Baby It’s Cold Outside: I Really Can’t Stay (Part 4.5 to Questionable Intentions)
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Warnings: Nothing
A/N: As promised, here is the Loki half of Baby It’s Cold Outside. I had a great time writing this story and can’t wait to see what you guys think.
(I had to use this gif, I love his hair!)
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Loki sat in the black leather armchair, his feet up on the oak coffee table, and one of his ever present novels in hand. Thor stalked by him, pushing his feet off the table before plopping down in the throne-like chair across from his brother. He gazed at him for a moment, the look in his eyes unreadable.
“Loki,” he finally broke the silence.
“Yes?” Loki replied, raising his right eyebrow slightly. He nonchalantly turned the page of his book.
“So, do you think we can have a civil conversation about y/n for once?” Thor questioned. Loki shrugged.
“I’m not sure there’s much to talk about, but I’ll stay calm if you can act like an adult.” Thor sighed and rolled his eyes.
“This is going to be harder than I thought,” he said. Loki snapped his book shut and tossed it onto the coffee table.
“Thor,” he began, “I don’t know what you want me to say at this point.”
“Loki,” Thor mimicked his brother’s tone, “We both know that you have some rather strong feelings for Lady y/n.” Loki opened his mouth in an attempt to protest.
“Brother, don’t try to argue, we both know how you feel about her,” Thor cut him off. “As much as I hate to admit it, I’m worried about you.” Loki laughed bitterly at his brother’s words.
“Thor I don’t interfere with your life and you’ve never exactly taken an interest in mine,” Loki snapped, “Why do you care so much all of a sudden?” Thor grimaced at him.
“You know how easily mortals perish,” Thor began. “I’m not so sure the world could handle it if you had a meltdown; not to mention the decades of pain you’d cause yourself.” Loki looked like he wanted to argue but he knew Thor had a point. Inside his head the two sides of his brain-one rational and the other love stricken-fought for control. In the end, rationality won out. Loki ran his fingers through his hair, contemplating his next words carefully.
“As much as I hate to agree with you, I see your point,” Loki said, a wry smile frozen in his face. “At the same time, part of me wants to move on, to see what else life has to hold. Another part of me hates myself for wanting that, for wanting to forget about Sigyn.” Thor nodded slightly, listening carefully to his brother’s words.
“I know that it would be impossibly hard to lose y/n through death, but I’m not sure if I could forgive myself for letting her go.” Loki spoke softly as he stared, almost as if transfixed, at the coffee table. “What if this is my chance?” he said, bringing his head up sharply to meet his brother’s eyes, “What if this is my chance to find love again?” Loki’s words hung in the air, their severity not lost on the thunder god. Thor gave his brother a pitying glance.
“All these years we have spent on this earth, and it still has not revealed all its secrets to us,” Thor rumbled thoughtfully. Loki tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling, rubbing his temples.
“What shall I do,” the lovesick god groaned.
“Maybe you should see where this all leads,” Thor conceded, “I don’t want to listen to you complain about ‘the one that got away’ for the next thousand years or so.” Thor quipped, attempting to make light of the situation. Loki flashed Thor his signature wolf’s grin, glad he finally had his brother on his side. Ding. The quiet sound of the elevator’s doors opening broke the amicable silence.
“Hello boys” y/n practically shouted as she flounced into the room, a mischievous grin played across her face. Loki couldn’t help smiling back at her.
“Y/n,” Thor rumbled in greeting, “Loki and I were just talking about you.” Loki shot Thor a panicked glance. Shut up! Loki thought, trying to convey his thoughts through his eyes. Thor rolled his eyes in response, I wasn’t going to tell her anything, he seemed to say.
“All good things I hope.” she said as she unwound her scarf and brushed the snow from her hat.
“Always” Loki answered. He studied the contours of her face, still puzzled by his predicament.
“And where are the others? I was hoping we could go sledding or maybe have a snowball fight.” Loki caught y/n’s eye flitting about the room, as if she were attempting to summon the other avengers.
“The Captain and Lady Natasha are off on a mission and I believe Tony is in the lab with Dr. Banner.” Thor replied as he counted down the team members on his fingers.
“What exactly is a snowball fight?” Loki said, his eyebrows knit together in confusion.
