✉ @judgemes said: nobody listens to what they don't want to hear. / for haruka
"You're - you're so mean, Warden-san..." Haruka sniffles a bit, eyes focused on the table between them rather than the guard themself as he gnaws his fingernails nervously, specks of red springing up on the occasion that he bit too hard.
He doesn't understand... Why did this always happen? The first woman he'd called "mother" had ignored his very existence, and now Muu, who he thought had been his real mother, was pulling away from him too... He was quickly running out of options here. If that woman wasn't his real mother and neither was Muu, who could it be? Was there anyone left that hadn't abandoned him yet?
And then, he felt like he'd had an epiphany - maybe he hadn't been wrong before when he thought that maybe the warden was his real mother. After all, even though they had been harsh with him sometimes, they still looked at him, didn't they? Even if they didn't forgive him, they still talked to him, asked him questions, still met his gaze, despite how... Unkempt he was these days, after refusing to leave his room for days on end and refusing to let Shidou change his bandages often enough... Was it possible that the answer had been right in front of him all along?
But Es had completely rejected the notion when he brought it up, and now he felt like he was at a total loss. He needed something to latch onto, but every time he tried, it seemed like it slipped right through his fingers... It was becoming harder and harder to contain his frustration- his agony at feeling so alone again. "If i-it's not you, then... Who is it?! Do I n-not have a mother? Am I ju-just that different from everyone...? Isn't every human su-supposed to have a mother? Why isn't there a single person I-I can belong to-?! Am I not human too, Warden-san?! Make me understand-!"
