BATTLE SCARS - PART I
Kai Parker x Reader word count: 4 343/ reading time: 16 minutes summary: Almost a decade into the future after Kai is left in a new Prison World, Reader is trying to get him back to the real world with the help of some of the most powerful witches history has ever known. *gif by me ________________________________
Having her world crash and burn before her eyes for the third time in a row these past few years was the last thing she had thought would happen. Thought hadn’t crossed her mind that it would be her friends, people she considered family, who caused it again. Especially since they knew how hard it was for her to make it through these past few years without him. A tear silently rolled down her cheek, her eyelids fluttering closed for a second. For four years every time she closed her eyes, she was right back at the wedding fiasco; his lifeless body laying on the ground before her, though his head was across the floor after Damon had killed him. A few seconds, she had only been a few seconds too late back then and it had happened again. The love of her life was back, against all odds, and she had lost him because of her friends who thought they were doing what was best for them and the people of Mystic Falls.
“How could you?” she opened her eyes, looking at her best friend and distant cousin Bonnie. “You know what he means to me –“
Bonnie took a few steps towards her, reaching to touch her hand but she pulled away. “I had to. Kai… he was too far gone this time. He tried to kill Lizzy and Josie and then went after Alaric –“
Lizzy and Josie, Y/N thought. Four years they had been the closest link to him she has had and now they were the reason he was gone again. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to blame them because it wasn’t their fault. “Kai never would’ve gone after them if the two idiot heroes hadn’t decided to bring him to the Armory! You are a witch, same as me. Don’t tell me you’ve never felt the magic there! Witches literally siphon it without trying. What did they think was gonna happen bringing a siphoner there?!”
“We needed the dagger to kill Cade –“ said Bonnie.
“And you got it! You got the freaking bone dagger! Why did you have to take Kai away and lock him up?!” Y/N jumped up to her feet, the lights all around them flickering more and more with each second. “We were leaving anyways. I was at the bar with him. I – I went to the bathroom, left him alone for 5 seconds and you—you took him away!”
“It was for the best –“
“Send me there.”
“No.”
“Please, Bonnie. I – I need to see him. One last time.” she pleaded. “I have to at least say goodbye to him.”
“You want me to send you there so you can get him free –“
“Bonnie –“
“I won’t let that happen. He is where he deserves to be –“
Y/N grabbed Bonnie’s wrists. “Send me there, Bonnie Bennett –“
“No.” he friend repeated. “There is no way I will unleash him on Earth after putting him when he should be. You are better off without him! Look at everything you’ve accomplished during those four years – you graduated college. Got a job you love. There was even this guy who seemed to be turning into something more. You have friends who care about you more than anything and then he came back –“
Y/N laughed. “Friends who care about me more than anything?” she put air quotes around the words. “Really? If that were true, I’d be in a car across the country with Kai right now. Or at least I’d have some closure after they allowed me to say goodbye this time. Oh wait – neither of you thought Kai and I deserved that! You always know best. Is that it?”
“Please Y/N –“ he friend pleaded with him. “You have to understand why I did what I did.”
“I understand. I understand you always saw Kai as a threat even though I know he never acted against you until you fired the first shot, wanting to leave him in 1994 when you sent Saint Damon back.” Y/N snapped, taking a step closer. “I understand that him stabbing you and leaving you there alone hurt like hell and I don’t blame you for wanting him to suffer. But what you went through is nothing compared to what he went through.”
