I aināt done anything good to myself. I am a hypocrite. I tell people Iām okay when in fact Iām not. I cry in every failure I make. I feel ashamed of my mistakes. I blame others and Ā totally forget what Iāve learned. I like to lip service someone with my words, but I am afraid of being sweetened with their flattery.Ā
I am writing this journal so that when I want to look back at some moments, I can see if thereās a progress happened. That if my technique will work, cause you see I canāt understand myself, its like my mind has its own mind. When I try to be optimistic, sadness will then come in declutter my thoughts. My emotions are waves, they kept tossing and tossing me around. But one thing I know is, I stay in love with one thing.Ā And that one thing, is loving the idea that I still painfully honest with myself.Ā
