this is the first part of the joker x harley saga, notes for my actual novel! idk yet if this is good but enjoy. Each name is a chapter concept of every ao3 fanfic chapter hihi
I sat at home and wasn't sure how to even gather myself. Fuck. I would regret this? Fuck no. I possibly couldn't. How the fuck did he still frustrate me.
My bed was messy from the research but I put it all aside without a care in the world. Fuck. I was obsessed. I didn't want him to go to prison. Harley? Really?
I yelled into my pillow once again to process these emotions going through me. Desire? Fear? It was a mix of both and it was killing me inside. I wanted to tear my fucking skin off, this kind of obsession wasn't healthy for me. Nor anyone for that matter.
I finally stood up and turned on the news. Fuck. Insanity plea was fucking gone. He was seen so differently, as they tried to uncover more of his crimes. I now see why I would regret this.
I arrived at work the next morning and he looked at me with a stern look, not knowing how to get through the intense nervousness.
''So, it worked out, mhm? No more insanity plea.'', he said with an almost threatening voice. He wasn't trying to hide it anymore, and holy fuck it. Raw. Next question. He was fine. ''Poor Gotham, you made me lose the fucks that saved it.''
I looked at him in disbelief as I scoffed, but maintained as professional as I could. He knew how to get a rise out of me, it almost seemed fun to him. Scratch that, it fucking was.
''I did my job properly.'', I answered coldly as I was trying to deny the attraction I felt. This would be the last conversation we would have, but I would miss him. I hated to admit it.
He looked at me for a few seconds, sensing a sense of nervousness. I wasn't sure whether he noticed before; now I knew for certain. Fuck. Ofcourse he did. It is the goddamn joker.
''Yeah.. That's all you did, mhm? I know the insane work it takes to get this done, have I been on your mind?'', he asked with a slight smirk that made me stutter over my words, nearly. I held myself back, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being right.
Fuck, yes he was. I knew all that was known, and somehow it wasn't enough at all. Why not? Why the fuck not. It should be. I reached my goal.
''None of your business, mr Napier. I did my job.'', I said professionally, trying my damn hardest not to let it get to me. This was easier than I thought, but the thought of having to let him rot in prison? It bothered me.
''Well, then you're damn good at it.'', he said with a slight chuckle that had an eerily undertone. ''I am going to miss our talks, Harleen.''.
Me too, but I could not admit that. At all. I knew he would escape eventually, and then it would be out for me. But fuck, if it didn't even slightly excite me.
I walked out with a sigh and saw him stare at me. Fuck. Fuck what did I get myself into. I was warned by him. Literally, fucking warned.
nsfw topics, tw for heavy kink at times, active threatening
As I got home from work, I quickly sat down and pulled out the notes. My heart was beating as I was trying to capture the thoughts about him.
Fuck. He was apparently really fucking fine. In an unhealthy manner. He would ruin the fuck out of my life and he would laugh about it. Most important of all, it is a patient of mine.
I kept trying to focus on and I yelled into my pillow as I couldn't help but keep thinking.
My mind went through the stages of intense desire. I felt myself dreaming about how his tattoos would feel on my skin, and I couldn't help but shiver at the thought.
I laid down on my bed as my hands went down to my panties. I stopped myself and sat up in focus. I couldn't help my thoughts, but hell, I would be admitting defeat if I ever admitted them to even myself.
The next morning, I walked in the dark hallway that at this point felt like home. I was tired from researching this damn man all night. God, I found so many details.
''Hello, mr. Napier.'', I sat down softly and couldn't help but see the slight annoyance on his face. I couldn't help but chuckle.
''You still won't call me Joker, mhm? Why not, Dr Quinzel, aren't you respecting the patient here?'', he asks in a teasing voice, trying to clearly get a rise out of me. I decided to answer for once.
I thought about my answer for a little while and couldn't help but see him look at me while I did. I knew how to play this game too, but I was unsure on whether this was even a smart idea.
Fuck, I studied criminals. I knew how they worked. You cannot just outsmart them, at all. It was a game you would always lose. But that was the fucked up part, I didn't mind it.
''No, this isn't about respect. I know you earned that damn title in the whole city of Gotham, but not in front of me. I don't just fear people, mr Napier. Not without them deserving it.'', I answered coldly yet calculated.
He paused for a second, taking in my answer as I let it out. His eyes looked darker, as if he was confirming that I just dared to disrespect him. Even worse, under a polite mask.
''Well, I think I can earn my way there. However, Harlequin, it isn't a fun game to lose. And I can tell you, it's a losing battle.'', he almost threatened, but had enough control in his voice. It took over the room in a manner I couldn't explain.
I sighed deeply and looked at him as he was trying to study my expressions, which I had to admit I had to hide. I wasn't sure why, but I was shivering.
