headcanon questions. || @jukenborn
[ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ?
Herself. She's wracked her brain for ways that she could improve herself and become what her ideal is, but time and time again she's overestimated herself or held someone else back. She doesn't necessarily harbor any self-resentment, but she is hard on herself because of those experiences. This leads into her drive for more, better, reach farther. Kikoru believes her life is her own path to forge, so she has a pretty narrow scope on how she views responsibility.
[ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ?
As if you couldn't predict this one. She expresses herself with quality time. She responds best to words of affirmation.
[ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ?
Regret: Asking so much of her mom when Hikari was alive.
Not regret: Trusting Kafka, even if deliberated on that decision a lot.
[ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ?
Depends on what. Does she want to belong as 'one in crowd?' Absolutely not. She wants to stand out, and she feels like she does. Does she feel like she belongs in First Division? Yes and no. She feels like she has to prove her worth there, but that's a reassuring and needed challenge. She doesn't quite feel like she meets the standard of her family name though.
She has a good group of friends though. She misses her lady crew at the Third Division.
[ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ?
[ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ?
Kikoru isn't someone who would appreciate pretty little lies. If it isn't genuine, she doesn't want to hear it. But a simple, you did well, goes a long way with her.
[ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ?
That in whatever life is next ( i.e., afterlife, reincarnation, whatever ), her father is still distant or her parents don't recognize her.
[ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ?
All the people she's failed. Those who got hurt or died because she wasn't enough to protect / save them. Those officers who died in the fight with n.015 was a really big blow. Shinomiya 'When I'm on the battlefield, nobody dies' Kikoru could do absolutely nothing to help them despite how hard she'd worked up to that point. That moment was pretty traumatic for her.
[ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ?
The sobbing mess that she was after Isao died.
[ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ?
Bruh, she's lost too much already 😭 Losing any of her Captains ( re: Narumi, Hoshina, Mina, & we'll throw Hasegawa in there too ) would leave her feeling really hollow. But if she lost Kafka, I think that would be earth-shattering.
[ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ?
Being like Isao or Hikari as individuals. She's come to recognize that she's not like them. She's a combination of their various parts. She has Hikari's heart but Isao's bravado and temperament. She's learning to become her own person with their influences rather than box herself into their molds.
[ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ?
Yes, Kikoru believes everyone with a good heart is worthy of being loved 🥺 What that looks like varies in a lot of ways, and she wants to understand and experience those things. The real question is: with what time?
[ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ?
Her long-term goal is Captain of the First Division, but she's not in a rush to reach that point. She's rushing to be at Narumi's level so he can rest easy knowing the Division's handled if he lives long enough to retire or gets promoted. It would take some prodding to get her to admit to it, but she likes where she is. The team, her mentor, etc.
Her biggest issue is with Kafka. She wants to find a way to build his strength so he no longer needs to transform. Kikoru doubts he'll ever want to be cured since his strength is needed as kaiju, but she'd like to find a way for him to have his own normalcy. She wants him there to watch her grow. Maybe one day he'll walk her down the aisle.
She'd like to have the balance her parents did in their ability to fall in love, have a home, etc. But that's why she jumpstarted her way into the Defense Force early. Happily ever after's can come later.