Just a few little tiny things here and there that I will fix up (like filling in the skull and moving "nanobots" down a line, maybe changing th colour of some of the album names and extending the salmacian flag a bit and the trans nonbinary flag through that big red nothing but (someone scribbled out someone's deltarune thing) but here it is! Pretty much all done! Oh yeah, I might change that abandoned "tails" into snailshell or .. jail... either one would go with tmbg.
And one more all the way zoomed out.
It's in the capital of the state that is bad. Join Us and put down some rainbow or extend the flags (don't destroy anyone's art) or add some art or other pride flags on / near the rainbow if you want. :) (Or even take over that tails cuz the person who made it is in the tails group and has obviously abandoned it since it's been there since right after I started mine but hasn't been updated since. Or fill in that red blob that used to be a deltarune dude but I guess someone was mad at it and erased it with red.
I kinda like the Join us monster hearse so I might just put that some other places. What do you think?
I feel like not enough people know this but you do not have to use binders or sports bras to get rid of ur chest. that is not the only solution to it. I have breathing problems and often I can't wear a binder.
anyways I would like to introduce you to kinesiology tape, there's a brand of it specifically marketed towards trans people called Trans Tape, but it's expensive and if you don't live in a safe house/aren't out to ur parents you can find it on Amazon and works the same for cheaper.
of course not you have to know how to use it to make your chest flat right? well lucky you, trans Tape has public video tutorials on how to apply their tape which is just the same as the tape you hypothetically bought from Amazon or maybe CVS if you can afford it.
and to finish it off a little word of advice: that stuff doesn't come off easily. make sure to have some sort of oil to take it off as you could possibly use water but the likelihood that you'll damage your skin goes up because this stuff is waterproof since it's used by athletes. very sticky. so below is a link to a smaller and cheap bottle of almond oil that is safe for your skin, I don't really know much about how you would react if you have any allergies though so I would recommend doing your own research on that if you're concerned about it.
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that's a brand that I personally have used, there's probably way better ones that will take it off easier with a little less abrasion but this one is fairly cheap and I was going more towards cheap for people, if you want something better there is other ones going around if you do a quick Google search.
make sure to do a patch test with the tape to know if you're not allergic to the glue that these tapes use before you start using them to make your chest flat. make sure you're not pulling at the tape during the day when dry or wet. make sure that the tape is not pulling your skin taught or that there is any redness while using, if there is please take it off immediately. make sure to stay safe as this isn't a completely risk free alternative, no binding is completely 100% safe, it's just safer for more people and causes less breathing problems and warping of the ribs in the long run. Plus if you find a color that matches your skin tone you could probably wear it without a shirt on or at least with a button up open.
this kind of tape helped me a lot when I had really horrible chest dysphoria, it made me feel normal when binders only made me more gender dysphoric and uncomfortable and in pain. I recommend it a lot especially since you can feel through the tape and it'll really feel like you're flat against shirts, which is an amazing experience
I love you all my trans siblings and please stay safe
Currently: nervously drinking coffee and waiting for my (virtual) first appointment with the gender identity clinic.
The initial referral for this appointment was made in 2018 and I had started to think it would never happen. While also failing to save for private treatment, which would be my other option. I’m sore and tired and today realised my binder is getting worn out, which shows how long I’ve been waiting. Still hoping that one day I will no longer have to wear a binder.
And my leg is still busted, so I’m wearing my Boba baggy pants and leaning into the Grumpy But Hopeful Almost Forty and You May Only Vaguely Perceive My Physical Form Trans Energy.
so I have some amazing people supporting me irl (@rodmanrenegade love you babe) but I want to share a lil trans update and start documenting for myself too
so for a really long time I didn’t feel like I could claim the word trans because I’m not ftm, and because I’m pretty femme sometimes it always kinda felt like I would be ‘stealing’ the word trans. and I like my birth name, and she/her always felt fine, and I kinda ‘grew out of’ my chest dysphoria. but, well, things change.
I came out on fb as non-binary and genderfluid during TDoV this year,
~march 31st~
I was still using she/her alongside they/them.
~september 1st~ I officially switched to they/them in my school email signature and to everyone on fb
~september 12/13th~ I got hit with the first major chest dysphoria I’d felt for about.. six years? the last of it had been at community college. back then I couldn’t really afford a proper binder, I mostly just doubled sports bras. and I don’t know quite what made it come back, but here we are! it could simply be that I’m comfortable enough with my gender at 24 that I have the confidence and independence to pursue the surgery I so desperately wanted when I was 18.
on ~september 17th~ I introduced myself as trans to someone I didn’t know for the first time, at a queer embodiment book talk. and on ~september 19th~ I went to the trans group on campus, transcend, for the first time. I was always worried about going, I guess because I didn’t know if I would be accepted as an at-the-time quite femme non-binary bean. but it was so lovely and welcoming that I’m headed back this week.
I’m fortunate enough to have a trans healthcare center within an hour of me, and I reached out to them and got set up to meet with a therapist on ~october 1st~, and a physician on ~october 11th~. my insurance requires that I see a therapist for gender stuff for a painful whole-ass year before they’ll cover top surgery, so I guess we’re gonna do the thing. maybe work on my executive dysfunctioning brain while we’re at it.
I think at this point I’ve gone from kind of freaked out to really pretty excited, tho there are still a few steps I’d like to take. mostly coming out in a few other places, and a few wardrobe switches. I already have some new tomboyx shorts on their way, and I’m vaguely considering getting a binder. I kind of do prefer sports bras tho, and I don’t have to worry as much about long-term damage. my dance clothes give me some good compression too, and I can get away with wearing them through the day.
I’m going to try to post updates as I move along, especially after I have my first few appointments through the Gender Wellness Center. I know it’s gonna take a while but mostly I’m just excited ahhhh :)
I think cosmetology school is going to do me well. Here I am, almost 100 days into my #hrt and wow my body is changing. Its amazing to me because everything is a first again. Everything from the scents and smells I like to the food I crave is changing. I am simply different, my very chemistry is shifting. I am falling in love with myself all over again. Apart of myself in fact, that testosterone so quickly erased from my identity. 99 days in and I am most certainly still 100% the happiest about my decision to begin hormone replacement therapy.