“You don’t know what a snowball fight is?” Y/n was yelling again. Loki winced, noting that his brother did as well. It was hard to have the hearing of a god sometimes.
“I wouldn’t ask if I knew darling.” Loki replied condescendingly. He cursed himself for his slip of the tongue. Darling, really? Could you be anymore obvious? he berated himself .
“Thor, get a coat and Stark and Banner and drag them out of their hole. Loki, get your butt outside.” She ordered them around like a drill sergeant. Loki, finding her commanding tone amusing, donned his coat and followed her outside.
She led him to a small park only about a block or so from the tower. A small pond on the far side of the park appeared to be frozen over, and a coat of fresh, white snow blanketed the rolling hills that spanned the park. Y/n, grinning like a child, ran to the top of the largest hill and knelt in the snow. She scooped up a handful of snow, squeezing and packing it between her hands to form a near perfect sphere of snow.
“What are you doing?” Loki asked as he approached her curiously.
“Making snowballs,” y/n replied, “can’t have a snowball fight without snowballs. Wanna help?” Loki looked down at his feet, embarrassed at his inexperience.
“I don’t know how,” the trickster said as he focused back on y/n’s hands.
“I’ll show you,” y/n said brightly. She scooped up a handful of snow, placing it in Loki’s hands before grabbing more for herself. “You just squish it and then shape it.” Loki watched carefully as she molded the shapeless lump of snow into another perfect sphere. He clumsily attempted to replicate her movements to no avail. He looked at the snow in his hands. It looked more like a lemon than a ball. Y/n looked over at him and laughed, the sweet sounds ringing out through the cold air.
“You need help?” she giggled.
“No, I’ve got this” Loki insisted. He scowled as he attempted to reform the snow which was now shaped like an egg.
“Here,” y/n moved toward the god, kneeling at his side. Her warm breath puffed out in little clouds. “you just squish and shape,” she repeated. She wrapped her hands around his in an attempt to help him. Loki hid a pleased grin, maybe it would take him a few more tries to master the snowball. “There you go!” Y/n shouted encouragingly. Loki grinned at placed the rough sphere aside, scooping up another handful of snow. Suddenly, Loki noticed the crunching of feet in snow. He looked up and saw Thor, Bruce, and Tony quickly approaching him. Y/n waved at them lazily before she turned back to the pile of snow in front of her. It looked as though she was constructing a small wall out of snow. As Tony began constructing his own extravagant fort, y/n explained their use in the game.
“I’m assuming it’s you and Loki against Bruce, Thor, and I,” Tony grinned as he completed his fort. Loki scrutinized the scientist, he looked excited for the coming snow battle.
“I want Bruce,” y/n interrupted. Loki gave her a deer-in-the-headlights stare. He hated to admit it, but he was still rather terrified of Bruce. Loki remembered the way his body had whipped around like a rag doll’s back in New York. As he recalled his pain, Loki winced and backed a few steps away from Bruce.
“Who said I was involving myself in this?” Bruce protested. Loki nearly sighed in relief, praise Odin, he thought.
“Loosen up a bit and have some fun for once Banner,” Tony replied. Curse you, Loki’s palms began to sweat.
“I could go green,” Bruce began, his voice tinged with hesitation. Loki could already feel a ball of anxiety forming in the pit of his stomach.
“And that’s why you’re on my side,” y/n barged in, “That way if you do go green the big guy can smash Tony and not me.”
“Wow, thanks, feeling the love over here.” Tony complained, faking a look of indignance.
Y/n just rolled her eyes and carefully explained the rules to both Loki and Thor. It was a basic game of war but no actual fighting or killing involved, Loki was more than a little disappointed by that. Y/n added two more rules to the list: no powers and no tech. Loki and Thor looked at each other and grinned, more than a little excited about their first snowball fight. Soon, the air was filled with a flurry of snowballs. Members of both teams ran in circles, ducking behind forts and laughing like children. They soon switched up the teams, putting Loki and Thor against the others and Tony’s suits of armor. Loki was enjoying his first snowball fight much more than he thought he would. Suddenly, a rather large snowball caught him square in the face. His skin stung from the force of the projectile coupled with the biting cold. Loki, surprised that anyone had even managed to hit him, looked up sharply. His eyes locked with y/n’s, who looked equally shocked. Tony and Bruce took a few steps toward her, ready to jump to her defense at a moment’s notice. The crisp air was silent and filled with an unreadable tension. Thor began to laugh, shattering the silence with his joy.