''Not the goal. My goal is to diagnose you, first of all.'', I stated factually, trying to focus on the main points. I had to focus. I fucking had to.
A smirk appeared on his face, curiousity haunting his eyes. He clearly wanted to know, and there were a few things I had to say.
''So.. Tell me your observation, pumpkin.'', he asks in a curious was, trying to peak at my notes. I wouldn't let it happen.
''Well.. You are full of bullshit, to use curse words. You claim the insanity plea every single time, and it works. I think you are damn well aware what you're doing.'', I observed as I looked at the official paper. It was the same text, just phrased less obsessively.
He looked confused for a second at my words, not being sure how to reply. He never was called out this directly, but it clearly annoyed him. I liked that, though.
''To continue,'', I closed the silence. ''you are intelligent, which is a dangerous trait. All the crimes you have been caught for were due to the violence. But really, you must be a deeply disturbing person.''
''Thanks, pumpkin.'', he answered with a smug smile, making me side eye him within seconds. It was clear he wasn't going to change, not in the slightest.
I shook my head and looked at the document again and he smiles as he is probably replaying those words. Fuck, he was proud of it. So fucking proud, too.
''Not a compliment.'', I said sternly, somehow making him chuckle more. ''Besides, I have a few diagnoses in mind. But that will change up your whole part in the system. I don't believe you deserve your insanity plea.''.
Silence fell, and I couldn't help but hate the rules. My boss was clear I had to say this, something about human rights. But he? Oh he did not take it well.
His jaw was tensing up as he was trying to maintain his composure. Fuck, I still didn't regret a thing. My heart was beating in my chest as I couldn't help but see his eyes darken.
''No, no, I think you got that wrong. My insanity plea is clear, I don't know what I am doing.'', I looked him dead in the eyes and couldn't help but chuckle. Fuck, did he really try this?
He glared at me within seconds and I got myself together. Fuck, a slip up? Now?
''No. You are aware, I have seen all your crimes. You were aware of all consequences, actively trying to hide it even. Don't fucking bullshit me, Jack Napier.'', I maintained my strict composure to try and not let him win.
Fuck, he was fine when he was this angry. His jaw was clenched and his straight jacket was now the only obstacle between me and death. I should quit, but no. Fuck no. It would prove everyone right.
''Yeah.. You researched it. I wasn't planning on you finding out.'', he said in a bitter tone, spite working like a venom while he was talking. He admitted it, which quite frankly made me put my guard up.
Patient gets very angry when I threaten to take away his insanity plea. Visibly angry and if it wasn't for the straight jacket I would be dead.
''Yes,'', I continued speaking, trying not to show my mix of fear and adrenaline. ''I think it is important that people know what you are capable off. Well, most know.''.
My heart was beating even faster in my chest as he suddenly went a bit too quiet for my taste. He was thinking, again. His words gained control. This was a game to him, a game of back and forth.
And fuck, was it inviting. I wanted him to speak, just to know what was next up.
''And you are sure? You want to take the insanity plea away.'', he said, lowering his voice intensely as he was almost threatening me. Fuck. Me. Jack. Napier. Raw. And. Slow. Rough. ''I just think I need to give you time to rethink it. That's all.''
I sighed with a smile and professionally looked at him, my smile having a mischievously undertone. I promise I tried to hide him, but I wanted him to destroy me. Maybe I was just ovulating.
''Fuck... You really are thinking of doing this.'', he said, his voice getting more out of control. He was angry, got it. Perfect.
''Yeah. Needed to mention it, you know, rules.'', I said with a soft smile, clearly faking every ounce of professionalism in my voice. He was hot, I could not deny that. ''How do you feel about that?''.
He chuckled for a minute and couldn't stop. It filled the room, and I couldn't help but smile a little. Fuck. This was scarier, but that made it the most fun.
''Fuck, you should worry. Harleen Quinzel, isn't it. You are taking a risk.'', he said while looking at me and clearly trying to move out of his straight jacket. God. I wanted to give him head.
Focus, Harleen. Fucking focus, you are actively being threatened by a criminal. Fuck.
''Worry? Listen, I am here to do my job. You are one of the most infamous cases. If you think you can threaten me away like the rest. You are so fucking wrong.'', I said in a stern voice while I took notes.
Patient attempts to threaten me. Oops.
''Fuck. Harleen.'', he chuckled and I felt his eyes stare at me intensely. ''You are making a mistake.''
As I walked down the dark halls of the asylum, the feeling of annoyance lingered in my mind. It was clear no one wanted me here, for one reason or another.
Maybe it was blatant sexism, or even the fact that I had recently graduated. But I had damn well earned my spot here, and I was willing to do anything to prove it. Even this.
And then a spot opened up. The opportunity to treat the clown prince of crime himself. No one else had ever been able to even get him to talk, and I foolishly thought I could.
