me home I'd frown and pout and turn the other way around. They would fail to understand there's another road that my heart wants. And they'd yell, "Fool! You've been a fool once, you'll be a fool twice," but the echo in my heart shall grow louder.

If stars were kind enough to guide me home I'd frown and pout and turn the other way around towards yours.

[jomatthews-blog]

Almost.

Would you still wonder even if you can't or simply don't see my face anymore whenever you close your eyes... Will you still wonder about me on those late nights when you can't sleep?

[jomatthews-blog]

My sister says I don't give her hope

She broke up recently with her girlfriend and now she feels blue. And I'm always remembering my ex, whether we are driving and we go by a place that reminds me of him or I listen to a song... I always manage to bring him up and I tell my sister how happy I used to be. And that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. And she just looks at me, as if saying what is really obvious: that it's been three years and that I should let it go. But I refuse to do it. I gotta cherish the memories... Because that's all that's left. It's hard to let go when all the songs you once heard to now have another meaning; now you listen to them, and sing them with your heart.

[jomatthews-blog]

Birthday, 2013

So today, I turned 20. And a lot of things have happened in the last few days.

My grandmother died yesterday. So, today we had to bury her. I loved her very much. And it hurts me because she is now gone. I look back and think of all the times I was with her and that I didn't treat her well. How shitty of a grandson I was. I just really hope there is a heaven, and that she is there. Because she deserves every bit of that place.

So, it was mostly a very sad day. Some of my friends took me to eat in the morning and I even got a few presents. One, which is by far the most special one, was a bag with two-shirts with the L ) V E and Angels and Airwaves logo on them. White and Black t-shirts. And it was a gift from this guy who is just so special to me. I mean, I love AVA!

He really made of this day something special.

Last, I would like to think my ex remembers that today is my birthday. But since he doesn't have any way of comunicating with me (except, perhaps my phone number, but I'm not really sure he has it), I'm sure I won't be getting any congratulations from him.

But I do hope he remembers it. Just like the way I remember his.

[jomatthews-blog]

You should have my scarf

You are my rainy day clouding my mind and every time I say - remember that it's long gone; all those midnights of confession all those promises never being honest. All the love I truly felt - I remember it all too well.

[jomatthews-blog]

Right now I feel numb. It's one of those nights. I don't feel anything. I feel empty.

I feel like dancing. Or singing. But I'm terrible at both,

I feel like running. Or screaming. Or lying on the cold-hard floor.

I feel like crying, because I'm hurting and it won't really stop.

I should be sleeping and not be thinking - perhaps, never waking up.

[jomatthews-blog]

Like a pill

My darkest fears they surround me as I'm running ill - sick of everything of you - as if you have something to do as if you're the one to blame - oh wait.

[jomatthews-blog]

I had nothing to wear

Today, I was nowhere near my brighter day And fate kept testing what's left of my strength And at some point today I had nothing -  not a single thing to wear So I put on a big smile and wore happiness for a while.