BLOODY HANDS Julia Alexa - 2025
Listen to BLOODY HANDS on TIDAL
The sound is so deep and constant. I feel it inside me more than I hear it. Stomach dropping just listening to the introduction. And when the percussion comes in it’s so sharp I blink with every beat. Like a gunshot going off inside my head every time that beat is hit. She sings and it’s such a sad journey of self-doubt wrapped in jealousy and broken self-affirmations. Beginning with saying her sanity is buried in the graveyard to lay the tone for the rest of this journey. My obsessions consumed all my best parts. The self awareness to see how it’s spiralling but there is no stopping this. It’s started. And it ain’t gonna stop.
And the chorus lands with even more violent percussion and bassy synth threatening to tear me apart from the inside out. If I can’t have you, no one can. I’ll only leave with bloody hands. The only way this relationship can ever end is with a broken affirmation of if I can’t have you, no one can. And that means you have to end. And my hands will be dripping in thick, warm claret. My happiness depends all on your love. So I can’t ever let down my own guard. The co-dependency of needing another person's approval to feel any sense of validation.
So I try to be cautious, count my losses, I’m crazy, I need your help. A final desperate plea to be given a way out of this emotional spiral. If I hurt you, please just understand, it’s cause I don’t wanna be your friend. A warning of things to come wrapped in a voice so desperate for this to have any other conclusion but the scenario playing out in her head. But if I can’t have you, no one can. I’ll only leave with bloody hands.
