#just lain things

[lainduskhollowarchive]

[lainduskhollowarchive]

Changes come Keep your dignity Take the high road Take it like a man

[lainduskhollowarchive]

Finality (IC)

I find myself writing this simply because I know that I might not make it out of this. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life, or the end of it. The true, end of it.  Entwined and connected in ways no one can really understand, Naz’theros and I have been together for nearly two centuries and now...the end is here. Be it my death or a life for us both with our own bodies, our own lives, I cannot say.  I hold faith in my coven, in my chosen few. I trust them but I cannot deny that I’m not frightened to my core. Once upon a time I wished for death. Once I tried desperately to welcome it into my bed and make it my eternal lover but now...now... I have things to live for.  Laeken, Zhrianaa, Elidrin, Vasden, Venathiel, Iloam, even Aelberyn recently. So many souls that have chosen to know what I really am and yet they stayed by my side after I spent so long alone. Completely alone. Like a burst of color into my field of vision, they exploded and painted everything in vibrant hues. How can I go back to monochrome after I’ve been thrust into a swirling spectrum of emotion and feeling?  I just found them and now, in order to save them I have to risk myself and ask them to sacrifice. 

What sort of leader am I?  So many firsts from each of them. So many new things I never felt or thought before. Unreal. Every one of them some aspect of a dream that seems so tangible and yet, my heart beats. I never felt it before but I feel it now. As if it were dead in my chest and somehow was shocked into motion. It hurts. So much it hurts and yet the pain is welcome. The pulse and thrum are my addiction and I never wish to tame it.  But that beat could end tomorrow night. The ritual could bring to an end that short breath of life, and love, and vibrancy I’ve come to need.  I could die.  Yet I press into it and will not back down. For their sake. For my sake. For the sake of Naz’theros. For the sake of everything I hold dear.  Gods, if you listen to me, if you’re there, give me strength. The strength to remember that I am loved even if it’s so foreign to me. Give me the strength to know endurance, to keep compassion, to feel their power in me.  Let me live. 

@laekenalthiel @vasdensoultreader @zhrianaa @knight-elidrin @thehealingnight @ourcollectivefantasy

[lainduskhollowarchive]

Tried my hand at a character/mood board. Every image barely scratches the surface of Lain, but it’s a start. Enjoy!

[lainduskhollowarchive]

Lain’s fashion. Things he’d rock hard. 

[lainduskhollowarchive]

@desolatedangel

[lainduskhollowarchive]

“At times I see the mirror and I see my face, I see -his- face. What I could have been, what could have come to pass. But for every dozen times I see his smiling lips and bright eyes, I see a glimpse of the future, and the truth that lay in waiting. And there isn’t a thing I can do to stop it.” ~Lain

[lainduskhollowarchive]

Oh Lain, what have you done to yourself?