Why were you constantly sneezing lately? It wasn’t spring, nor did you suffer greatly from pollen anyway. At least that would make more sense for your sudden affliction. Aside from the moment when it happened, you didn’t feel unwell at all. It was seriously confusing you.
“Bless you,” a honeyed voice announced, and you glanced up to look at the desk adjacent to yours. Junho smiled but didn’t lift his gaze away from his task.
“You’ll grow tired of saying that, you know,” you grumbled, and Junho chuckled, right when another sneeze built up within you.
You managed to suppress it for all of two minutes. Three sneezes followed, as did Junho’s well wishes triple-fold.
You grew irritated and stood up. “Mind if I head out and get something to take for this?”
“Go on. I can’t imagine it’s easy to focus on work right now,” he sympathised, and you nodded, grabbing your bag, and you stepped outside.
Five minutes later, and you felt completely fine. By the time you reached the nearest pharmacy, you hadn’t sneezed once. Explaining your issue to the pharmacist, they prescribed you something to help ease the sneezing but insisted you looked around the workplace for what you were allergic to.
“Of course, why didn’t I think of that?” you murmured as you clambered back up the stairs into your department, smiling at a couple of workers as you went by.
It happened as soon as Junho looked up at your arrival. “Did they—you’re still sneezing.”
“It’s something in this area,” you concluded, explaining to Junho how you hadn’t sneezed once when you were gone.
“Want me to help you look?” he offered, and you nodded, your search coming up fruitless. Everything around you was normal office supplies, and no one had flowers in the area – not that you were affected by them in the first place.
“It’s maddening!” you exclaimed as you sneezed again, and Junho ran a hand through his hair.
“Just what is it?” he wondered, scanning the area again.
The next day, you weren’t sneezing every few minutes. By lunchtime, you were euphoric. You had not only caught up on your work from the day before, but you were also processing files you set aside for later in the week.
“My allergies!” you stated, pumping your fist into the air. “They have cleared!”
“Good for you, Y/N,” your boss mentioned, her attention falling to the empty chair nearby. “Junho not in today?”
“Huh. That’s what’s missing,” you said and then gasped, covering your mouth. “I can’t be…”
Shaking her head at your nonsense, your boss returned to her office as you stared at Junho’s empty spot for a moment. You then giggled. “No way. That would be ludicrous to be allergic to a person, right?”
You didn’t even need to mindfully look out for the differences. As soon as Junho greeted you, you replied with a sneeze. And even if you took your medicine, you were still struggling by the end of the workday.
Since Junho worked from two departments in the building, he was missing the next day from his desk. You were back to being productive and sniffle-free.
By Friday morning, you were convinced he was the cause.
“That sneezing of yours—”
“Don’t find me weird for this, but have you changed cologne or something recently? Showering in a new body wash by chance? New washing powder? Something different?” you prattled off, and Junho eyed you warily. “I’m not trying to pry, I promise. But I think it’s you.”
“Me? What?” he asked, his gaze narrowing. “It can’t be me, Y/N. You can’t be allergic to someone.”
“Hear me out.”
“I don’t want to.”
“But it makes sense! When you’re not here, I’m fine. The moment you smile that beautiful dimpled smile of yours, I’m returning to Sneezeville immediately!”
Junho stared at you for a moment before bursting into laughter. “That’s your proof?”
“Well, what more can I say? My allergy is you.”
Leaning towards you, Junho smirked. “Have you thought it might not be an allergy you’re dealing with but feelings instead?”
“What? That makes—”
“My adorable dimpled smile,” he repeated, and you groaned with embarrassment. “Do my eyes make you react too? What about my voice? Face it. Sounds to me that you might like me.”
“Don’t be so rash. It’s probably a change you’ve made, and I’m sensitive to it.”
Junho stared at you. “So, you don’t like me? Not even a little?”
Just thinking about it made you sneeze. Junho laughed heartily. “Wait! That’s not— it can’t be! I mean— Junho!”
Quickly taking you by the hand, Junho strode down to the boardroom, pulling you inside before shutting the door. He then looked down at you, his smile warm and inviting.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you managed to say before sneezing again.
“Bless you,” he voiced, and you rolled your eyes. Junho grinned. “Maybe I have the cure.”
