#just selkie problems...

[selkies-hideaway]

Me actually guys...

[selkie-life]

Do you have “health issues” that ironically reflect your theriotype/othertype?

*yells at the sun*

WARNING: if you’re sensitive to discourse on women’s health, this page may bother u ⚠️

My biggest health problem for over a decade now has been hormonal issues (hyperandrogenism) and hypovolemic postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome - dangerous combo that can be life threatening if left undiagnosed and untreated long term.

My symptoms were hirsutism, strained vocal cords from high testosterone (a deepening voice), cystic acne, itchy open sores on scalp, Jekyll and Hyde level mood swings, hair-loss (hair would literally grow everywhere else on my body but not on my head like wtf), chronic body inflammation that caused me constant pain literally all over (imagine having arthritis all over your body and the weight of gravity itself hurt), and heavy bleeding for weeks during menstruation which aggravated the hypovolemic POTS to the point where I was losing more blood than my body could replace.

It got so bad with chronic pain and mood swings that I was chronically depressed and wanted to take my life. The only relief I could get was being submerged in water at a depth of 10 feet where gravity couldn’t aggravate my physical pain and where my seal instincts took over to suppress my dark thoughts.

It was in this moment of darkness that I realized my body and spirit aren’t meant for this. Seals don’t live on land 24/7 and have to deal with gravity as a constant which can cause poor circulation of blood flow and trigger hypovolemic POTS, seals don’t have cycles like humans do, and so I decided that I needed to make some changes. I decided to get a doctor who would help me with hormone replacement therapy and an androgen blocker.

This is where things got tricky, because with hypovolemic POTS, certain blockers (spironolactone and drospirnone) can aggravate symptoms because these medications can cause the body to shed water and lead to rapid dehydration - quicker than water can replace, which is what happened to me when I was prescribed these medications to try. I didn’t know this, and neither did my doctor so we both found out the hard way…

Because I had to stop my menstrual cycle, and because doctors refused to to give me a hysterectomy because of my age, I had to go with birth control, which in my case can be hard to use because it’s a fine balance of combining progesterone and estrogen.

Originally I tried a progestin only pill, which was absolutely terrible because it was combined with dospirnone to block androgens - so this pill ended up dehydrating me and thinning the lining of the uterus to the point where it would just constantly bleed like an open wound. Then I had to go on Norethindrone to stop the bleeding/build up the uterine lining which worked, but the side effect was terrible mood swings that brought me back to the wanting to end it all mindset.

Finally, after ER visits, being bedridden for months because of a lack of blood, and going off and on meds plus not being able to get into my doctor for months because of the state I live in, I managed to find an androgen blocker that wouldn’t dehydrate me called Finasteride (which is extremely difficult to get a doctor to prescribe in the US because they don’t get paid when it’s prescribed) and so they will use the “it causes birth defects if u get pregnant” excuse which is silly to say because literally all other androgen blockers have this risk IF u get pregnant (which in my case isn’t even possible because I’m a single virgin asexual).

I had to visit 2 doctors because I couldn’t get into my PCP until many months, and neither of these doctors would put me on the medication I needed because of either a lack of understanding my situation or greed.

When I finally got into my PCP, he understood my dilemma and wasn’t surprised the other doctors denied me access to finasteride, so he got me the prescription I needed that day and I got to try the androgen blocker the next day, and also got me started on a new HRT pill that would stop my cycle (a balance of progestin [for uterine lining thinning) and estrogen [mood protection + prevent the lining from getting too thin]) that would replace the Northindrone that the other doctor had put me on to stop me from bleeding.

It took a few weeks for me to notice a change, and after a month I noticed my acne cleared, open sores on scalp started to heal, the hirsutism declined, my voice stopped deepening, the Jekyll and Hyde level mood swings ended, the hair-loss stopped, the chronic body inflammation that caused me constant pain was clearing up again, and the bleeding stopped. Plus these medications didn’t cause me to shed water, so the hypovolemic POTS had pretty much disappeared.

So now I feel like a new person and am able to live and love life again.

The only thing is the HRT progesterone/estrogen medication is some breakthrough bleeding every now and then while my body adjusts, but it’s not heavy and doesn’t last more than 5 days which is waaaay better than weeks and months of bleeding imo.

In the end, I’m happy with where I’m at, and I hope this information helps someone who’s going through something similar to me and just know that y’all have hope!

Also, before I go, I just have to say this because I find it super annoying and triggering because my insurance and the pharmacists don’t recognize I am being prescribed birth control for HRT, not because I’m sexually active - which makes getting my 3 month prescription extremely difficult and stressful because I’m on continuous use which is different than contraception because I have to skip the placebo pills which means I run out of pills before the “insurance covered refills date”!

*angry seal sounds*

Also, pharmacists, please stop asking me if I’m pregnant when u give me my pills. It’s socially awkward af and y’all know I’m not because otherwise I wouldn’t be having these problems or taking hormones! I really want to add a note to my profile somehow that explains my situation… but whatever… ugh…

*agitated belly slapping*

[selkies-hideaway]

There's something so enjoyable about terrible weather I'll be so honest. I love it when it's pouring, when it's muddy and dirty and flooding, when it's all storming and windy with a mild chill in the air. I just love it! The darker in the evening the better too. I just love it when it looks like this

Though where I'm from it's more neutral grays and warm gray. Either way, wild weather makes me feel wild.

[selkies-hideaway]

Really small sketches since I needed to get my mind off the literally nothing burger that was my day today...

[selkies-hideaway]

If I had my skin...

I need to draw myself some more

[selkies-hideaway]

Man I'm watching an ocean documentary right now and I really wish I could go on a hunt... fishing isn't quite like swimming and catching your own food.

[selkies-hideaway]

Self moodboard

[selkies-hideaway]

I might sound a bit strange when I say this but I'm pretty okay with the idea of being in a captive zoo or rehab. If i had my skin and I was placed into a zoo or something of a research or a rehab I'd be okay with it. Mostly cause I saw a post jokingly saying a selkie staying at an aquarium because rent's too high and I'd honestly weigh it as an option. Maybe not permanent but its funny and could be enjoyable.