As you all may know, unless it’s a big show or on tour, The Dead Deads are still in the “carrying our own equipment” phase of our rock careers. And that’s OK. Not ashamed of it. But, it happens from time to time at the gig with our heavy-looking equipment that someone asks, “Hey, isn’t that heavy? Do you need some help?”
I’d like to share a few thoughts on this, both as a tip to those on the average-to-weak end of the spectrum (women or men) and to clear up the protocol and answer the heavy question in advance of the awkward offers and chivalry.
First, tips for the lifting-challenged: Don’t let the heavy stuff get you down. Be practical, but also don’t let this weigh too much on your equipment selection or other decisions. True, I cannot lift my bass cabinet on my own. It is a monster, as it should be. Many men can’t even pick up an Orange 4x10 Bass Cabinet on their own, and many others shouldn’t. It’s just not worth hurting yourself over. Be smart and enlist a friend or bandmate to help. Invest in or borrow tools like a moving dolly/handtruck.
On the other hand, unless you are under doctor’s orders not to lift a certain amount of weight, I recommend that you not delegate this task completely. Pitch in as much as you can so that when the day comes and it’s just you, you will be prepared to handle it. It doesn’t hurt to do a little bit of strength training (eg weights, cross-fit, or yoga) to make this task a little easier. While we can’t all be Julia Vins (pictured here), she’s proof that even women can put on a weight bearing physique to rival any man’s. Fitness will make you stronger in other ways, too.
Second, as mentioned, we get into some awkward moments where people offer to help carry our gear and then wonder aloud if we’ll be offended as feminists by the offer. By all means, if you are inclined to lend a hand, we will gladly accept! Thank you!! As long as you’re not condescending about it, it’s nice to spend the extra time with you. Just remember, we are loading this equipment 5 different times for every show, and only 2-3 of those times are others even present to help. We lugged everything to the venue and we’ll be lugging it back into our practice space all on our own. For every show there are actually 5-6 stages of loading: into cars, into venue, onto stage (depending on how the show is being run this may happen as we load into the venue initially), clear stage, out of venue, empty cars back home or back into practice space. One day we’ll be able to pay professionals to do this for us, but in the meantime, it’s totally worth the hassle for the opportunity to ROCK THE HELL OUT!! So, please don’t feel obligated to help us girls. We love you either way.
Carrying heavy stuff is just a part of being in a rock band, and we accomplish this as most of us do with most things in life: by helping each other. My cabinet is a 2-(hu)man job. I get one of the other Deads to help me load that. A lot of times it’s me and Betty helping with each others’ amps. Everyone pitches in with Billy’s drum stands, and we all take a merch tub or two. Two people get the backdrop. It’s not fun, but we get it done.
But here’s the cool thing. This carries over into helping each other with heavy emotional stuff in our lives. We pitch in when one is down and we do our bit to lift each other up. We ask others for help or advice. We are not alone, and neither are you.
As a band, we help each other bear a load that includes:
5 full-cases of self-doubt,
and multiple mounds of many momentary moods.
Also, we help each other lug around an uncountable number of hopes and dreams, which weigh-in way heavier than any amp or speaker cabinet ever could.
It’s good to have help with the heavy things.