sedori: you can read our story here http://wanderection.tumblr.com/post/15650128984/im-curious-can-you-tell-me-the-story-of-you-and ! :) but basically, i always liked her blog, i thought she was really cool and funny and one day she followed me back and we started talking to each other instantly. i think we kind of started flirting right away also? then she showed me a picture of her and i was blown away because jesus christ what the fuck is that face tbh????????? and then she made me a video and i died and i was like ok i definitely have the biggest crush on this girl holy shit. and it turned out she had a crush on me back bless and idk it happened really really fast. everyone started to ask us if we were dating because of the way we talked to/about each other and all that. someone asked me if i was single, i asked them to ask sedori and she said 'no' and bam i'm taken lol so yeah, we started liking each other really fast. i liked her because she was always saying the sweetest things to me, even when we were just friends. always complementing me, paying attention to the things i said, leaving cute messages in my inbox when i was at school, etc :3 i got attached, really. couldn't seem to go a day without talking to that idiot. i have no idea why she liked me though. go figure.
how i kept up with it... well, i just went with the flow you know? i know it didn't last long but still, it isn't hard to keep up with. i just couldn't deal with the distance and other personal things she knows about. we would always talk to each other and that was about it! we didn't skype because i'm not a skype person tbh but most couples in a long distance relationship do. you just do whatever couples do, without the physical parts. and make sure to always keep it fun, 'cause 'tumblr relationships' or LDR in general can be boring at some point if you don't keep it interesting. sexting is always a yes lol tmi? ops sorry
namda: well, we met on another website. i think even when i didn't know i was gay i sorte of always had a crush on her and maybe she always had one on me too, idk because she was in a relationship with someone she loved a lot at the time, for almost three years. then they broke up and idk i'd always tell her how amazing she is and that anyone'd be like to date her and one day she said she had a crush on someone and everyone was like OH TELL US TELL US and i'm not sure if it was me who said 'JUST SAY IT if it's me don't worry 'cause i have a crush on you too' or if she said it was me before i said i had one on her too but i think it was the former. but nothing happened, we just left it there. theeennnn when i got into the glee fandom (namda used to be REALLY obsessed with glee. she's not that obsessed now, though), we would talk about it all the time, we started talking to each other every day tbh. and it was really fun and i loved talking to her so much. then we started to flirt and all that obviously and then it started to get a bit more romantic. one day she asked me if she could call it an official thing and i said yes and bam i'm taken lol do you see a pattern I NEVER SAID I WAS GOOD AT RELATIONSHIPS THAT'S WHY I'M SINGLE TBH
i couldn't keep it up after a while because she started to be so distant and idk, cold sometimes. and i'm an insecure person so i kept my distance too which didn't help at all. at one point, we would barely talk to each other so what was the point of being in a relationship? so yeah, we broke up. now i know why she used to act that way and it's all cool. actually, we've never been not cool lol (well expect for this one time but let's not talk about those dark times wow) but she was a wonderful girlfriend! :3
the one who must not be named: oh god, i never talked about our history to anyone besides people i'm friends with and now i'm sharing it on tumblr uh ok.
let's call her jane because that was the name of one of the girls in my english exercise yesterday shhh.
so, jane. jane followed me first but back then i used to follow everyone back, so i followed her. but jane wasn't just another follower tbh, i used to have a crush on her but i found out she was straight and i was like WHY NO YOU'RE SO PRETTY sigh she really is pretty the prettiest fucking human being god why did you have to make me fall for /her/ OK OK JULI NOT NOW i remember i used to tell her anonymously what a shame it was that she is straight omfg i'm pathetic laugh at me whatever
BUT THEN THREE MONTHS AFTER WE STARTED FOLLOWING EACH OTHER i'm good with dates sometimes shut up I GOT AN ANONYMOUS MESSAGE in portuguese so there's no use showing it to you OF SOMEONE WHO SEEMED REALLY SWEET, TELLING ME THEY LIKED ME AND WANTED TO BE WITH ME AND THAT I WAS REALLY PRETTY AND THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE FROM MULLINGAR no BUT SHE WASN'T READY TO COME OUT AS ANYTHING AND I WAS LIKE OMFG OK WHO ARE YOU PLS WHAT IS THIS YOU'RE THE SWEETEST THING and then i said a few things about being gay blablabla
AND SHE MESSAGED ME AGAIN!!! we had a little chat tbh lol she told me where she lived WHICH IS A BIT FAR AWAY FROM ME TBH BUT IT'S STILL IN THE SAME CITY ♥.♥, blablabla we talked and i begged her to come off anon and after a couple more tries she did /BUT/ before she did, jane reblogged something from me and i was like '... wait' BC JANE LIVES WHERE I LIVE, JANE TALKS LIKE THE ANON TALKS, JANE IS 'STRAIGHT', JANE IS... MY ANON OH MY /GOD/ yeah basically that and then bAM JANE IS IN MY INBOX SAYING SHE WAS MY ANON AND I DIED we started talking to each other and jesus christ i was freaking out because THIS JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN OK BEAUTIFUL STRAIGHTGIRLS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL FOR WEIRD, IRRELEVANT, NOT-BEAUTIFUL GIRLS LIKE ME WHAT THE FUCK DID JANE SEE IN ME ANON TELL ME BECAUSE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS yes years :| I STILL DON'T GET IT
