Competition Update!
NYC Midnight Flash Fiction competition update
I got my rankings. All I know is that I did not place in the top 15 of 30 in my grouping.
I’m a little bummed, but I have to admit I wasn’t expecting to place. This is my first time attempting a 1000 work fiction competition.
I also got my feedback... and I’m a little torn on how to take one of the judges’ answers. I think part of it is that I don’t hear their voice, I hear my mother’s and that’s not cool. It comes across harsh and I need a voice to put to these so that I can figure out how to use the crit to my benefit.
I’m gonna drop my thoughts underneath each piece of feedback.
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY -
{1845} I loved the personal nature of your story, and the way it was told with an intimate storytelling sort of vibe. The ending was a nice touch as well. Nice job with that!
Yes. I worked so hard on that vibe. I was trying to make it come across as an elderly gentleman telling the story to his adult grandkids. I’m so glad that the storytelling idea came across.
{1960} The first half is so charming and feels honest. The language is natural and conversational. A grandfather is believably sitting with their grandchild, offering this tale. An almost campfire retelling.
Again, YAY!
{1598} The narrator's voice is strong and casual the way the voice of someone telling a story in person would be. The details provided paint vivid scenes. The tale is unconventional and unpredictable.
I researched for a few hours during the writing of this story. I wanted it to be rich and easy to imagine. I also hope to eventually go to Glastonbury music festival, and I like reading about the history of festivals. I went for unpredictable, and it worked. I wasn’t sure what I was doing at first and I edited this story so many times. The first time it was a mom telling her adult daughter a story that her grandpa used to tell. But it took up too many words to introduce the story of mom, the daughter, and then the grandpa’s story. So I cut out the middlewomen and went with Grandpa telling the story to his adult grandkids. That was huge because I deleted half of my story and started from the middle. I am so glad the narrator’s voice came across strong, I was worried that I wasn’t doing that as well as I had hoped.
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK -
{1845} I would love to see more of a range in the emotions experienced by your protagonist, especially when the strange occurrences first start taking place. For some reason, it often came across as if he was calm, even when the craziest things were happening. Also, it felt a bit strange that a grandpa would be sharing information about his erection to his grandchildren. But if you can just tweak and adjust those small details, you should definitely be able to bring your story to another level!
Super helpful, and I struggled with this quite a bit. I didn’t want him to seem panicked, because I don’t think everyone reacts exactly the same. But I didn’t want him to be emotionless either, so I had a real struggle trying to decide what tone to take with it.
{1960} The second half takes such a left turn. The kissing begins as playful and silly, but is treading somewhere into lewd. The physical activity doesn't seem to have a means to an end. Whats the payoff? Sexual assault is already a touchy subject, but in a comedy sometimes you can get away with it still- so why was there nothing more to this? There was an attack and then it ended. it just fell so flat from a strong set-up.
Oh gosh. This is the one I hear as my mother’s voice. I read it and balked. Did they want more lewd? less lewd? I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to lewd! I was torn as to how far to take the ghost gropes, and I was running out of words. I have never written so much story in so few words before. I felt like I wrapped it up decently considering. I think they were either expecting an assault or maybe something else. I’m not sure. Honestly, I need to re-read the story, I haven’t looked at it since submitting it. I’m debating cleaning it up and expanding it. Who knows.
{1598} In some cultures this would not be the kind of tale a person would tell a grandchild. Consider changing the last line, so it no t a grandfather recounting a story to a grandchild.
My fault, I didn’t clarify that these were adults being spoken to. I had a lot of tweaks that I knew I could make and didn’t have time to really attack. Deadlines come up fast in 48 hour competitions. O_O
To be fair to myself, I entered this contest less than a week before it started with NO practice or preparation for writing in over ten years. I’ve barely touched any writing and have been lax on reading for a long time now, due to the stresses of everyday life, homeschooling my kids, illnesses, my art and jewelry creation, etc.
I literally saw this, hemmed and hawed about whether or not I should enter, and then spent the money and entered.
It’s like throwing someone who barely knows how to swim into ocean and saying, “good luck!”
