Frankfurt Airport, 2024
Or, “good thing we got here super early. And yes, this is totally why I’m paranoid about always getting to the airport super early.”
So. For those of you who don’t know, there is a super special secret security code you can get on your boarding pass, and if you get it, you will get super shitty security screenings. It’s printed on your boarding pass as “SSSS” and it’s supposedly random. Unless it’s triggered by flying on a one-way ticket, traveling to the wrong places, not having a checked bag, or traveling alone.
Suffices to say, I’ve gotten the lucky boarding pass before. And I got it again today. Yesterday? I don’t know. Blame the jet lag.
This time, I didn’t actualyl do any of the things that alledgedly trigger it (traveling with my spouse on a return ticket to a NATO country in Europe, with checked bags). And… I don’t think it’s entirely random, but that’s a conversation for another day. It is what it is.
What I do want to voice some strong opinions on was how it was handled at the airport.
Before heading to the area with the US-bound flight we were boarding, we had to stand in line to go through a kiosk. There, an angry man separated me from my husband and told him to move along. I was escorted to wait with my fellow selectees (Random my ass. But again, no tthe main theme here). There, I got to watch the short, angry man yell at a father for wanting to stay with his minor child while she was being separated off and searched. When he argued that she was a child (true) and that meant he should stay (pretty sure that’s actually a legal right in those situations? Not a lawyer. Anyhow), our short, shouting friend started threatening him. He’d be “randomly” selected, too. He’d be on a list. And so on. The man pointed out that this kept happening to them. Short, angry security guy continued threatening until he got distracted by someone else to drag over to the random pool of selectees.
Dad stayed. Not sure if he got bonus scrutiny for it, as they went for their totally random search after I did. I do know they were among the last to board the plane.
Anyhow. We’re hearded off to the “behind the scenes” zone. Short security dude continues to be rude and threatening. The first few are summoned. Then me.
Silly me, when the lady asked if she could answer my bag, I asked if I actually had a choice. Should I have been snarky, you may ask? Probably not. But at this point, my better judgement had retreated behind a general sense of frustration.
Instantly, she summoned over two very large, very armed police officers to stand over me. Cue the questions - why am I refusing, what do I have to hide, what was I doing here in the first place?
I responded that I wasn’t refusing, just asking, as it seemed like I had... disproportionate luck with getting “randomly selected,” especially flying home from Europe, and it was starting to feel a little racist. But fine, I said. Do whatever you need to do to let me go home.
At that point, he appears to be photographing my passport with his cell phone (mind you, I’ve already cleared immigration and regular security at this point; I’ve been “stamped out” of the Shengen zone and am legally in the “nowhere” that is airside at an international airport). He insists he isn’t photographing it because that would be illegal, but keeps doing what he was doing, fusses with something on the screen, etc.... I didn't notice the police do this with anyone else's documents, but I wasn't super focused on them by the time I got to the screening cube.
Eventually, they decide I might actually be a teacher from California and not some terrorist mastermind, at which point, they commence with swabbing my computer, swabing my feet and shoes, etc., and the woman peaks up my skirt (not pats - peaks - I am very sure she saw my underwear), and I’m allowed to go, just a little more disillusioned and a lot more apprehensive about future travel to Europe. Am I on a list? Will I have trouble on entry if I come back again? It’s probably paranoia, but what does one do if denied entry? Is there an appeal process? And again, I’m probably being paranoid, but here we are.
