To Be a Writer
Ten Years Later... AU (Set in the premise that Yahaba became a journalist and Watari became a doctor.)
“Long time no see!” Watari greets, but he casually sits down in front of Yahaba’s desk, crossing his legs like he owns the place.
“We literally met each other yesterday, because you couldn’t wait one day to tell me about your new boyfriend!” Yahaba complains, but smiles nostalgically.
“So, how are you and Kyoutani doing?”
“Okay.” Yahaba tries and fails to hide his blush.
“Just okay?” Watari raises his eyebrows.
“I’m supposed to be asking the questions today.”
“Yeah, you’re supposed to be, but are you really?” Watari uncrosses his legs, leaning forward a bit.
Yahaba sighs, but doesn’t argue. He ignores his friend’s question and asks, “Why do you write stories?”
“I thought this was about my job as a doctor?” Watari mutters, looking slightly nervous. How the hell do you know I write?
Yahaba gives him the ‘just-answer-the-damn-question’ look and Watari hesitates before nodding and going into professional mode.
“First and foremost, it’s a way to let out stress. It can be really stressful juggling doctor duties, social life, and family affairs. It’s a way to stay grounded while simultaneously being able to let your mind drift. It provides you with an escape so you can keep living normally the rest of the time,” the doctor replies.
“When did you start writing stories?” Yahaba asks while scribbling down the answer to his first question.
Watari chuckles before answering, “I was cleaning up my room the other day and found a story I wrote when I was in elementary school. It was called “The Tiny Little Bug.”
“What was it about?” Yahaba asks, unable to hide the laughter in his voice.
“I’m the main character and I basically save the day by catching a little bug that’s pestering my family.”
Yahaba is unable to muffle a laugh behind his hand.
“Shut up.”
Yahaba avoids Watari’s half-hearted slap to his arm and continues, “If you could make the same amount of money for each, would you continue your job as a doctor or become an author and publish a book? “Become an author.” Watari answers without any hesitation.
“Really? Why?” Yahaba hides his surprise behind a raised eyebrow.
“I have so many original stories I want to publish, but I never have time to write them and they'd probably never sell. So if I was guaranteed enough money to live an average life and have time to write my stories, I'd be so happy,” Watari’s face blooms with a soft smile.
“But wasn’t becoming a doctor your dream job?” The journalist gives his friend a confused look.
“It was, and it still is. But writing as a hobby is also rewarding. It gives me a chance to view life from a different angle. And being a doctor is pretty stressful.”
Yahaba looks down at his list of questions, furrowing his brows. He crosses out a few before asking, “Why do you love writing so much?”
“Isn't it obvious? It's an escape from reality. It keeps me sane.”
“That doesn't make sense.” The interviewer whispers more to himself.
“I temporarily concentrate on characters in semi-fictional situations that are usually feeling or doing something that I'm currently going through. It helps to verify that I'm alive and when I receive feedback, it further encourages me that I'm needed and worthy of other’s time.”
“But how’s that different from being a doctor?”
“You don’t always get positive feedback as a doctor. Sadly, some of it is negative.” Watari’s eyes stray to the ground.
“Hmm, but then what about comments with hate in them? Or people who are not supportive of your hobbies?”
“I usually ignore them.”
“Then I’m going to ask again, but how’s that different from being a doctor?”
“As a writer, you can ignore hateful comments or unsupportive people. As a doctor, ignoring the negative feedback could potentially be dangerous. Being a doctor means you literally have people’s lives in your hands. You need to constantly know the condition of your patients, the people you work with, the patients’ families, etc. There are so many more factors you have to consider and it’s not the best place to try to ‘escape from reality’,” Watari answers with a grim expression.
“So writing is a way of expressing yourself?”
Watari nods.
“Interesting...”
The doctor tilts his head to the side questioningly.
“You mentioned something about writing original stories earlier, but I heard somewhere that you write fanfictions?” Yahaba swiftly changes the subject.
“Where’d you hear that from?!” The doctor’s nervousness returns.
“Um... I might have found your blog by accident?” He gives his friend an apologetic look.
Watari sighs. “I knew it would happen sooner or later...”
“So, why fanfiction?” Yahaba asks tentatively.
“Who would want to let up on a chance to write good stories when you had so much material right in front of you?” Watari wags his eyebrows suggestively.
Yahaba replies with an annoyed stare.
“What? I was just joking!”
“Just answer the question.”
“I can’t lie; I had a lot of good material to write about during high school because of you guys.” Watari grins at his friend’s nervous splutter but continues, “oh yeah, I started writing fanfics when I was in middle school I think? Anyways, fanfictions are the best stories to write when you’re short on time, or feel really attached to a character/fandom. I think there’s many reasons, but there are three main reasons for me. First, the characters are already developed, or easy to develop. All you have to do is mention a name or characteristic and the reader already has an image of the person down. You don’t need to spend extra time explaining the characters. Second, the setting also doesn’t need to be explained unless it’s in an alternate universe. But still, it’s pretty simple since the basic canonic storyline is understood by the reader. And lastly, I genuinely enjoy writing about the characters and fandom. There are many feelings behind a story that includes your favorite characters and it’s a great way to connect with other people who have the same interests.”