“What’s that? Just change whatever it is that you’ve—”
He cut you off with a kiss, slow and lingering. Blinking several times before closing your eyes, you focused on the embrace, melting further into it than you expected to.
Oh.
You definitely felt something for him now.
Pulling away, Junho searched your expression curiously. “Are you still allergic to me, Y/N?”
You felt no sneeze on the horizon. However, reaching out for the collar of his shirt, you shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe we should do that again just to make sure I’m fully cured.”
Summary: Junho is hiding something and only you can uncover it.
Also known as Junho’s everyday life as a robot…or is he really?
The evening breeze is almost nipping but the girl obliges Junho when he asks, anyway. She steps outside, hugging her coat to herself, miserably failing to keep the cold away. So, she hugs her coat closer, as if it can keep the cold away.
Junho stands unbothered by the cold outside. He’s leaning over the banister, looking over his shoulder as he glances at the girl. She isn’t someone who romanticizes things but in that exact moment, she thinks, the scene looks exactly like a scene from a movie of heartaches. Junho turns around and faces her completely. He towers over her even at a distance and the girl thinks, somehow, in the two weeks that has passed, Junho has grown even more.
She suddenly feels insignificant. Smaller.
So, when she tries to speak, her voice wavers, unsure, but thankfully, she finally manages to croak out a word. "Hey..."
"Are you cold?" Junho asks, his voice steady and firm, like how she remembers it to be.
The girl shakes her head and smiles. "No. I'm fine."
The look on Junho’s face says he doesn't think so because in that exact moment, the wind picks up and she shivers. The girl tries to compose herself, but Junho is quick to take off his scarf and immediately wrap it around her in a surprisingly gentle way.
They walk silently after that, taking in the scenery. The girl lives in the less populated part of the city and in that time, nobody else is walking in the streets. It’s just them and the cold December air. The breeze hits them again — more gently this time — but still not less algid and the girl shivers once more, digging her hands in her pockets.
"What are you doing here, Junho?"
She glances at him in passing and she sees him hold his breath. They arrive at a bus stop and Junho stops walking to face her.
“I’m...not sure,” he whispers.
This stirs up several emotions inside her, frustration being the most notable, but as she meets Junho’s own conflicted eyes, her frustration melts. He runs his hand through his hair. The frown on his face deepens and he shifts his gaze to his feet.
The girl realizes just then, that behind his easy going persona when he’s with her, Junho isn’t one to express his feelings as easily as he would like to. So, she sits on the bench and pats the space beside her for him to sit on.
“Why are you crying?” she asks when he sits next to her.
Junho places a hand on his cheek. “I don’t—“
“Stop staying you don’t know. You do know, Junho. You just have to say it. Come on, just say it.”
The tone that she has used doesn’t contain the frustration the she thinks it will and in one courageous second, she hopes to hold his hand to communicate that she’s no longer mad — even when her heart gyrates against her ribcage like a jackhammer because the last time they have spoken like this, it hasn’t ended as well as she hoped it would.
But Junho surprises her even more, because he leans his head on her shoulder and takes her hand into his own. “I’m so tired, YN. So tired.”
The girl doesn’t respond right away. This is vulnerable Junho right here and in the course of almost five months, this is the first time she’s witnessing him like this. She’s afraid of breaking the spell. So, instead of speaking, she squeezes his hand a little to let him know he can talk to her.
“I’ve been my father’s child before I was anything else. I grew up understanding that I had to do everything he says. So, I settled myself in the life that he’s planned out for me even when I clearly wanted something else for myself. A year before I met you, I’ve been sneaking out to play in that club as a sort of small rebellion against him. Seungyoun hyung was the one who got me in there.”
The girl shifts beside him at the mention of the name. So, Junho pulls her closer to him and continues to talk.
“Seungyoun hyung and I have known each other since we were kids because our dads are business partners. We’re not really friends but we’re well-acquainted. The night of the showcase, his brother, who was the representative their company sent, approached me for your song. Seungwoo hyung and Seungyoun hyung argued with him since he wouldn’t stop pestering me when I told him the song isn’t for sale.”
She feels him shiver next to her and despite the fact that her ear is really close to his mouth, his voice seems to grow softer and softer as he speaks. He pulls her hand to his chest as if she would run away from him. And the girl thinks it’s silly, but still, she doesn’t say a thing.
