#just rambling...

[ju-liczka]

Uh I love Roathe so much. Anyway... The thing that he told us about being Nikoths plaything and concubine??? It does weird things to my brain so...

I'd like to see him as brute, egocentric and demanding as usual but completely folding in when it comes to intimacy.

Whatever was there, between him and Nikoth, had obvious power and status imbalance, where he could be left with little to no say in that matter. He is used to that dynamic, he is used to the intimacy being something held against him. Something that he might want and enjoy as well obviously, but something that is very much outside his autonomy. Maybe she would ask him what he wants? But even then, there were wrong answers to this question...

And this could go in different ways, as he could potentially lash out as now being able to be the one in control, lavishing in it. Become the ultimate dom.

orrrrrr...

Doubling down on being the biggest pleaser to his lover, going along with anything they want. Perhaps out of deep rooted fear or conditioned expectation that if he says no, you would push him away. That if he says no, there will be some kind of punishment. That if he doesn't satisfy you, impress you, please you above all else, you won't see him as worthy of this kind of intimacy that he still very much yearns for.

At some point he realises that he actually kinda likes you... And after all the banter, fighting, his inflated ego, intimidating attitude and literally rage-bating you for fun, he knows that you don't mind that really so he gets more comfortable around you. But after catching real, deep feelings for the Drifter, he REALY doesn't want to lose you. You are so different from Nikoth but the insecurity still lingers. Insecurity that he actually won't be able to satisfy your needs and you ultimately, deem him unworthy of your attention.

So he tries to impress you, does whatever you ask of him to do. You find him so different, so unusually compliant, ready to jump hoops to make you feel good and happy. And it freaks you the hell out. He catches onto your reactions and panicks. He's obviously doing something wrong, you are clearly not happy with him.

And he asks you what's wrong, and you ask him what's wrong. Why does he look so uncomfortable, and yet so eager? Why does he seem so poised, and yet his hands tremble? If he doesn't want to do it, why doesn't he say so?

Oh and that breaks him. Because he wants. He really, really wants. But for some reason he is so god damn scared. So much more than he ever was with Nikoth. Because she didn't care, as long as he played along, she didn't care. And there you are, not satisfied with the best performance he can give. The sweetest lie that he can brew for the both of you.

He doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know how to react to the genuine worry on your face. He laughs it off, he tries to assure you thats nothing is wrong. He is confident in his skills, in his techniques just relax and let him work! He can satisfy you! He can be good, really good. Just let him... But you call bulshit on that obviously.

Seeing him struggle, you reach out to comfort him and at some point, after calming down, he finally admits to his fears. And that he really does want to be intimate with you and... You see through it all and you propose a deal, and the Devil... agrees.

And so you go on, taking the gentle lead. Asking him what he wants, what he likes. Reassuring him along the way that there are no wrong answers. That this is for the both of you, and that he has as much say in the process as you do... And he melts into your arms, still having a hard time really realising what he wants but he will get there. And he will get there with you~

Ugghghh Anyways... What are your thoughts? Remember, there are no wrong answers ✌️🔥

[ruruss]

spooktober entries look very fun this year i've already added so many to my list >_< i realized i miss playing vns because i took a long break! i'm sort of back to them and i have finished blackberry honey today!! it was so so cute, i think i really love ebihime's writing style and ideas :3 can't wait to play rituals in the dark too.

[juieon]

now that ww is going through his layification is wayv gonna be just the other five iksfnkjdnkjdfnks i wonder whats going to happen to them... in the future it might be lacking since they can't put on a big performance now that they're less members but who are they even going to send there to fill the spots kjdsnkjdnkjsdnkjds i want ten to able to shine and idk if he would be able to have that in a big unit like 127 but now that wayv will be five i feel like it be obvious that he will be carrying the entire unit himself and not in a good way no offense to the rest of the members ksndkjdnkjsdnkj but even if i think about them splitting, would it even make sense to debut a new unit for them in korea??? bc it would be kinda stupid to redebut them in china but in korea it would be exo-m 2.0 so lol i hope their music doesn't change i have really enjoyed wayv's music

[doctorstarline]

Dr. Starline, Issue 14 and thoughts.

SO, I know this chapter is pretty old but I never really unloaded my thoughts about it in an eligible manner.

I am still surprised how quickly Ian decided to create conflict between Eggman and Star and I’m really happy to see this conflict continued and accentuated in recent chapters.