“Did you really just –“
“Just listen to me and do something you should’ve done a long time ago. Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine being born in this family where everyone has powers but you. Then discovering you are something special, something that happens so rarely in the coven and instead of your family accepting you for being different… labeling you as an abomination –”
“Y/N –“
“–over something you have no control whatsoever in the first place! Imagine your parents deciding you are not fit to be a leader because you are different. Imagine the people who are supposed to love you no matter what replacing you with another set of twins and isolating you. I would’ve snapped. Anyone would’ve and I am in no way excusing his actions, but I understand why he did what he did.” Y/N wiped a tear from her cheek, noticing a slight change in Bonnie’s eyes. “Now imagine being sent in a magical prison by your own family, being forced to relive the same day over and over again. Spending 18 years completely alone. Not a few months. Two whole decades!” Y/N crossed her hands on her chest, feeling tears dropping to her arms. “How do you think he felt? No PTSD from the way he was being treated? For being abandoned? No nothing?!” Y/N shook her blinked fast, trying to stop the tears. Bonnie stared at her feet for a moment and looked up at her with the same defiance as ever. “None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t fired the first shot.”
“He murdered his siblings! It was his punishment –“
“Spare me. Okay? Damon has done worse and at the time, you thought he had killed a pregnant woman. Yet you sent him back?!” Y/N shrugged her shoulders in confusion. “You forgave Damon for nearly killing you. Forgave him for every stupid thing he has done to you. To all of our friends. Remember when he nearly killed Caroline? When his obsession with getting Katherine back resulted in Grams dying –“
“Stop–”
“ – and all the Tomb vampires being unleashed? And Kai? What about him? He knows he has made mistakes but he tried to make up for it. Bonnie, he nearly died to try and get you out of 1994! Meaning Liv almost died. Jo almost died. Every single Gemini almost died and he was willing to risk it just to get you back to your friends! I was there! Did he get a thank you? No. Then, when he tried to make it right again and help you and tweedle Dumber, you stabbed him in the back and left him alone. You left him alone!!!”
Y/N shouted, her scream colliding with a magic blast so hard all the windows and everything made of glass shattered around them in pieces. Her anger and every single emotion she felt was more than she could control this time. To find what your heart and soul has yearned for all your life, to lose it repeatedly, get it back by some spectacular miracle, and have it taken away by people who are your family? This betrayal hurt more than she could’ve fathomed.
“I can’t stay here.” she whispered more than herself than to Bonnie, who was just getting up from the floor. “I won’t. There is nothing left for me. Not anymore.”
“Where are you going?” her friend asked, watching Y/N run around her spall apartment; tossing clothes in a suitcase without even looking. “Talk to me.”
Y/N glared at her. “You know where.”
“Do you really think running away to New Orleans will fix things?”
“I’m not running away. I am leaving behind the people who left me behind on the most important decisions about my future. The Mikaelson’s might be dysfunctional but at least they stick together no matter what.”
Bonnie ran her fingers through her hair and reached in her pocket, pulling out the Ascendant. No part of her wanted to lose her friend after all the losses they had suffered. “You saw good in him, and there might be still some good left if he is capable of carrying for you in any way.” she thought back to what Kai had told her a little before she had left him. “I um, I’m sorry for putting you into so much pain. I’d hate to lose the only family I have left –”
Y/N’s eyes widened at the sight at the Ascendant. “Is that –“
“The Ascendant?” Bonnie waved it before her for a second. “Yes. You are right. You both are.” she said quietly. “You deserve to at least be able to say goodbye to him this time.”
Y/N’s lips twitched for a second at the thought of seeing him again. But how does one say goodbye to the person they love the most and then leave them behind to be stuck in a magical prison for all eternity? Alone? Even when she had said she just wants to say goodbye, a part of her knew she wasn’t being honest because deep down she knew – being trapped for all eternity with him would be less of a hell-ish experience for the both of them than living her life in the real world while he is there all alone. Saying ‘yes’, being sent there… it would be her only chance to get him back. But what if her friend was tricking her? What if… she could get him out on her own?
“Thank you, Bonnie.” she gave her friend a small smile and raised her hand in the air, pulling the Ascendant towards her with magic. A second later she muttered ‘Motus’, making Bonnie’s body fly against the wall before she fell down on the ground unconscious. Her fingers wrapped around the Ascendant and she smiled to herself, hardly being able to believe the key to getting the love of her life back was literally in her hands. “I’m gonna get you back. I promise. However long it takes.”