I saw the window and looked. He was sitting there, straight jacket on and clearly talking to himself. His eyes were focused on the room, while he was clearly analysing the guards.
I took a deep breath and walked into the room, and his eyes were focused on me all of a sudden. Shivers ran down my spine as I sat down.
''I am doctor Quinzel. Your new psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum.'', I introduced myself politely as I was sitting down in front of him. His ash green hair was down and he was having a calculated look on his face.
''Well.. You are another one that is going to give up soon.'', he said, his voice calculated as he was clearly on the edge of losing control.
Patient is clearly out of control. Trying to hold on to the last bit he has.
As I was writing it down, he looked at me curiously. I maintained my professional demeanor, only causing his face to lose more and more control.
''Well. How does it feel to be so out of control?'', I asked professionally, ignoring his attempt to distract me. ''You seem to lose composure.''.
He looked at me in surprise, quickly trying to not show it while he thought of an answer.
Patient thinking about answers for very long, may be an indication of wanting control. Could be either lying or limiting information to keep in control.
''Well.. I still am in control. The guards here are easy to make believe they fixed me. I just have to act right, ignore the voices and feed their ego.'', he said in a controlled tone.
Patient plays with people their egos a lot. Must be raised in a household where he had to be aware of emotions or on the psychopathy spectrum. Or both.
''Were your parents emotionally available?'', I asked straight up, making him surprised once again. He was looking away again, trying to get a sense of control back. His chuckles echoed in the room.
Patient officially lost it, I think?
''What do you think?'', he chuckled in genuine amusement. ''My father was an alcoholic, never really knew him as anything else than violent. My mother, she let it all happen.''
Abusive parents that taught him a lot of violence, may be cause for concern. Resentment to mother.
''Well.. I assume you resent them, how does it show up?'', I asked curiously as I was looking at him to analyse his body language. His shoulders were tense, and his eyes got darker in nature. His glare was filled with pain.
''It doesn't.'', he insisted, almost like it was a badge of pride he was wearing. I knew what he was going through, but had to keep professional. Besides, he would use any information he had on me.
Time flew by so quickly, and I had taken a few notes. They were all so vague, but made sense to me somehow. Little did I know I had to work harder to be taken seriously.
As soon as I sat down on my messy desk in the small studio apartment, I grabbed my laptop and typed his name in.
Jack Napier. Arrested for assault at such a young age, but known to be intelligent. A dangerous combo, I thought. I wonder what crimes people didn't know about.
Jack Napier.
Patient is usually in control, and seems to have been since a young age. Intelligence is high, so that is something to be considered. He must know how to play with people their emotions. Laughs when losing control.
I sighed and continued to research, finding myself curious. He was clearly good at what he did, and hell, he didn't look bad.
As I was trying to write down the notes I had, I realised the bit of being careful was towards me. Fuck, Harleen, not again.
Do you have any favourite headcanons about joker’s and harley’s relationship ?
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Hello dear anon! Thank you so much for the ask and I’m so sorry for this incredibly late response. And yes, I do! Here’s a few of them…
✧ Metaphorically speaking, Harley definitely wears the pants in the relationship and everyone knows it (lol). The Joker thinks it’s him, but all the henchmen are praying that he doesn’t die because if he does, that would mean Harley’s in charge, and no one wants to deal with Harley in charge. To those that know them best; the Joker might be scary, but Harley Quinn is terrifying.
✧ Joker hates the rare moments Harley grows distant and uncharacteristically quiet. It's not like her. She’s even more annoying when she’s sad. So he'll start cracking jokes and acting theatrically just to see her smile again. I mean, he is the Joker after all. She always catches on to what he's doing sooner or later, and she'll fight a grin because she's stubborn that way, but he'll notice the moment her eyes start to brighten and her lips twitch at his antics and so he tries a bit harder until they're both collapsing into maniacal fits of laughter.
✧ While the Joker does love Harley (as much as he can love anyone at least), he would never admit it. He hates that because of her, he cares so much about another person. I think he resents her a little, for making him feel something so human.
✧ When things start to get a bit too much, or he starts to feel a little too attached, it sends him into a bit of a spiral. He doesn’t want her here, he thinks, but no matter what he does, she just. Won’t. Leave. He thinks that all he wants is for her to go away, but then she does, and every time, he falls apart. When she finally comes back, he’ll act as though she never left, but later when they’re alone—and the darkness of their room feels like a shield against everything he doesn’t want to feel—he holds onto her silently (throughout those nights only) like he’s afraid she’ll disappear again if he lets go.
I’m such a sucker for the rare softer moments between them because they show a side of the Joker that only Harley ever really sees. Anyone else who sees would probably be shot dead on sight. Anyway, I hope this answered your question the way you were hoping! It does take me a while to respond to asks, but they are appreciated and I do always respond <3