The first panel above still really stands out to me. That was when I started seeing Star as a new favorite character. The fact that he’s so emotionally charged, crafty, resourceful, smart, respectful and devoted despite being a villain who just tried to kill a 15 year old was what pulled me in, just like Queen Merlina, my former #1 favorite purple, empathetic Sonic villain. Despite being a villain, Star has a personality you can definitely empathize with and I relate to his actions and the way he was treated in Issue 14 very personally. My relationship with my mother is nearly 1:1 with Star’s and Eggman’s.

StarEgg is starting to become really unappealing to me, while I love the concept of Star being queer, I want no reciprocation from Eggman, ever. I want to see Star become fully disillusioned, lose just a little bit more faith in humanity and just S N A P. I am so ready for that. My prediction is that if he DOES snap and put up a huge fight against whoever his new target would be, he will eventually lose and have to retreat, probably temporarily, then become a recurring villain.

Anyway yeah, I love issue 14 and I love Star and I WILL kiss him and no one can stop me.

[verothexeno]

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I might probably be sapiosexual

“ A person who is sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind before appearance. “

If I cannot engage a thriving discussion with someone, if I cannot get over small talk with someone, it’s hard for me to develop interest of any kind most of the time.

I think it’s been this way most of my life? I mean, when I look back to most of my “fictional” crushes, most of the time it’s characters who present high levels of intelligence or some sort of courtesy. As a teenager, I was never able to properly “flirt” with others because I would often have no interest in the person. I did have some physical crushes, but it often stopped there because there was never any sparks mentally. And then my fiancé often asks me why I love him. I do love him for his look, but most of the time I answer him: “Because you and I are the same. We think alike. You are intelligent.”

For me, that’s the biggest plus in our relationship. We can get into deep conversations, explore subjects that are problematic or morally ambiguous. We learn and grow together. THAT is exciting and inspiring and so refreshing.

Don’t talk to me about the weather or what you had for dinner last night. I have eyes to see that and eating is part of our daily routine.... Share with me what you learned. Let’s learn something new together. Make my mind explode with amazement or laughter. I’m easily turned off by people who talk in a sloppy manner (for exemple; rough and heavy Québécer speech gets on my nerve really easily). Accents are interesting and intriguing, but when it’s done intentionally and with malicious intent, that’s a big no-no in my agenda.

Maybe that’s a big part of why I can finally identify myself as bisexual (maybe pan in a sense?) - no matter who you are, what you look like; your intellect is of a bigger value to me.

I do not want to sound pretentious. I still respect everyone and their personal background. I’m still exploring and learning about sapiosexuality.

I’m just realizing more and more why I’ve rarely been attracted to human bodies in general. Sure, I do have some physical preferences, but that is just a minor detail to me at some point. (And personally, I prefer monsters anyway lol)

[ju-liczka]

Learning to draw Yautja for me means drawing their faces once and then completely redrawing them again.

This happened with Ka'thaek. His first face on the left looked too goofy so I redrew it to the one on the right and it stayed as such.

And now I had the same case with another OC I'm in the process of making.

The first one on the left looked real flat and did not really translate into a young Yautja vibe I was going for. Now her face looks almost fluffy which I kind of like. And it fits my plans to give her some fur for clothes as well.

I'm still learning and trying to get a better grasp on their face structure but it all comes with practice as all things do.

So the moral of the story is...

When in doubt! Draw it the fuck again basically lol

[ju-liczka]

Been thinking more about sub Roathe especially now with one of his voice messages:

"I understood from the start - both on the battlefield and in the bedchamber - the path to victory through seeming submission."

At first it made me reconsider my previous thoughts but then it only made me believe in sub Roathe even more. (Like that's just my opinion ofc this gives room to many more interpretations)

Mostly, it all comes down to him learning to feel safe in that submissive position. Accepting the part of himself that desires to be simply cared for with no strings or ulterior motives attached. Letting himself relax in the hands of someone he can trust to do him no harm, without the fear of their disapproval or rejection if he changes his mind or wouldn't want to do something.

Perhaps, it could be something he grows into more overtime. Staring as dominant, clinging to that feeling of control. Making sure you are not going anywhere. Making sure you don't leave him. Chasing the feeling of reclaiming what he was missing throughout all the years.

Ohhh the specifics of this could vary greatly Drifter to Drifter. And one could argue that submision was forced upon him so he actually doesn't enjoy it. But overall I just see a lot of angsty potential in sub Roathe, that grows to feel safe enough to let himself actually enjoy it. Remembering obviously that sub doesn't equal bottom and dom doesn't equal top AND the dynamics don't have to stay the same all the time.