i literally feel like I’m getting punished for being such a procrastinator
Back in 2017,I had such an overflowing energy to discuss septic egos/ mark egos ideas and stories with my friend.And because I was such a procrastinator,i never ended up drawing or making fanfics out of those storied,despite me saying stuff like “oh i should draw that”I feel like I missed so many opportunities,and this year,despite me saying I’d create more (which I still intend to do) i feel like..I’m too late.The community seems to be tearing itself from the inside,people dont want to be associated with Sean anymore (i dont wanna go into the specifics again,and honestly,i cant blame them for wanting to do that) and so many people recently would rather turn their versions of the egos into ocs rather than keep them as egos on their own (which,again,i understand,as its a different sort of outlet to use your creativity flow,so all the more power to you,im not making this post to bash people turning the egos into ocs,itd be so fucking ridiculous)But I cant help but feel so distressed by all of this.Because before,people weren’t turning away like that en masse. Like many people,I also ask myself this question.What hapenned?Why is this happening? I’d rather see people saying they lost interest and move on,rather than leaving because they resent Sean,or JSE stuff in general.It would be such a better ending to this. And now,that im planning on thinking off art events to let people go wild with their creativity with the JSE egos,people are leaving. And..it hurts.And i regret so much not starting interacting more with people sooner. I feel guilty. I’m not planning on leaving or disconnecting myself form the septic egos myself anytime soon,but its just so painful to watch. I’ll never regret joining the fandom,because through this,I was able to meet some of my best friends. (You know who you are,and I love you guys so much) It just stings so much that,a place that used to be so warm,and welcoming,and full or fun stuff is turning up like this,because of multiple factors. And I have the bad(???) habit to try and reassure EVERYONE I come across being sad regarding this situation that “hey,maybe its just a bad moment!Maybe things are super shitty right now,but since things can’t stay the same forever,surelly that must mean there’s still hope,right?” Right? But people can only stay hopeful for so long.And who can blame them? Im just..so sad,and tired. And now that i’m kicking myself in the butt so I can actually do something with the egos,and that i’m seeing what’s happening with the fandom,its like I’m being told: “Aha!Too late!You waited for too long to get moving and do something with your ideas,and now everyone is leaving because of those bad stuff happening!Its your fault for not starting to draw or write seriously earlier!!Too bad!!You should have created when things were good and stable before!Sucker” Thats literally what i’m feeling right now,and its literally eating me away. I feel a bit bad making this post after I just talked to my friends about this,and they already gave me advice,like stop going in the jse tag,and other things,but.. ... I hate making people worry because of stuff I feel,but If i keep bottling things up,its just gonna explode at some point. Im sorry for posting this in the main tag,but ..I just..I just want for those who are unaware to.. be aware of what’s happening. I really,really want people to understand. Some people don’t understand why people are upset toward Sean.Or why they’re unhappy with the community. Its simply because people who brought up genuine concerns are sometimes being bashed by others who can’t stand seeing negavitity,despite being in their right to speak about those issues in a civil manner. People who speak up get unfairly placed in the same category of those “hateful tea blogs” who treat people who still have hope in Sean/are still in the fandom as the literal devil. (and other stuff,but Im too done to talk about these blogs in depths) For a fandom that was so accepting,encouraging,and welcoming?It feels bad to see so what’s happening.I feel bad. I feel even more bad when i remember that one person,who was such a sweetheart,and so creative with the egos.What would she think of this situation if she were still here? Would she have stayed regardless?Would have she turned her versions of the egos into ocs?Would she have resented Sean and left completely?Or would she have made some uplifting and hopeful posts? I dont know.I’ll never know. i miss her. I miss the old times. ... So please..We can’t rely on jack to make everything all better in the community,it seems.So.. Please. Let people who are worried speak up in peace.Don’t put them in the same basket as those who shit on jse fans and put down sean just for the sake of putting him down. Let them speak. And please,don’t pull the “If you dont like Sean anymore than fucking leave/stop watching him if you dont like the content” when they’re literally calmly saying “Hey i dont like [x] thing Sean did recently.I’d like for him to adress this tbh!” This. This would be the first step toward a better future for the community,if you stopped doing this. Please stop driving nice people away from the fandom by doing this. Please. I want 2020 to be a good year. People should be allowed to criticize things Sean does respectfully.it does not equal hate automatically. ..This is starting to be long. So i’ll just end by saying..For those who wish to stay regardless of this amdness..Don’t hesiate to send me asks okay?..I want to keep enjoying the egos.And seeing people’s creations.I will always give feedback and reblog if i see an edit,fic,art,etc,that i like. I will get that prompt list done.I swear.In the meantime..Stay safe,keep creating and..
Be civil.