ministry of doubt

[undercoverxs]

(( hey!! hi!! checking in.

idk how many of you are still around, but since my dash has been suuuper dead, I haven't been motivated to do much here.

That doesn't mean I'm gone tho! I'm still rping es over here actually! so if anyone misses me + es, absolutely come play with us there!!

I'd love to return here if the milgram rpc sees some kind of miraculous revival, but for now here's a lifeline <3 ilyguys

[undercoverxs]

[undercoverxs]

[wouldhope]

He can tell they're growing agitated with him by their firm response, and he shrinks back a little, furrowing his brows and frowning. He didn't get it... He didn't get why they got so irritated with him. Isn't it a good thing that he liked Milgram? And why was it so bad that he wanted to stay? His lips start to twitch into the beginnings of a smile again, though, when he notices how they move their hand. He's not very observant, but he's become well-acquainted with the signs of impending violence. His mother - or, should he say, the woman who claimed to be his mother for so many years - did the same thing sometimes. It makes him perk up, just a little.

"I don't understand why not... m-maybe there are more prisoners coming, then..." He mutters, more to himself than to Es, lifting his fingers to his mouth absentmindedly to bite his nails nervously. "Then... i-if I can't stay here... Can I - can I at least go wherever Muu-san goes? I don't w-want to be away from my mother again... Th-that would just be mean, Warden-san..."

[undercoverxs]

... That's right, that 'something irate' in their stomach- His eyes really did light up just now, didn't they?

It's really all they have to not muse their disgust out loud. A grumble, a slap, a meager 'shut up', anything- But the kind of person Haruka is, it's a fine line between 'getting the point across', and fueling that.. 'need' of his. 'Need'... Right. But playing that catch-22 game of his was something they really didn't want to do.

A sigh rolls out, it has to, but they keep it as light as they can, and pick out the one thing he says that's actually of interest. "More prisoners..?" -- ... Was that possible? As if the 10 here wasn't headache enough... After this, would they have to do the same thing with a different group..?

Awful as it was, the thought didn't irk them near as much as that other stuff he was saying.

[ In the first place, Muu isn't your mother ] - following which, they'll hear whines that try to justify the odd line of thought.

[ In the second place, what happens to you both depends on how your trials end. ] - following which, he'll go on about begging them to forgive Muu, and probably himself too.

In this game, all that's left is, "Right. Maybe I'm mean." Though, it's a little bitter, the taste on their tongue.. Hm. "-- But in the end, it's Milgram that decides what to do with you guys, not me."

[mahiru-shiina-006]

“Es-Kun~? Are you feeling okay…?”

Mahiru waddles up to Es, looking at them with concerning, motherly eyes.

[undercoverxs]

"O..." "Of course I am--"

Words that fall out quickly, harshly. It's helpful- her voice- to ground them a little, but their eyes keep firmly away from that gentle expression of hers.

That's right. They're fine.

"M-Mahiru... Thanks, but go back to the other prisoners."

[undercoverxs]

[wouldhope]

☆ @undercoverxs / continued.

A crooked smile splits across Haruka's face at the question, enthusiastically nodding - "Yes! E-even if I'm being judged... I really like i-it here, heheh..." He can't help the quiet giggle that escapes him, his attitude much more relaxed than it was before - not very befitting of a prisoner, but he doesn't care. It might be a prison, but he was happier here than he'd been in years. He had everything he needed, and he got to talk to people every day... What more could he ask for?

"Whatever happens, I really... h-hope I can stay here for a long time, with Muu-san and the others..." He hums, before finally meeting the warden's gaze, tilting his head to the side slightly like a confused dog. "I-I know you won't say anything about... What's going t-to happen to us after all the trials, but... Do you - do you think it's possible for me to stay in Milgram forever...?"

[undercoverxs]

Naturally... Only naturally, its confirmed with only a few lines of speech.

Talking to you, Haruka Sakurai, is a headache.

They hold a groan in the back of their throat, but it's a minor veil over the bitterness on their tongue -- "No. Absolutely not."

Their hand is already itching to slap him, again. They flex it, and try to shake some of it off their fingers.

"After the trials end..." Well, after the trials end-- He's right about one thing. Their gaze sways briefly, but pull back to him quickly, assured in a different sentence. "I told you already. It's a three-trial system. That's all that's going to happen."

[undercoverxs]

"Uhn... hahh..."

[undercoverxs]

[xkzy8]

amane and shidou am I right

[xkzy8]

they're 15 everybody did you hear es is 15 wow so cool and grown up woW WOW

[undercoverxs]

[undercoverxs]

@hachimutsu : "are  you  still  muttering ?" one more

"Huh-? Am I?"

They knew they would start thinking aloud sometimes, but... muttering? Did they do that?

Or... Are you just picking on them, right now?

"Even if I was... It's not like there's a problem with it, is there?"

[undercoverxs]

[undercoverxs]

@ainandesuyo : ‘ when was the last time you slept? ’ hi im back again with big sis mahiru

"Mahiru... That's not something for you to be concerned with."

Striking them, in some kind of way- The truth of it sat under their eyelids, but... It'd slipped their mind, that that kind of thing was noticeable. You saw it? It makes sense with retrospect, but..

That kind of ' care' (?) in her tone was... refreshing, in a way that they weren't prepared for, at that moment.

They didn't want to answer, because [ they ] were the guard, and [ you ] were the prisoners. But looking over her, her state, her eyes: Something ... else, came into place.

They didn't want to answer, because... Would the truth upset you..?

Funny, they're the one feeling a little bit guilty right now...

[undercoverxs]

oh no … oh , that’s not good .

( 'Don’t look away from your own actions by playing pretend...' that’s my line. Warden-san, it’s not just you; it’s all of you. You all said you wouldn’t forgive us. )

( Warden-san, you were the one who said “we. ”)

The water that runs over their hand is felt by ten fingers.

In soap, and water, and submerging as such... Two hands. One person.

One person. And yet, counting each finger... These slips of the tongue are getting more-

It's not... important. It's not what's important. What Amane was talking about, her doctrine... 'We', in the sense of pretending, or brainwashing.

('We', in the sense of pretending.. is that what I'm doing? No, it's a different situation. I say it because... because...)

-No, even so, she's always aware of herself, so the actions she took... In her case, it's that sort of situation, unlike Mikoto, who-

------ " . o//h. . ?no ---- 's -! n0t g.G.. . "

Who-!?

--

...

Such a simple mistake... as forgetting to turn off the water faucet; It was ' you ' who caught that.

It's shut off now, but the water had still spilled around their boots. 'Them', who's heart-rate became fast enough to clog their throat, and whose eyes, wide, stare at--

"... Ah..."

"You don't know about.. fixing drains... Do you?"

[undercoverxs]

it’s  not  two  of  us ,  it’s  all  of  us . (lets go existential agony)

... A foot slides back.

「 All of us. 」

-- These words that tie a knot in their stomach... fell out of their own mouth?

In a way, it almost seemed natural. 'We.' 'Us.' More than once, things like that came absentmindedly to their tongue, only caught by a prisoner's wandering remark. This feeling, this natural feeling--

To be scared of the breath drawn into your own lungs... In a way, a terrifying way, It feels as absurd as that.

It's just-

They never expected to see their chest inflate.

"Y..." - Twice as hard. That breath, it became twice as hard to take in, push out. The mirror that didn't lift its hand the same way, didn't bend on their cue- A hallucination? Maybe. - It became subject to such an othering word as "YOU-", which itself brought their skull to pound.

'( Us -)' '( We- )' '( All of us- )'

"What do you... mean by that?"

Why does it feel like they already knew?