A Bubble of Snow
Well baby number 5 arrived here on December 28th. A beautiful bubby girl. We are so in love …again, she is absolutely divine and doing all the baby things!
Then reality hits….the husband goes back to work, the washing is piling up, older kids are bored, the dishes sit there waiting to be washed, the bills from Christmas period didn’t disappear…all of a sudden that idea of the summer holidays spent at the beach with the family only exists on a weekend if the weather is permitting and beachable.
The kids are wanting friends and i don’t want people here, there is already mess, more kids add to that and there are always fights and the boredom still shows its face when friends are here and the world is not enough!
It’s a new battle now, and extra baby, making time for everyone else often means time runs out super quick…I find myself feeling confused at what I actually want, and how it really is. I want simplicity, no rush, fun, none of those things can happen without organisation and structure, housework doesn’t do itself (a comment we are often reminded of by our mothers). Social media is so misleading, pictures posted, status updates, are we trying to fool ourselves or everyone else? The main reason I began writing this blog is because I don’t want anyone to think my life is something it’s not. I’m not struggling and covering it with one out of a hundred photos where I finally got all my kids looking like they aren’t going to kill whoever is next to them. That snapshot of something amazing we grasp onto to make us feel a bit better….don’t get me wrong I bet people do really have a euphoric life of bliss and rainbows, a partner to spend every minute with and well behaved children all the time, but it’s not me and I’m not going to pretend it is. Even though I know that what some people put on social media is a complete lie i still feel envious and sad, I don’t want to but I do. It’s like being surrounded by people and still feeling lonely, it doesn’t make sense but the feelings are there. #
