#just nonbinary lizard things

[whimlizard]

[whimlizard]

guys my binder is getting here on monday ahhhh

I’m SO excited 🤗

[whimlizard]

the trans timeline begins?

so I have some amazing people supporting me irl (@rodmanrenegade love you babe) but I want to share a lil trans update and start documenting for myself too

so for a really long time I didn’t feel like I could claim the word trans because I’m not ftm, and because I’m pretty femme sometimes it always kinda felt like I would be ‘stealing’ the word trans. and I like my birth name, and she/her always felt fine, and I kinda ‘grew out of’ my chest dysphoria. but, well, things change.

I came out on fb as non-binary and genderfluid during TDoV this year, ~march 31st~ I was still using she/her alongside they/them.

~september 1st~ I officially switched to they/them in my school email signature and to everyone on fb

~september 12/13th~ I got hit with the first major chest dysphoria I’d felt for about.. six years? the last of it had been at community college. back then I couldn’t really afford a proper binder, I mostly just doubled sports bras. and I don’t know quite what made it come back, but here we are! it could simply be that I’m comfortable enough with my gender at 24 that I have the confidence and independence to pursue the surgery I so desperately wanted when I was 18.

on ~september 17th~ I introduced myself as trans to someone I didn’t know for the first time, at a queer embodiment book talk. and on ~september 19th~ I went to the trans group on campus, transcend, for the first time. I was always worried about going, I guess because I didn’t know if I would be accepted as an at-the-time quite femme non-binary bean. but it was so lovely and welcoming that I’m headed back this week.

I’m fortunate enough to have a trans healthcare center within an hour of me, and I reached out to them and got set up to meet with a therapist on ~october 1st~, and a physician on ~october 11th~. my insurance requires that I see a therapist for gender stuff for a painful whole-ass year before they’ll cover top surgery, so I guess we’re gonna do the thing. maybe work on my executive dysfunctioning brain while we’re at it.

I think at this point I’ve gone from kind of freaked out to really pretty excited, tho there are still a few steps I’d like to take. mostly coming out in a few other places, and a few wardrobe switches. I already have some new tomboyx shorts on their way, and I’m vaguely considering getting a binder. I kind of do prefer sports bras tho, and I don’t have to worry as much about long-term damage. my dance clothes give me some good compression too, and I can get away with wearing them through the day.

I’m going to try to post updates as I move along, especially after I have my first few appointments through the Gender Wellness Center. I know it’s gonna take a while but mostly I’m just excited ahhhh :)

[whimlizard]

just a spooky lizord

[whimlizard]

Joel and I switched glasses and it made me gayer

[whimlizard]

I got this amazing cashmere coat and on top of feeling powerful and receiving regular compliments I’ve also been told that I:

look like I go to wizard school

look like I would a cast a spell on you

and honestly what else could a lizard want 🧚🏼‍♂️

[whimlizard]

found this v grainy pic of me serving greaser vibes

[whimlizard]

got fancied up and went to queer kabaret last night @ wunderbar, ‘‘twas full of amazing performers and lots of queer love and energy 🌟🏳️‍🌈❤️