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we’re remodelling the kitchen and bringing it into the 21st century. super excited.
in other news i need to rob a bank.
advent calendars i have bought for my mom
nail polish ✅
jewellery ✅
24 beers i am now wrapping and will put in a basket ✅
i got sent a link to a post where some 81s are talking shit about me, calling me hateful and a birch for the way I talk to people, especially those who send me asks. I took a bit of time to think about it and i just want it to be known that while i do not tolerate people sending me anonymous hate, calling me a bitch, or talking about my child, i do in fact embrace people anonymously messaging me in every other way.
want to talk about lando or carlos? please send me a message. want to vent about racing or real life things? please send me a message. want to scream about a movie you just saw, a book you read, or a song you just heard? please send me a message. want to scream about carlando? please send me a message.
i may not be the quickest to reply (and i often forget and i’m truly sorry for that) but i will read it and probably giggle or nod my head and think about it for an embarrassingly long time afterwards.
the anonymous inbox is a beautiful thing when it’s used for good. so if you’ve got thoughts, feelings, chaos, theories, or emotional damage to share, my door is wide open.
just don’t be weird about my kid or call me names, yeah? otherwise, scream into my inbox all you like.
I know this is friendly territory (or just about) so I’m gonna have a little personal vent
Prefacing by saying that i I love my son more than life itself and I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
Having said that, being a solo parent is hard. It’s not harder than I thought it would be but actually preparing for it vs doing it is just a whole other ballgame.
I have zero time for myself. I spend the days revolving around him (he’s 8 months old so duh) and then when I think I can maybe relax during the evenings he starts refusing bedtime. For the past few days I’ve spent an hour breastfeeding him to sleep only for him to wake up 15 minutes later crying. I then take him to my bed where he spends the next two hours not falling asleep. If I put him back in the crib he starts crying and crying and crying.
All I want to do is just sit down and write. I had a story written, promised myself I wouldn’t start posting until after I finished it but like always I have zero self control and started posting when I had 14 chapters written thinking I would have time to finish it while posting what had already been written. Well I’m the fool cause I have one full chapter left to post and I haven’t written a god damn thing.
I was gonna do that tonight. Sit down with some sweets and just write. Instead, I’m in bed cause it’s 22:42, M has been asleep for ten minutes and he’s still almost EBF so he’s gonna wake at least twice tonight to feed and then be wide awake at 6 am like usually so I can’t stay up late otherwise I’ll be a zombie tomorrow. And literally no one around me gives a shit, talking about that’s just how it is when you have a baby while all the time they had a partner to help them with the difficult parts and here I am doing everything alone.
Anyways just had to get this off my chest even though I know no one will read this.
my dad passed away earlier today. nothing feels real. probably won’t be on here much cause it doesn’t seem important. will probably be reachable on discord (but maybe not who knows).
anyone ever feel like they’re so busy just always doing something but then look back and realise you haven’t accomplished anything? like i’ve felt so busy these past 6 months or so but all i’ve done every single day is just take care of a baby. i’ve done zero other things.
Thinking about when I was 20 and my boss asked if I knew this guy who’d applied for a summer job. I had a huge crush on him, so I basically did a TED Talk about how amazing he was.
She hired him.
In the first week he was supposed to mop the gym floor. He was shown how to do it. Instead, he dumped a bucket of water on it, let it soak, and took a nap.
My credibility never recovered.