“You should’ve seen your face brother,” Thor guffawed loudly, “You’ve been bested by a mortal girl.”
“Oh I wouldn’t say bested,” Loki said slyly. “She’s in for it now.” He stalked forward like a cat hunting a mouse. Y/n met his gaze with a smile on her face. Tony took as step forward, moving between y/n and the approaching god.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take a step back reindeer games.” Tony protested.
“Why are you scared?” Loki looked at y/n, the hurt evident on his face.
“Tony, move.” Y/n ordered, refusing to break her gaze with the Norse god. Tony looked at her in surprise, then shock.
“What?” he spluttered.
“I said move,” she said much more confidently this time, “he’s not going to hurt me.”
“You don’t know that,” Tony argued. Loki looked at him sharply, don’t interfere human.
“It’s a public place and there’s 3 of you and only one him. Even if he multiplied himself it would draw a lot of attention.” she reasoned, “Plus, I trust him.”
“Fine, it’s your funeral,” Tony conceded as he moved to the side, allowing Loki free passage. Loki prowled forward, his hands clasped behind his back. Y/n smiled at him sweetly, clearly unaware of what the trickster god was about to do. Quick as a flash, Loki darted forward, grabbed an armful of snow, shoveled it into her hood, and yanked it over her head.
“YOU ASS!” his victim shrieked as snow fell into her coat. Loki, nearly overpowered with a fit a giggles, darted away as y/n attempted to launch an armful of snow at him.
“I hate you so much right now,” she yelled through her giggles, “You better watch your back.” The organized teams dissolved into chaos, the air filled with flying snow. Much too soon, the snowball fight was over and the quintet headed back to the tower. Loki looked up at the sky, admiring the breathtaking shades of orange and crimson. It had been nice to let loose for once.
Soon, the god found himself gathered around the coffee table with Thor and y/n, a mug of hot chocolate warming each pair of hands. They talked quietly, trying to warm themselves after their afternoon spent out in the cold. But after y/n discovered that neither of the gods had been sledding before, the two gods found themselves out in the cold again, at the top of a high hill. At the end of the hill was the small frozen pond, the water cloudy with small bubbles. Y/n explained the task of sledding to the two brothers: Get on top of the strange board, push yourself down the hill, and hold on.
The trio spent many hours outside, running up and down the hill, laughing and hollering loudly. The sun began to disappear from the sky, its golden rays giving way to a black night. Loki climbed onto the sled for his last ride, y/n climbing on after him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek into his back. Loki pushed off and the pair raced down the hill. Something about this sled ride seemed different, they seemed to be going faster-much faster in fact- than they had gone before. Realizing what was going to happen, y/n gripped Loki’s waist tighter, dragging her feet in the snow. Loki attempted to do the same, trying to slow the sled, but it was too late. The sled skidded onto the ice, spinning in wild circles. Loki tried to grab y/n’s arms, but it was too late. The disoriented girl slipped through his fingers, spiraling across the ice. Loki was in a panic, he looked at y/n desperately, wanting badly to help her but knowing the ice couldn’t support their combined weight. Then he heard it, a terrible sound that made his heart stop cold; the crack of thin ice as y/n took a few tentative steps forward. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, like a terrible car wreck. The cracks beneath y/n’s feet began to spread as she shot him a panicked look. Thor was shouting on the shore of the lake, unable to help in time. The ice under her feet caved inward like a trap door, dropping her into the dark cold waters below. Loki stood frozen for half a second, watching in horror as y/n thrashed about in the water. He leapt forward and sank his hands into the frigid waters, grabbing y/n around the waist and pulling her out of the water. She flopped onto the ice, spluttering and coughing as she shivered. Y/n opened her eyes, blinking a few times as if to clear her eyes. She stared at him, confused and dazed.