this doesn't have a 'bam i'm taken' at the end of it though sigh and that's the problem, i guess. BUT WAIT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO THIS STORY MAN YOU HAVE NO IDEA you know namda, right? the one i just talked about? well yeah, i ''''broke up'''' with jane to be with namda because jane was uncertain and namda just knew. well, at least i thought jane was uncertain until i started dating namda and she honestly got jealous and upset and sometimes she seemed really sad about it tbh? and it was shocking, really. because she'd always say she felt something for me, she never said I LIKE YOU and that bothered me so much! idk i felt like 'she can't even say it, how am i gonna have anything with someone like that?' but thennnnn i broke up with namda because whenever jane posted something clearly about me, my heart'd race and i'd feel funny things in my stomach :~))))) so yeah, a while after i broke up with namda, i wrote jane this really big 'letter' (i literally wrote it lol but since i obviously wasn't gonna send her a fucking letter, i typed it into her inbox) but she didn't want to ''get back together'' or whatever because she was dealing with a lot and she didn't need anything more. she wasn't even rude, she said it in the sweetest way a hurt person could say something like that. and since i couldn't do anything about it, we stayed friends. but i am an insecure person AND SO IS SHE JESUS CHRIST HOW DID THIS THING EVEN WORK, i'd go aaaages without talking to her because 'i annoyed her' but then she'd message me out of the blue and it'd make me really really happy sajhsjadhkj sigh i have so many messages from her bookmarked you have no idea (answer privately didn't exist back then) ;_; ok ok so yeah then, in june, i met sedori and we started dating blablabla AND JANE STARTED TO POST THINGS ABOUT ME AGAIN AND I WANTED TO COMMIT BECAUSE JESUS CHRIST JANE WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN MY LIFE I HATE YOU but omfg i didn't cheat on sedori or anything ok!!!!!!!!!!!! and no, i didn't break up with her because of jane (well tbh she was part of the reason but sedori knows the whole story and no she doesn't think i'm disgusting and that's the only part that matters) and idk man all of the sudden (not really but shh) i just loved jane so much. idk how it happen but one day i just exploded you know (in the safety of my room obviously) I WAS CRYING WHILE LISTENING TO PRETENDING BY THE GLEE CAST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SANE PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT and idk i just wanted her back so so so so so so so so much, i was like i couldn't breathe properly without her anymore. BUT THEN ON A WONDERFUL SUNDAY MORNING RAIN IS FALLING no it wasn't even a sunday i think whATEVER we were talking, we'd been talking for hours and she started telling me about this party blablabla personal things i won't mention blablablabla i love you juli (no) blablabla "BUT I STILL KIND OF LIKE YOU" BAM I'M DEAD GOODBYE WORLD WHAT IS THIS SHIT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT DO YOU HATE ME DO YOU WANNA SEE ME SUFFER IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT JANE and omfg idk i was like aRE YOU KIDDING ME JANE PLEASE SAY YOU MEAN IT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU TOO SO MUCH and omfg it was the best day of my life :(:(:(:(:( nothing else compares ugh even if i meet taylor swift one day in person that day is still gonna be the best day, or my favorite day, whatever both work :(:(:( it was so perfect she told me she loved me "so much" and she told me all these things she'd been keeping to herself for months and skajdasd;saldjaskh it was just so fucking wonderful. ;_; and BAM I'M TAKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well not really because after a while i found out she didn't consider is girlfriend and girlfriend :~) but whatever i had the girl of my dreams with me the rest is just duMB SHIT
but i was a dumbass back then i didn't know how to deal with loving someone that much so i screwed it up :~) i'd get mad at her for not talking to me, i'd get mad at her for ignoring me sometimes, i'd get mad at her because yoU NEED TO LOVE ME 24/7 JANE YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE TBH!!!!!!
AND AS INCREDIBLE AS IT SEEMS, /I/ WAS THE ONE TO BREAK THINGS UP LIKE WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's been a year and i still regret every mean word i said to her ^-^ i will regret them for the rest of my life tbh ^-^ because i let the best thing i'd ever had go ^-^
she hated me for a while tbh and i didn't get it but i get it now and i wish she could just let those months of me being an asshole go, you know? because she still remembers every second of it and it keeps her from trying again (eventhough we did get back together earlier this year but it didn't last much. let's not go there because i have a few horrible memories.) and ugh i just wish she'd give me a chance to show her that i've grown up, that i've changed and that i won't make the same mistakes. idk it's still hard for me to deal with thinking that maybe we won't ever work out/get back together, i just cannot think like that.
wow, this is embarassing and i'm gonna stop before i'm in too deep (... wait)
and honestly, i can't tell you how to keep up a relationship when it comes to jane. she still hasn't given me the chance to try to make things work, now that i think i'll know what to do.
hashtag jane go back to juli let's trend that shit
