simon kalivoda nsfw alphabet
✘ word count. 1.8k words ✘ tags/warnings. 18+ mdni, f!reader, mentions of kinks (obvs) ✘ a/n. wanted to try my hand at these headcanons for some of fred's characters for kinktober :3 as always these are just my hcs & are totally subjective, so we might not all agree & that's okay 💚 ✘ divider credit(s). @/cafekitsune + @/strangergraphics
✧ Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
✘ After sex, Simon gets extremely relaxed–almost as if he’s high–and all he wants to do is get as comfortable as possible with you. Whether it’s you draped over him, or him draped over you, your limbs lazily intertwined, or slotted tightly against each other, he wants to be touching you—the feel of your skin on his is so soothing and makes him feel safe. ✘ Will always help clean you off afterward, as he likes to make a mess, and he finds the act of wiping you clean a part of his responsibilities.
✧ Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
✘ Simon’s favourite body part of his own, is his chest and soft stomach. He’s not shy about wearing low cut tops, let alone going shirtless. ✘ He loves it when you run your fingers through his chest and body hair, following it all the way down to his happy trail, especially if you’re resting your head against his chest or belly. ✘ His favourite body part of yours? Your ass. He loves pinching it, squeezing it, smacking it. He loves the way it jiggles when he’s pounding into you or you’re bouncing on him. He even loves using it as a pillow if you let him. ✘ Although, on second thought, he also loves your tits just as much, mostly for the same reasons lol.
✧ Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
✘ He loves cumming on your body. Something about seeing you covered in his mess satisfies him to no end—especially a thick pearl necklace. ✘ If you’re sucking him off and open your mouth to show him his cum on your tongue before swallowing, he’s a goner.
✧ Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
✘ The thought of getting caught in the act, actually really turns Simon on. ✘ He’s never considered himself an exhibitionist, but something about someone walking in on him pleasuring you strokes his ego to no end. ✘ I think it has more to do with showing off that you’re his—like marking you, but more extreme—that makes it so appealing to him. Probably because there’s always this little voice in his head that says he’s not good enough for you.
✧ Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
✘ Somewhat experienced. Simon’s been with a few people before you, so he knows basically what he’s doing, but he’s always willing to learn, and he’s a very hands-on learner.
✧ Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
✘ Missionary — for as many kinks as this boy has, he’s fairly vanilla when it comes to his preference for positions. He likes being able to kiss you and see all the cute faces you make when you’re cumming. ✘ However, when he’s feeling subby and wants you to be in control, he prefers you to ride him, so he can squeeze and play with your tits. ✘ He also loves any position that gives him a good view of your ass, like doggy style or reverse cowgirl.
✧ Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
✘ Let’s face it, Simon’s usually gunna be on the goofier side, it’s just who he is—he likes to make you laugh outside the bedroom as well as in. ✘ Whether it be cracking jokes in the heat of the moment, or using some over the top cheesy dirty talk, he likes to have fun with you while having sex—plus he finds your little giggles adorable. ✘ However, when he’s really frustrated—if you’ve been teasing or edging him, or he’s had a shitty day—or if he’s getting close, he finally grows more focused and serious.
✧ Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
✘ Simon doesn’t really care much about grooming down there. Occasionally he’ll trim, for special occasions, but usually he’s just full bush, not that you mind. (Neither does he mind body hair on you either.) ✘ The carpet most definitely matches the drapes.
✧ Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
✘ For as silly as Simon can be with all his brash bravado and joking around, there’s a soft sweet side underneath it all, and in the moment, when it’s just you and him, he can be incredibly romantic. ✘ Not romantic in a cliche way, but it’s in the way his eyes soften when they meet yours, or the tender way he touches you, as if you were the most precious thing he’d ever touched, wanting to make sure you feel good and loved and cared for.
✧ Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
✘ Simon jacks it a lot—sometimes several times a day. Hell, sometimes he’ll just rub one out if he’s bored or needs help falling asleep, anything to distract from the harder parts of his life. ✘ Once you start dating, he masturbates much less, but doesn’t stop completely. Usually only if you’re not around to help him though. ✘ Has definitely jerked off into your stolen panties before.
✧ Kink (One or more of their kinks)
✘ I feel like Simon’s definitely on the kinkier side. ✘ Likes messy sex, high sex, roleplaying, being tied up and teased, or tying you up to tease, edging, bratting, choking/breathplay, food play, ass play—from fingering to pegging–he’s not squeamish, panty sniffing/stealing, voyeurism, public/semi-public sex, a little bit of degradation and a good slap here or there, and as long as you’re okay with it, somnophilila—loves fucking you awake (or to sleep).