“I threw the first punch, YN. I gave in to Seungyoun hyung’s brother and tried to negotiate the deal for you. When Seungyoun hyung found out about it, he got mad and called me a coward. Then, I punched him. It was ugly and I have no excuses, but he’s still looking out for me even now.”
Junho sits up straight and gently lets go of the girl’s hand. She hasn’t noticed it earlier, but as her eyes catch a glimpse of his phone, she sees he’s exchanged text messages with someone she isn’t able to find out. Now, her hand suddenly feels empty and she immediately misses the warmth that he’s given her for the past half an hour. An instinct to reach out for him washes over her but when he stands and stares down at her with an expression that she cannot understand, the visit suddenly feels like a goodbye.
She stands up in panic as a car stops right in front of them. “Junho—” she starts, finally finding her voice.
“I know you’re going away soon, YN,“ he says, now back to his calm and collected state.
Junho steps closer to her and pulls her into an embrace. She buries her head into his chest and desperately wills her heart to stop pumping so fast, but her heart has a mind of its own and her mind can’t bend it to her will. So, she settles for the security that Junho’s arms provide.
“Is this okay?“ he asks, his voice reverberating from his chest.
The girl looks up, flush and warm. “Yes.”
He lets go of her and slowly tucks a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, his hand finally resting just a little on the side of her chin. She senses that he’s making her look up but in her nervousness, she refuses to lift her face. Her heartbeat thunders in her chest, threatening to burst out. In the back of her proud mind, she hopes that he doesn’t notice how flushed she is right now.
The impatience has probably gotten into Junho now, because he tilts her chin up so that she’s finally looking at him. She is slammed by the onslaught of emotions in his eyes and she tries to look away. But when Junho is determined, he is determined. So, he’s gotten her in a gentle but firm grip. She sees him glance down towards her lips and before she is able to speak or do anything else, he presses his lips on hers in a chaste kiss. His hand trails down her jaw and she feels herself melting into him.
Then, just like that, it was over.
A/N: Sorry it’s an hour late! I got a little carried away sksksks
I feel like when you first befriended Junho you thought he was quiet and shy because he didn’t talk much and often had a blank look on his face
BUT BOY WERE YOU WRONG
This guy is the most talkative and clingy friend you have ever had
He will call you at 3am and talk for hours until you fall asleep on the phone or your battery runs out
When you are together he doesn’t leave your side
He’s like a lost puppy, especially when the two of you are in public
I think he is shy around people he doesn’t know, so when the two of you go out somewhere, he will stick to you like glue
SOOOOO CLINGY
He will come behind you and put his chin on you shoulder and waddle behind you if you try to walk away
Hooks his arm with yours and is constantly leaning on you like you are a cane or something
Asks you to give him piggy backs all the time as if he is some giant child or something…. oh wait, he is
Also such a little twerp
Randomly hits you for no reason, just to get your attention
Will sneak up behind you, scare you, and run away
But even though he is super clingy and acts like a child, he is such a good friend
If he notices that you had a bad day, he will leave you a snack with a note saying that he hopes you feel better
Even though he is really talkative, if you need someone to listen, he will be there
And he is the best listener ever
He doesn’t try to give you advice unless you ask, and is always sure to validate your feelings
I feel like at some point early on in your friendship he probably had a crush on you
He went from really talkative and touchy, to super shy and reserved around you
Every time you tried to talk to him he would get red and make some excuse as to why he had to leave
For a while you thought he didn’t want to be your friend anymore and left him a really long voicemail crying and asking what you did wrong
And then, like 20 minutes later, he is at your door, his eyes red and just gives you the biggest hug
Assures you that you are his bestest friend ever and he just has a lot on his mind
Decides that it is safer just to have you as a friend because he doesn’t want to hurt you
Only admits to this years later and you give him such a hard time for it
You tell him how sad you were and you wish he had just told you the truth
He gets red in the eyes cause he’s guilty and now you feel really bad and give him a big hug saying that it wasn’t that bad, saying you were on your period that day
He immediately jerks away disgusted cause this boy is just a big child
I could also picture him trying to defend you from some drunk rude guy
Like at the time he would look really cold and angry when he tell the guy to F off, but afterwards he is shaking and holding onto you cause he was actually terrified
Overall such a caring friend even though he can be a little twerp
Summary: Junho is hiding something and only you can uncover it.
Also known as Junho’s everyday life as a robot…or is he really?
