Jules closed her eyes slowly, taking in the familiar red-black color before opening them just as slowly to stare blankly up at the ceiling. She slid her hands out from under the (baby blue) sheets to raise them above her head and examine them in the morning light. Well-used, with that warm peachy color and the ink stain on the side of her left hand. Her eyes traced the blue-grey veins to the pit of her elbow, taking in the way the shadows and highlights fell.
She could see again. It was magnificent.
As she sat up in bed, looking around the room in a still-dazed amazement, her eyes fell on the HoloCaster sitting lonely on the ground. That’s right, she had some messages, did she...?
--
((I'm ending the M!A early because it's turning Jules into a wreck and I really see no way to encourage interaction with her in this state. Plus I really, really want to get to these HoloCaster messages.))
Somewhere off to her side, Jules heard her HoloCaster go off, but made no move to check it. Instead, she remained where she was, with her head hidden under the covers and her eyes closed tight. She’d given up on the light returning; all she wanted at that moment was for whatever it was not to come.
A few minutes later, it went off again. Jules practically jumped out of her skin. Flailing one arm out to where she thought her nightstand was, she slammed it around until it finally landed on the familiar shape of the HoloCaster. She moved her thumb down the side until she located the ‘power’ button and pressed down hard, waiting for the comforting sound of it turning off. Then, just for extra security, she threw the device off to the side. There was something satisfying about the sound of it hitting hardwood floors.
As she had expected, the berry fields were barren, save for the weeds that had begun to sprout since winter ended. Standing at the entrance to what had once been ‘her field’, Jules sighed and watched Coralie run ahead to explore the new land. She was the only member of the team who had never been here before, and clearly didn’t understand the significance that kept Blazer, Loic, Nox, and Marcel from stepping past their trainer onto the near-hallowed grounds.
She tried not to make a spectacle of stepping through the gate, of petting the heads of the stone Pokémon that guarded it, of heading to the shed for tools. It was just another day at the berry fields, just like how it used to be.
Except without Jack.
“Alright...” Jules began as she began to pull tools out of the shed-a wheelbarrow, a spade, envelopes of seeds-and set them outside. “Nox, I want you pulling up those weeds and putting them in compost. Marcel, you need to start turning the soil. Blazer, Loic, you two start collecting all the dead berry branches and putting them in a pile by the gate. We’ll let Coralie do as she pleases, but if she wants to help out go ahead and let her. Let’s get this place cleaned up!”
It was good, hard work; the type Jules hadn’t done since she’d been traveling as a trainer. Perhaps she wasn’t in the best shape for it, but that just meant she had plenty of reason to enjoy a long soak later. If nothing else, it kept her mind off of Jack for a while. The Pokémon seemed to enjoy it too; because of his size and weight Jules hadn’t been able to let Marcel out in the apartment, and he reveled in the chance to play in the dirt and please his trainer. And Nox was practically dancing about as he worked on the weeds. Together, they all worked on the massive field under the warm sun for a few hours.
It wasn’t until Jules looked up from planting seeds, however, that Jules realized the Pokémon had gotten ambitious and cleaned the entire field-or, rather, both trainer’s respective fields. Suddenly remembering, the girl’s smile faltered and she slowly walked to the center, where a short fence once separated the two sections of land.
“Jack...” Jules took a seat on the ground a few feet short of where the fence once stood. What was she supposed to do now? Maybe put up a temporary fence until she could get a better one? Or would that be shutting him out forever?
Suddenly all the feelings poured back: the happy, the sad, the comforting, the lonely. All the times she had found little notes left on that fence for her, or met him here for picnics. Falling asleep with him under the berry trees after a day of work.
Meeting him here after a month of absence, only to learn he’d been in a coma.
Later, his face in the hospital when he got the news for the first time.
It all came back.
And Jules, Jules rested her hands on the warm ground, and cried. Her reaction caught the attention of her Pokémon, who hurried over to comfort her. But she seemed oblivious to their care, only crying harder.
It wasn’t the throbbing headache that woke Jules up, actually. It was the silence.
Her windows were closed, but a soft morning light filtered through the curtains. That meant she must be in the living room. Had she fallen asleep on the couch? Then her eyes fell on the nearly empty bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table, and she remembered.
‘…I don’t want to be in the way of what you want. And it’s obvious. It’s obvious by everything I hear… The little things I see… It just isn’t me...’
That’s right. She and Jack. She and Jack had...Because she...Oh Arcues how could she have been so foolish?! Burying her face in her hands, she sat up and placed her feet on the ground, only to immediately retract them when she heard a sharp crunching noise and felt a pain shoot up her leg. Jules swore under her breath and looked down at the floor.
Glass. A broken wine glass lay half-rolled under the couch, its shards spread out across the wood floor.
At least she hadn’t pressed down enough for them to puncture her skin. But no wonder her Pokémon were nowhere to be seen. Jules tried to force herself to get up, to pick up the glass, to do something, but with no luck. What was the point? She didn’t plan to go out today. She just wanted to be alone, and what better way than to surround herself with glass shards.
Because it wasn’t numb for her right now-the whole ordeal was still raw. It hurt, just like she had hurt Jack.
It was better this way.
So, curling her legs up to her chest, Jules laid back down on the couch and closed her eyes again, hoping that sleep would overtake her and her headache. Hoping that no one would bother her. Hoping that she could learn to be alone for awhile.
She had to learn to be alone. That was the only solution.