“Woah, you’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?” Yahaba continues furiously scribbling on his notepad.
“I’m pretty sure every writer has?”
“I doubt it. A lot of writers just do it for fun and don’t think about it too deeply.”
“Hmm, I don’t know about that.” Watari watches Yahaba stop his pen for a second. “Hey, isn’t typing much faster than writing?”
“Do you type up your stories or write them out?” Yahaba answers with a question.
“I... I usually write them out,” Watari mutters sheepishly.
“I’m sure the reasoning is the same as mine,” Yahaba comments, adding a few bullet points to his notes.
“You sure about that? Interviewing and writing stories are pretty different.”
“Then why do you prefer writing your stories out, even though you’re going to have to type them up later?” Yahaba’s annoyance leaks into his voice.
“I like editing my stories a lot. I write it out with pen or pencil, use a read pen to correct, maybe use a different colored pen to edit some more and then type it up.”
“Ew. That sounds like writing an essay.”
“Says the journalist.” Watari grins, taking a pen from Yahaba’s collection and spinning it between his fingers.
“I don’t write essays. I write articles.”
“Same difference?”
“What’s the difference between stories and essays then?”
Watari gives him an ‘are-you-seriously-being-serious-right-now?’ look, but Yahaba only smirks in reply. “Stories are usually fictional and based on the writer’s imagination. Essays are usually non-fiction and used to prove or explain a fact.”
“Thought so.”
“Hey, maybe you should’ve stuck with being a scientist instead of-”
“When did you start posting online?” Yahaba cuts his friend off with a warning glare.
Watari huffs, but seriously ponders over the question for a bit, his face contorting into a frown. “I was super hesitant at first. I was barely in high school and my mom was half-threatening me not to post online. I learned later that she thought I wasn’t going to post anonymously, so she was just looking out for me. Her words really got to me though, and I promised myself I wouldn’t post on major websites (AO3, fanfiction.net, etc) until I was 18. But I did make an anonymous account on a site that’s not very well known. It took me about a year to actually post something, so I think my first post was sometime during the end of freshman year.”
“It took that long?”
“Yeah.”
“So, what type of stories do you like to write?”
“Angst with a happy ending.” Watari answers with no hesitation.
“Angst?”
“Sad stories with reasonably happy endings. Hurt and comfort stories,” Watari attempts to explain. Yahaba continues to give him a confused look.
“I think only fanfiction writers and readers would understand.”
“Oh, about that, can you explain some of the fanfiction lingo to me?”
“Which ones?”
“What do ship, crackfic, OTP, OOC, and lemon mean?” Yahaba asks innocently.
Watari’s eyes widen at the last one, but he swiftly covers it with a chuckle. “Fans usually ship two people together as a pairing. A crackfic is a fanfic that’s really random and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. An OTP is a one true pair, or one of the fan’s favorite pairings. OOC means out of character. As for a lemon...” Watari trails off, cheeks reddening.
“Hey, you can’t stop there!” Yahaba is adamant in getting an answer.
“Why not?”
“I read a few summaries for the fanfics written about Ken- Kyoutani and I and some say ‘Warning: lemon.’”
“Did you check the rating?”
“The what?”
“Just don’t read any that say lemon. Or lime, for that matter.” Watari warns.
“What the hell does that mean?!”
“Some things are better left unsaid.”
“That’s not fair!!!” Yahaba pouts, glaring at his friend. Watari zips his lips shut, throwing the ‘key’ out the open door. “Ugh, whatever.”
“You out of questions yet?” Watari puts the pen down and picks up a piece of paper.
“Nope. What’s the hardest thing about writing fanfics?”
“Probably making sure the characters stay in character? And getting through writer's block can be pretty tough.” The writer starts folding the paper into different shapes.
“How do you get motivation to write?”
“I write better when I’m stressed. But I can’t write if I’m too tired, so a good balance is needed.”
Yahaba stays silent for a few seconds before asking, “How do you even write then?”
“Oh, that’s a secret.”
“You don’t even write that much, do you?”
“I can’t help being such a popular doctor~” Watari sings. Yahaba rolls his eyes, being used to his friend’s random childish outbursts.
“What’s your favorite thing about writing?”
“Have I mentioned stress relief before?” Watari throws his paper plane across the room, snickering when it turns and hits Yahaba on the back of the head.
“Have I asked you how you were even able to become a doctor before?” Yahaba growls, before realizing his over-reaction and hiding his annoyance. Damn it, Kentarou’s rubbing off on me!