“Good evening, gentlemen. This is your Captain, Lee Hangyul, speaking. Welcome onboard Flight X1 bound to YN.”
Few minutes ago, Junho has been dragged out of his dorm room and shoved into a black van parked outside the building where the others were already waiting inside.
Now, he’s seated between Hyeongjun and Seungwoo as Hangyul continues to recite his ridiculous pseudo-airplane captain announcement.
“Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones and fasten your seatbelt. Thank you for choosing Quantum Airlines. Enjoy your flight.”
Seungwoo slides the door closed and runs his hand across his face exhaustedly. “Just drive, Gyul.”
“What are you doing?” Junho asks when the van easily passes the South Gate, the guard of which probably has already been bribed by the other boys in advance.
Dongpyo, who’s seated at the very back with Minhee and Eunsang, makes an annoyed sound. “What does it look like we’re doing?”
“Kidnapping me?” Junho quips.
“No.” It‘s Wooseok, sitting behind their row, who answers. “We’re helping you.”
Junho feels trapped and cornered. So, he ponders, if his friends think they’re helping him with anything, they’re dead wrong, because it doesn’t feel like it at all.
The car jolts a little and Junho’s stomach makes an uncomfortable churn. “Where are we going, anyway?”
“Didn’t you listen to Hangyul earlier? We’re going to see YN at the airport,” Hyeongjun tells him.
Junho’s chest constricts at the mention of her name. She’s been sending him messages after that night at the bus stop but he hasn’t responded to any of them. That’s three days ago. This morning, just as he wakes up, she sends him another text, one that Junho is prepared to ignore again until he reads it.
She’s leaving.
He remembers himself thinking that he’s never going to see her again and that he’s fine with that. He needs to be fine with that, because if he can’t, he doesn’t know how much pain he can still handle.
“Hey, guys,” Eunsang yells from the far back, breaking Junho’s reverie.
When nobody answers, he continues, holding up his phone to his face. “Dohyon says they’re already at the airport but since his sister wants donuts, they’re going to buy some first before she goes into immigration.”
Seungyoun, who’s been silent all drive long, sits up in panic. “How long till we get there, Gyul?”
“I’m not sure but we’re really really near the airport now,” Hangyul replies.
And as if for emphasis, they hear the sound of a plane taking off. Underneath the noise, Hangyul’s phone rings. He tosses it over to Yohan who immediately answers without even looking at the caller ID.
Dohyon’s deep voice speaks in a whisper when the call connects. “Yo, Lee Hangyul, where ya at? My sister already has her donuts. You said you’d be here!”
Yohan brings the phone closer so Hangyul can speak over the phone. “We’ll be there in time! Just distract her a little. Like maybe cry or something.”
Junho watches the cars outside. They’re almost at the drop off area now. But with the speed that they’re going, he’s not sure whether to believe they’ll be able to make it on time or not. He hears Dohyon on the phone tell Hangyul to hurry the fuck up or else they’ll miss her completely and Junho decides that he doesn’t believe they’ll make it. So, before Dohyon hangs up, he grabs the phone himself.
“Dohyon, where exactly are you?”
“Who the f—Lee Hangyul, is this the dumb boy who—“
Junho cuts him off instantly. “Please, just answer me. Where exactly are you?”
He hears Dohyon sigh on the other side and for a second Junho thinks he would not answer but then he suddenly gives him the instructions before ending the call with a ‘good luck’.
Junho doesn’t bother explaining. They probably have understood him anyway since Hangyul does a full stop and Seungwoo, who is sitting next to the door, quickly opens it.
“Thanks,” Junho breathes and then he leaps off the van.
His feet don’t land on the pavement as gracefully as he has imagined but he doesn’t care. Yohan yells at him to be careful and he sends him a thumbs up before immediately dashing away.
Dohyon’s mom gives the girl a tight hug before pulling away and brushing the hair from her face. She lovingly pats down the girl’s hair with a tight smile, like any moment now, she will suddenly burst to tears.
The girl doesn’t understand this woman’s affection towards her. After all, she’s not even her real mom. Still, she listens to what her father’s wife tells her and nods when she’s asked.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving us again. You haven’t even been here for a year, YN,” the woman says, almost teary-eyed.
