justunderstandplease
i can see myself running- not my whole self, just my feet beneath me, each one appearing, then disappearing, then reappearing, over and over and over. i don't feel much.
mom never liked it. she always thought i was going to get hit by a car or something. she said she was always waiting to get a call from the police. whenever i came in from running, she looked sort of sad.
i picture mom sitting in the breakfast nook, tatting and frowning, while Sam deals out his hockey cards in neat piles. she doesn't look up when i come in, she just keeps tatting. Sam shows me his cards, pictures of hockey players smiling, hockey players skating, players with their helmets on, with their helmets off.
as soon as i come in she always says. “don't you have some homework to do?” so i usually just go upstairs and leave them alone.