Watari grins. “I usually leave a hidden message in my stories by speaking through the characters.”
“Speaking through the characters?”
“Yeah. I honestly suck at talking about myself. So it's much easier to make the characters experience what I'm going through and have them speak my thoughts.” Watari peels a square post it off of Yahaba’s desk, folding it into a triangle. He frowns when the corners don’t match. A few seconds of silence follow before Watari looks up to meet Yahaba’s confused stare.
“For example, if I wanted to convey that I feel uncomfortable when people talk about my stories in front of other people, then I'd write a story where the main character accidentally reveals a secret to their friend. The main character makes their friend promise not to tell anyone. But said friend occasionally slips up and the main character gets increasingly stressed about it until they just shut down whenever that topic comes up,” Watari clarifies.
“Isn't that a little too vague?”
“I told you; before anything, the reason why I write is to relieve stress. It's not always to convey a message. Sure, it'd be nice if people understood how I felt and changed because of it, but it's enough for me to vent and get out what I need to.
And in no way am I saying I don't care about my readers' thoughts. I do care. I probably care a lot more than I should, because I try not to write based off of what the reader's want, but sometimes it naturally becomes like that. That's why I stopped posting on the first site I posted stories on. I felt like I was writing what the readers wanted and not what I wanted to write. Of course, writing stories goes both ways. But it needs to be balanced. If the writer feels stressed about writing a certain way, there's no point in writing. Writing should be fun, not stressful.”
“Okay, I think you’ve stressed the part about stress enough.”
“Oh my, Yahaba, was that a pun?”
“Pun? What the hell?!”
“How long is this mock interview? I thought this was supposed to be practice for your first one-on-one interview with that new actress tomorrow? And wasn’t it supposed to be about my job as a doctor?” Watari complains, ignoring his interviewer.
“I wanted to know more about how you became a writer. You were really secretive about it, so I naturally wanted to know more and...”
“Don’t tell me...” Watari covers his face with his hands. “You’ve read my stories on my blog?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit. Shit, Yahaba, I’m supposed to be anonymous!”
“You know, this interview would make a great first article for-”
“This goes against the law of patients’ privacy!”
“Dude, I’m a journalist, not a doctor.”
“Shigeru.” His friend’s tone makes said journalist meet eyes with the doctor. You better not to tell anyone. Yahaba is unable to turn away from the raw desperation in Watari’s eyes.
“I was just joking.” I would never betray you.
Watari’s eyes soften and release Yahaba from their spell.
“But why are you so secretive about it?” Yahaba asks, genuinely curious.
“It’s not something you’d brag about. And the stories I write wouldn’t really be accepted by the majority of the public.”
“I think you should be proud of it. But I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to,” Yahaba promises.
“Thanks bro.”
“Anytime.”
A comfortable silence sweeps over the room, before Yahaba mutters, “One last question.”
“Yeah?”
“How much of your stories is based on real life?” Despite Yahaba’s promise of not writing an article based off of their interview, he still has his pen ready to take notes.
“Maybe 20 percent or less? I try not to base too many of my stories on real life so that no one will figure out who I am. My goal was to stay completely anonymous, but you already know how that turned out...”
“It was kind of obvious though?” the interviewer finally puts down his notepad and pen, leaning back in his chair.
“Shoot.” Watari’s face blooms into a strawberry when he remembers a particular fanfic that he wrote not too long ago.
“I’m pretty sure most of the Seijou team knew.”
“Shit.”
“You okay Watari? You’re looking like a character from one of your lovely fanfictions,” Yahaba teases, sticking out his tongue.
“You sound like one of my salty ass characters who doesn’t realize he’s in love with his rival until his best friend spells it out for him,” Watari counters, grinning triumphantly at Yahaba’s red ears. Hmmm, is he angry or just embarrassed?
“Fuck off.”
He’s totally embarrassed. “Woah, Yahaba, I think your boyfriend isn’t a good influence on you.” Watari continues to banter.
It’s Yahaba’s turn to bloom into a strawberry. But instead of covering his face, he lunges towards his friend, trying to smack him across the chest.
“Oh my gosh, Yahaba, you’re just proving me more right!!!” Watari chuckles, avoiding each attack. However, the journalist is able to catch Watari’s arm and promptly proceeds to poke him in the ribs.
A high-pitched squeak comes out of the doctor. He pokes him again, this time a little harder. “Ahaha, Yahaba, that feels funny!”
Fingers dig into his sides, and both men are unable to hold in their crescendoing giggles. Loud peals of laughter echo through the door and across the hallway of the usually quiet magazine company.
“Yahaba, you better not be flirting with your boyfriend again!” A loud shout interrupts their laughter.
Yahaba’s face blooms again and Watari continues snickering quietly.
I know what my next fanfiction is going to be about.