She smiles at the lady and pats her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Auntie. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Dohyon moves closer to her when his mom finally lets go and he gives her a long hug, longer than she expects and for a while, she thinks he’s probably stalling her, which he most likely is, but she lets him, anyway. She doesn’t plan on waiting for too long, though, because the moment Dohyon lets her go, she grabs her bags and turns straight to the departure gates.
She sees the panic in Dohyon’s eyes when she walks away and she hesitates a little. Because she knows, even when she’s promised Dohyon’s mom that she will be back before she knows it, she will also take her time away healing and possibly forgetting all the pain that she’s leaving behind. This could be the last time she’ll see them in a long while.
“Noona,” Dohyon calls, but he says it so softly, like a plea.
The girl looks at her watch. She doesn’t need to be in the immigration for at least an hour and a half. She’s got time but somehow, she doesn’t want to stay. There’s a nervousness that surrounds her when Dohyon reaches for her hand and she gives in.
“Stay a little longer, please, noona,” her little-not-so-little brother says.
She smiles. Her brother has never been this affectionate towards her their entire lives. She knows what’s up. Yet, she stays a little bit more, if only to accede to his request.
—
Junho is dripping in sweat. He has already asked a couple of people to point him to the departure area and still, he cannot get the instructions right. Ha has been running for almost fifteen minutes now and he does not know how long he can last until he loses the strength and will to look for the girl.
The last person he has asked for directions is a security guard who has given very straightforward instructions how to get there. He takes a moment to catch his breath and read the overhead signs. Nothing says ‘Departure Area’ like the guard has told him. Feeling defeated, he almost cries as he slumps down the pavement.
It’s over.
He will never be able to see her again.
He will never be able to talk to her again.
He will never be able to hear her sing again.
He will never be able to tell her he loves her.
At the last thought, he almost breaks down. What they say is true after all, Junho realizes. People will never realize how important someone is until they are gone.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Junho sniffles and waves off the stranger who is kind enough to ask. “I’m fine. Thank you.”
“Are you sure, Junho? You don’t look fine to me.”
He whips around so fast, he almost blacks out. And there she stands, in thick black hoodie and jeans, giving him a small smile as he takes in her features. Besides the tiny smile on her lips, the rest of her expression is unreadable. Junho thinks he is hallucinating the girl and the world is playing tricks on him for all the terrible things he has put her through.
He probably deserves this, too, he surmises.
So, instead of actually speaking, he stares at his hallucination of her as he stands up. She looks too real to be actually there. Soft, wispy hair and red lipstick. Junho smirks a little since this hallucination of her is just as good as the real deal.
“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”
And just like that, the spell is broken. Junho realizes the girl is actually in front of him. She’s not a hallucination after all.
"YN..."
“What are you doing here, Junho?”
He scrambles for something to say. His legs are so tired they’re almost giving in again, but he feels like he needs to get it all out. Otherwise, it will consume him or the both of them. He does not know which is worse, not being able to tell her he loves her, or being able to but get rejected. Right now, though, he no longer cares.
He wants her to know.
“Junho,” she starts, “I need to go in a few minutes.”
“I know, I know,” he says, wiping his hand over his face. “I just need you to hear this, YN. Please, just this one time.”
Her eyebrows shoot up a little but she does not say a thing. Junho does not waste time, too. His desperation has overcome him and he is afraid if he does not say it now, he is not going to be able to say it ever.
“That night when I went to your room to apologize about the song, you asked me why can’t I be just me. To be honest, I’m still unsure how to answer that even now. But, YN, if there’s anything that I’m sure of at this moment, that is every time that I was with you, I was real.”
Junho meets the girl’s eyes and goes over to her. In the background, an announcer calls for the passengers of a certain flight. Feeling the urgency, he reaches out for her hand and holds it in both of his own. Her placid expression wavers a little, but she still does not speak.
“I can atone for all the things I’ve put you through and it would still not be enough. I just wanted to tell you I’m so sorry...for everything.”
The girl takes a sharp breath and squeezes his hand back. “I already forgave you, Junho. Stop beating yourself up.”
He tears up a little at her words. He thinks he does not deserve this girl. For all he knows, she probably does not even feel the same thing for him anymore. At least, not after the past few weeks. A small part of Junho tells himself not to tell her anymore. After all, she is going away soon and she does not need to bring with her anything that will trouble her more.