A FEW YEARS LATER
Y/N took a shallow breath, her lips moving almost silently as she muttered the spell while she held the Ascendant with one hand and allowed drops of her blood to fall down on it from the other. Sage burned around her, candles lit all around the small bell tower at the church where she and one of her closest friends were using as a space to practice magic in the Quarter.
It had been almost a whole decade since she left Mystic Falls behind and even though when she had arrived in New Orleans, things hadn’t been exactly how she had thought they would be, this had been the best decision she has ever made. Walking into the compound that day, she had found the Mikaelson’s in crisis and her plans to ask Freya for help, had been put on hold for a while. Though helping her friends never stopped her from trying to get Kai back.
At first she had tried on her own, again and again. Failing every single time. Later on Freya had joined her, telling her what she had known about spells resembling the Prison World spell. Years went by, barely sleeping, barely eating while she used every drop of her power to get to him. Holding onto the moments they had shared – remembering his smile, his eyes in complete detail. Making sure to retain every single imagine in her mind and not let any of the memories they had shared slip away.
As the first decade ended, a part of her felt completely shattered. There was no sense as to why she couldn’t go to the Prison World, why she and her best friend Freya Mikaelson couldn’t find their way in despite their tireless efforts. Her blood was supposed to be enough for the spell to allow her to at least see him and get a message that she hasn’t forgotten even for a second about him or how she felt about him. But it seemed nothing worked the way it was supposed to. All those eclipses, comets… and nothing.
“How long have you been at it this time?” Freya asked.
Y/N opened her eyes and looked at her friend, leaning against the wall. “About the same time you’ve been trying to get the Hollow out of your siblings. I just… I don’t understand –“ she glanced between her friend, who took a few steps towards her, and the Ascendant. “It’s supposed to work! I am a Bennett, sort of, but it should be enough for me to at least get a message to him. I–”
Freya took the Ascendant from her hands and left it on the table. “It’s not working because you are exhausting yourself. You need to rest, gather up your strength –“
“I can’t!” she grabbed the Ascendant again. “Freya, I – I spent four years mourning him. Acting as if I were getting better, convincing everyone else but myself and when he came back to me and I finally felt whole again, I lost him all over again. I don’t even know if he is alive in there.”
“He is.” her friend said reassuringly. “From what you told me, he was free from Hell before it got destroyed by your friends –“
“They are not my friends.”
“– and destroying the dimension shouldn’t have had any effects on him in the Prison World. He might be desiccated but other than that, he is alright. I feel it in my heart.” she smiled reassuringly. “I um, maybe we should ask Vincent for help.”
“Vincent? You want us to ask Vincent for help about how to let out a vampire/witch hybrid out of a Prison World after he massacred his entire coven and tried to kill two little girls?”
Freya glanced at her shoes. “When you put it that way, it doesn’t sound like the best idea. But yes?”
Y/N rolled her eyes in frustration and sighed. “He will try and kill him – wait.” she studied her face. “All this time and you never suggested that. Why are you suggesting it now?”
“I –“ Freya smiled nervously. “I spoke to Keelin. It’s been such a long while she I last saw her and actually could touch her, I just want to go be with her. Just for a couple of months. But I don’t want to leave you doing this alone and unprotected. New Orleans is not safe –”
Y/N’s lips curled up into a smile. “I won’t be doing this alone and I certainly wouldn’t be unprotected. I have Hayley and Hope is a phone call away. Maybe she has some wild idea about how I can get him back.”
“Oh, Hope has wild ideas.” Freya laughed; Y/N looked at her confused. “She got suspended for helping one of the Crescent boys at the School turn into a hybrid.”
“Yep, that would do the trick.” she laughed, her eyes widening a little. “So um, Hope is coming home?” Freya nodded; Y/N felt a spark of hope at the thought. “Maybe she overheard something or learnt something we haven’t figured out on our own –“
Freya sighed. “Y/N, I – Kai wouldn’t want you to spend your life trying to get him back. He’d want you to live it.”
