#justjosh

[thescientificbusinessman-blog]

[thescientificbusinessman-blog]

Let’s just waste the day because the future is full of hope and the present is full of poison.

[thescientificbusinessman-blog]

I found this note near the beach when I had started running and took a picture uploading it to my IG “hopefully a #sign?” 

I was running while constantly missing my ex and I had just quit my job as an assistant manager in a fast food restaurant. 

Soon after my ex liked the picture on my ig and started talking to me. 

I started studying and working as a financial planner and Lyft driver and suddenly had no boss. I continued to work out every day and getting a message from my ex or expecting at least one a day was my highlight. 

Then my ex suddenly blocked me and I started slowing down in my financial business, not even going in to the office most days. I had no motivation to exercise, and my life started crumbling around me. 

The last three months have been an absolute fucking whirlwind taking me through the best highs, most confident successes, and the most damaging lows, coupled with seemingly limitless depression. 

I was not ready for the last three months and even though I don’t believe in fates, this note happened to come up to me when my life was going to be the most dynamic. 

The next note is in my heart and head and this is the beginning of a new motivation for just myself. Because I deserve to be loved too.

[thescientificbusinessman-blog]

For just a few moments, you were on my mind. A handful of seconds, I heard your voice. I did not call or reach for you. I did not need to resist because I did not step towards you. I thought of you fondly but not in necessity. I have no motivation except to become better for myself and you were so much sweeter than my own flesh. The aftertaste of your heart lingered in my throat and what had once suffocated me is hardly noticeable. You're drying up inside of me and it's free. It kills me, but it's liberating.

[thescientificbusinessman-blog]

Love

Walking out into a misted morning hours before the sun wakes

Walking on the street edge of the sidewalk to let someone walk closer

Having conversations that last hours without saying one word

Embracing tightly in only street lights

Laying on the beach after everyone's left

Resting gently on one another's breast

Feeling bliss and peace while living in hell

Love is hidden in each of our shells

[thescientificbusinessman-blog]

Inspire

Time melted with memories of her

I broke my body and divided my soul

Convinced that I'd meet her

My story had a new role

Now months have passed

All my effort was futile

My actions gone to waste

My purpose was gone

Dead was my haste

I struggle now to get out of bed

Thoughts and useless ideas fill my head

So I write to the wind and sign broken-hearted

Searching for answers

To complete what I've started

Now aimless desire

With a passion retired

Hoping for a savior

A source that inspires.

[thescientificbusinessman-blog]

Breathe

Slowly and wholly take a breath

We'll lay our nightmares down to rest

A frightened mind

Lost in time

Scratching, reaching for a sign

Everybody just slow down

Take one step with me now

We hear thuds against the wood floors faint

Terrors surrounding will fade away

Match your steps with mine

Together we'll see

Let's learn what happens when we stop and breathe.

[thescientificbusinessman-blog]

Persist and drink water everyone!