Still, the bigger, more insistent part of him tells him that it is now or never. If he does not say it now, he will never get the chance to say it at all.
So, Junho resolves, as he steps closer to her, to finish what he has come to do and if all hell breaks lose after that, then so be it.
“YN, there’s something else I need to tell you,” he starts, “I’m sorry I took so long to realize this but I want to let you know that I love you.”
The girl breaks into a smile. Then, everything starts to happen all at once. His friends are suddenly yelling and running towards him in a festive mood. Dohyon, who is standing somewhere nearby, yells ‘finally’. And the people surrounding them erupts to an applause.
“We thought your dumbass would never be able to do it,” Eunsang tells him as he ruffles Junho’s hair.
Hangyul and Yohan crashes him into a hug before shaking him crazily and passing him off to the other guys. Wooseok gives him a pat on the back while Dongpyo, Hyeongjun and Minhee all congratulate him in various degrees of teasing. At the back, Seungwoo and Seungyoun are standing behind all the chaos and Junho tips his head to the both of them which Seungyoun returns with a small salute. Seungwoo meets his gaze and nods back.
Junho looks back at the girl. She’s smiling and laughing at them. He untangles himself from his friends and makes his way back to her.
“Sorry about that,” he tells her.
The girl wipes something under her eye and flashes his friends another smile. “It’s okay. I kinda knew they’d do that. They’re so funny.”
“Hey,” Junho calls her attention. “I hope you know I’m serious about you.”
She turns to him and gives him a knowing look. “I know. I just needed you to say it.”
Then, she pulls him to her and whispers in his ear, “I still like you, if you’re wondering, but you need to win me over again if you want to be together.”
Junho can only stare at the girl as she pulls away and winks at him. She smiles over his friends again and bids them her goodbye. When she turns to him last, she places a hand on his face.
“I’ve got to go. Don’t forget to call me,” she says and pinches his cheek before turning around and walking over to her family who has been waiting the entire time.
He is suddenly dumbstruck and the fact that she is acting so coyly now confuses him a lot more. Still, one thing he definitely knows right now is that the girl still feels the same way.
And it is only a matter of time before he wins her over.
A/N: I was so excited to post this. So, here it is 😊🎉 I hope you guys enjoyed Faceless as much as I did. See you all in the next series 💓
Summary: Junho is hiding something and only you can uncover it.
Also known as Junho’s everyday life as a robot…or is he really?
(A/N: Suggested songs to listen to while reading this chapter in consecutive order — I Don’t Know, Don’t Listen in Secret and Habit)
Junho knocks on the door twice. In a short moment of hesitation, he adds another one as he remembers some random superstition. Inside, he hears the bed creak as the girl gets up to answer the door. Her steps are weightless and he barely gets the time to rethink what he's about to do when all of a sudden, the door springs open.
"Hi," she breathes out.
Behind her, the digital clock flashes 1:30 am and Junho rethinks again if he's doing the right thing. The girl steps sideways, making room for him to enter. He wordlessly takes a step inside, still unsure of what to say or do.
In the back of his mind, Junho desperately wants to stay away from her for as long as he can. He's skipped classes so far and for the first time in his entire stay in the academy, he’s slept in the Headmaster's quarters. See, to Junho, things — in this case, people — out of his sight are things out of his mind. And guilt only awakens when a person sees the damage that he’s done.
Seeing the girl now with her eyes looking at him with none of the hatred that he assumes he’ll see, makes a wave of discomfort wash over him in a slow tide.
She closes the door behind her gently, as if any harder will make the entire building collapse. It dims the room a lot as the only source of light is the neon pink lamp sitting on her vanity. Her room smells as clean as Junho recalls but this time, there’s an underlying scent of something familiar. Vodka.
He shifts his eyes on the floor next to her bed and makes a face. “You’ve been drinking?”
“Just a little,” the girl replies, pinching her forefinger and thumb together to make a tiny space between them.
She walks back to her bed lightly and Junho has to convince himself that she hasn’t floated there instead. The bed makes a slight creaking noise again as she sits back down. Junho thinks he’s caught her at a bad time.
The girl gestures to a chair on the makeshift dining table. “Please sit.”
For the lack of any other thing to do, Junho follows her suggestion and moves to sit down on the nearest chair. He thinks she’s sober enough to talk seriously but that is until he accidentally knocks over several empty bottles lined up on the side of the table.