✧ Location (Favourite places to do the do)
✘ Simon’s honestly not picky, he’s down to do the dirty pretty much anywhere, especially in public/semi-public places. ✘ Some of his favourite spots include the girl’s bathroom at school, the back stock room/cleaning closet at work, in his car, or the movie theater.
✧ Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
✘ It usually doesn’t take much to get Simon going—show him some skin or give him a suggestive look and you’ve definitely got his attention. ✘ If you wanna up the ante: tugging on his hair, fleeting inappropriate touches, eating suggestively, kissing his neck, nipping/sucking at his earlobe, “sitting” in his lap—more like squirming in his lap, or purring inappropriate things in his ear, are all good ways to get what you want.
✧ NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
✘ There’s not much Simon won’t try at least once, except knife play—not after having that close call with Ruby Lane’s razor blade, or gun play. ✘ He’s also hesitant about anything that might hurt you.
✧ Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
✘ Prefers to receive, but isn’t opposed to giving. ✘ He just thinks you look so hot on your knees, and while he’s decent at eating you out, he’s always a little worried it’s not good enough.
✧ Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
✘ It’s a mix, depending on his mood. If it’s a quickie or you’ve riled him up and he can’t take it any more, it’s gunna be fast and rough, but when he actually has time, he likes to slow down and savour it, bringing out his more sensitive side that most people don’t really get to see and just worshiping you.
✧ Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
✘ Loves them. If he can squeeze a quickie in before his shift, or during school, he’ll do it. It just means more time he gets to spend with you, plus he loves the thrill.
✧ Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
✘ Like I said, Simon’s up to try just about anything. He got his hands on a book of sex positions once and you’ve definitely tried a fair amount of them, not to mention some of the things you’ve seen in different pornos. ✘ He’s also a man of many kinks, some of which he didn’t realize were even there until you did some experimenting. Plus the risk of getting caught always excites him.
✧ Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
✘ Has medium stamina, except on days he’s had to work a double shift, then poor boy is too worn out and you might have to do most of the work. ✘ Usually you don’t go more than one round per night, unless you’re really pent up or have time for more than you might go two rounds, but you’ve also got to factor in the at least one to two quickies earlier in the day.
✧ Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
✘ Simon definitely has a fleshlight that he got before meeting you—and which you tease him relentlessly about. ✘ When he saw your dildo, he was rather interested in it and you offered to use it on him, already having slipped a finger up there a few times and knowing he enjoyed it. Eventually you get a strap-on and decide it was one of the best things you’ve ever purchased. ✘ Otherwise, he’d rather use your toys on you. He’s an absolute menace with a vibrator—teasing and edging you to oblivion. ✘ He’s always wanted to use one of those remote control vibrators on you, just to tease you in public to see how well you could keep a straight face.
✧ Unfair (How much they like to tease)
✘ Simon is a huge tease. He’s rather playful in general, but he can be a real brat. ✘ He absolutely gets off on making you squirm and getting you all riled up and soaked for him—especially in public where you can’t do anything about it. ✘ He gets the biggest smug grin whenever you break down and beg for him to fuck you.
✧ Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
✘ Simon’s pretty loud. I mean, he’s kind of a loud mouth in general, but that also carries over to the bedroom too. He likes to moan, loud. You’ve definitely had to cover his mouth with your hand before so as not to be caught. ✘ He also talks a lot— lots of cheesy dirty talk, that either works surprisingly well, or has you cracking up. He’s also incredibly whiny and makes the cutest whimpers and whines when you tease him.
✧ Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
✘ Has a penchant for stealing your panties. He’s usually shoving them in his pocket once he gets you out of them. ✘ He just really loves the smell of you, and thinks it’s incredibly hot making you spend the rest of the day/night without them on.
✧ X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
✘ Lengthwise, average-ish—5”-5.5”, but girthy ✘ Circumcised & a bit of a grower
✧ Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
✘ Pretty damn high, which isn’t that shocking given how often he masturbates. ✘ It’s not uncommon for you to have sex nearly every day, at least once a day, unless Simon has to work, and even that doesn’t always deter you from getting busy in the back room at the Grab & Bag.
✧ ZZZ... (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
✘ It doesn’t take long for Simon to pass out after sex, especially with how completely relaxed and worn out he gets afterwards. ✘ Most times he falls asleep before you do, sometimes mid conversation, but it’s endearing how sweet he looks while asleep that you can’t be mad. ✘ Sometimes he wakes a bit later to find you watching him sleep, a soft expression on your face that makes his chest tight with affection, and other times he sleeps so deeply, it’s almost impossible to wake him.