“Loki-,” she gaped. He tried to read the expression in her eyes, could it be disgust? Loki looked down at his hands, they were cobalt blue. He groaned inwardly knowing his bright blue skin and red eyes were probably terrifying the poor girl. Y/n stumbled to her feet, her legs shaking. Loki grasped the sleeve of her coat, careful not to touch her skin as he helped her to shore. He delivered her into Thor’s waiting arms, his usually obnoxious brother quiet for once. Then the trickster was gone, having dissolved into thin air.
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Loki materialized in the living room of the tower and stumbled over to the couch, collapsing on it in defeat. He stared at the high ceilings as he tried to hold back his anger and sadness. He had finally found someone he could be with, and after having wrestled with his feelings for so long, he had nothing to show for it. Loki replayed the afternoon in his mind, all the idle touches and glances shared between them had tricked him into thinking y/n had feelings for him. But at the lake… He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. Her eyes had said it all. The deep look of disgust within them charged him as a monster. Inhuman. Unlovable.
Gods, why did I have to screw this up? Loki tortured himself in his thoughts. He sat for another half hour, his whirling mind filled with what if’s. The soft sounds of the elevator woke him from his stupor of self deprecation. The doors slid open and Thor stormed into the room, seething as he marched in.
“Would you care to explain to me WHAT all that was about?” Thor growled as he approached his brother. Loki turned his head and eyed his brother warily.
“What do you mean?” He groaned.
“What do I mean? Loki, you saved y/n’s life and then left her out in the cold! She could barely put a sentence together she was shivering so hard.” Thor shouted. “What happened to being madly in love with her?” Loki stared at the ceiling, his eyes vacant and empty.
“Did you see the way she looked at me?” He murmured, clearly ignoring his brother. “She looked at me like I was a monster.” Thor looked at him in disbelief.
“That’s what you’re upset about! Are you crazy?” Thor shouted. “She nearly drowned, I’m sure she was more scared for her life than she was of you.”
“Don’t call me crazy,” Loki replied, his voice rising, “you didn’t see the look in her eyes.”
“Stop being so melodramatic,” Thor mocked, “trust me you’re not that important to her.”
Loki sat up abruptly, his jaw tightening.
“Get. Out.” He hissed through his teeth. “Now.”
“You can’t keep running from your problems,” Thor said patronizingly with a raised eyebrow.
“I don’t need you to lord over me Thor,” Loki shot back.
“Maybe if you could control your temper, we could solve your little problem, and I wouldn’t need to babysit you.” Thor mocked, his voice full of false sweetness.
“Don’t talk down to me,” Loki growled, “I don’t need your help or your pity.”
“This is exactly what I’m talking about,” Thor exclaimed. “You’re not acting like you anymore. Just listen to yourself, you sound like a child!” Loki opened his mouth as if to protest, only to shut it abruptly. He seemed to deflate suddenly.
“You’re right,” the trickster conceded quietly, defeated at his brother’s words. If Thor is right twice in one day then something must be wrong, Loki thought.
“I don’t know if I deserve her,” Loki admitted suddenly. Thor gave him a long look.
“I don’t understand, are you trying to find a reason to leave y/n?” Thor said. Loki fidgeted with the edge of his coat, realizing he hadn’t taken it off.
“Every time I try to take a step forward, it’s like there’s something dragging me back.” Loki began. Then he frowned. “Sigyn. She’s not dragging me back, but as long as she lives on in my memory I can’t bring myself to move forward.”
“I think she would want you to be happy.” Thor replied quietly.
“I know that and I thought I had finally let go, still I can’t help but wonder if it’s an insult to her memory to forget her.” Loki confided.
“I-I don’t know,” for once in his life Thor sounded uncertain.
“Sometimes I wish she hadn’t sacrificed herself for me,” Loki said absentmindedly. He curled up into a ball on the sofa, slipping back into his dark thoughts. “It’s not fair that she can’t be here right now,” his voice faded to a whisper, “It’s just not fair.”
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A/N: As always, thanks to G for editing and for providing the story line. Thanks to you guys for reading, if you liked this fic you might also want to check out:
Questionable Intentions
Splitting Hairs
Splitting Hairs: Extensions
An Open Book
An Open Book: Between the Lines
Baby It’s Cold Outside
(We’ve got quite a list of these going by now!)
G and I are super excited about this series but we’ve got finals coming up this week, so we’ll do our best to keep posting for all you lovely readers!
~A