“YN, how much have you had to drink?”
The smile that she flashes him is loopy and unfocused and Junho only realizes now that her face isn’t red because of the lighting but because she’s flushed from the alcohol. The girl doesn’t answer him. Instead, she giggles and takes a swig from the bottle on the floor next to her bed.
“YN, how drunk are you?”
She picks up a piece of potato chip from the bag on her bed. “Not drunk enough, apparently, because I still can’t tell you what’s on my mind.”
Junho stills. There is a shift in the air and he knows what’s about to come down tonight could either break or make whatever it is that is between him and the girl.
He traces something on the table as he speaks, feigning disinterest. “Go ahead. Just tell me.”
“Why are you living your life like this?”
“Like what?”
The girl sighs and chugs down the vodka like it’s water. “It’s like you’re living two lives. I’m uneasy because I know both Junhos — in and out of the school grounds — and the two of them are nothing alike. And I keep thinking to myself, which one is the real one?”
Junho is uneasy, too, but he doesn’t show it. The mask of indifference that he puts on at that moment is made of iron and he’s pretty sure there’s no way it will slip tonight. So, he inspects his nails once, twice, and then, he turns to her.
“Why do you say so?” he asks evenly.
“See, you’re doing it again! You’re so used to me knowing the two faces that you use that you don’t know which face to put on while I’m around. Why can’t you just be you?”
The girl hasn’t yelled. What she’s done, in fact, was sob. Slowly and silently at first. But as she continues speaking, the tremble of her shoulders can no longer be ignored. And somehow, it infuriates Junho. She’s known him barely four months and she thinks she already knows him? How dare her?
The girl continues to sob, but it isn’t making any sense to him. “Why the hell are you crying?”
She looks up to him with a confused frown almost like she’s forgotten that she isn’t alone.
“Why are you crying, YN?”
Her expression then, suddenly morphs into something that is a cross between a frown and a sneer. “Because you’re so quick to change faces. One second you’re this funny, charismatic boy who sneaks out at night just to DJ at the nearby club and next you’re the polite but stoic son of the Headmaster who can never say no to his father even if it hurts him or others—“
Junho stands from his seat, indignant. “That’s not true.”
“Oh, but it is,” she laughs wryly. “Just admit it — you’re faceless, Cha Junho.”
For what it’s worth, Junho isn’t one to lash out on a drunk or half-drunk person but this time, the girl really hit a sensitive spot and he’s afraid, if he doesn’t stop her from speaking any time soon, she’s going to say more things that he can’t unhear.
So, he picks up the closest defense mechanism he can think of and lashes out on his own. “Faceless? The reason why I’m like this is because I need to — not because I want to. If you can’t deal with that, then I don’t think you can deal with anything at all! Not everyone has the luxury to have parents who still support you no matter how repeatedly you want to throw your life away. So, consider yourself lucky because you’re living a free life.”
The girl doesn’t respond right away and Junho thinks he might have overdone it. But then, she raises her head and gives him the most heartbroken expression that he’s ever seen.
“Why did you try to sell my song, Junho? You had no right.”
This catches him off-guard and the lie that he’s prepared before he’s gone into the room has flown out of the window the second that he hears her voice break. He hates it. He hates it so much.
Junho watches the girl as she takes a sip from her bottle. She’s clearly not in the proper state to discuss this right now. He thinks she knows because she puts the half-empty bottle on the floor next to her bed and lies down.
“You’re breaking my heart with all that silence,” she whispers.
Junho refuses to look at her because, he thinks, if he so much as sees tears falling from her eyes, his resolve will crumble and all the things he’s had to endure until that day will be all for nothing. So, he turns his back to her and possibly breaks her heart some more.
“I have nothing to say.”
The laugh that escapes her lips is dry and bitter “You, who tried to sell my song without my knowledge, have nothing to say?”
“The sale never happened. I don’t know what else to tell you, YN.”
“How about that you’re sorry?”
Junho’s voice is small and low, but he’s positive she’s heard him when she stifles her breath. “What if I’m not?”
And as if to confirm that thought, she faces him in what he supposes is the last time and drops a bomb on him so destructive, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to recover again. “Then, I’m sorry for myself for falling for someone as heartless as you.”
A/N: No texts this time! I kinda wanted you guys to feel it completely :))