“This isn’t for me. It’s for him.” she sat at the stairs, hiding her face in her hands for a moment. “His family rejected him for being an abomination, for something he had no say about whatsoever. Sounds familiar?”
“It does.”
“You told me about your time with Dhalia. How you longed for a real family. He never had anyone until we met and all he ever wanted was a family too. He found that with me and I can’t abandon him. What he and I have is… something that time cannot erase. Nothing can.” she pulled out her necklace. There was only one thing on it – one of Kai’s rings, which he had given her all those years ago. As long you have this, I will always be with you. he had said. You will never lose me. I promise. “And a part of me is trapped there with him. I have to get him out. Even if it kills me –”
Freya sat next to her, putting her arm around her shoulder. “There is nothing we wouldn’t do for the ones we love. But you need to rest, gather up your strength and tomorrow we try again. Also, I believe Hope would really want to see you.” she got up, holding out her hand. “Come on.”
“I have some cleaning up to do here.” Y/N got up, starting to pick up her things. “I’ll catch up. Promise.”
Freya stopped at the exit, muttered an ‘okay’ and left her to pick up her stuff. Only going after her to meet up with Hope and Hayley wasn’t Y/N’s first intention. Day in, day out she had been doing everything in her power to get the love of her life back. Giving up just wasn’t in her blood, neither was waiting or patience and the constant thought of him being alone there, possibly dead, wouldn’t let her rest.
“One more time.” she said quietly to herself, making another cut on her palm. “I can go see Hope afterwards –“
Blood dripped down the Ascendant and she started the spell allowing all her love for him to enhance her magic. Memories of the two of them together flooded her mind from all directions – his smile, his eyes; the way he always looked at her when they were alone and even when they weren’t. The feeling of his lips against hers, their bodies colliding… For a moment, she felt almost happy, then the world spun around her as she remembered how they had both been cheated out of their happy ending and she stumbled, falling on the ground.
Instinctively her hand reached towards her no doubt bleeding nose and that’s when she noticed it – the cool breeze, the street lights. She got up, took a few steps down the dark street and froze in place seeing the clock tower. Mystic Falls. Almost a decade away and she was back home, not exactly home home but close enough. Everything looked exactly the same as she had last seen it –
“Oh my God – I did it.” she smiled to herself, feeling tears run down her cheeks. “I DID IT! I’m here –”
Y/N jumped up and down like a little kid, barely able to contain her happiness in that moment. Might’ve taken her a decade but she had done it and she was about to see him again. Kai, she smiled wider. Her footsteps echoed in the empty town as she ran down the street, and another and another quite literally running towards where she knew he’d be. Like her heart was pulling her towards him, his ring around her neck glowing brighter with every second. She wondered what he’d look like, if he had changed or not. Would he pull her into his arms and never let her go, or think she were a hallucination like the countless ones he told her he had during his time in Hell?
She turned down the street and stopped in her tracks, realizing she was standing in front of her house. Nearly a decade since the last time she had seen this place, she had almost forgotten what it looked like. The large windows with the light blue flower curtains, the lights gleaming from the inside and the figure walking around, pacing. She ran up the porch and went inside, stepping into the living room and instantly looked for him but he wasn’t there. His footsteps up the stairs echoed in the empty house and she fought the urge to go after him.
He had been all by himself for so long, it would be such a surprise for him to find her there. She could almost see the look on his face when he sees her waiting for him downstairs. Meanwhile she looked around her old house. Seeing Kai’s things there felt so right, like that’s what her life was meant to be and once again she felt her heart being ripped out of her chest at the thought how she had been so close before she had been denied all of this.
As she looked around, she couldn’t help but notice the papers covering her usually completely clear desk and the wooden box with an unlocked lock on it filled with more papers, each folded like a letter with her name written on it. All except one. Her lips curled up into a smile at the sight of Kai’s writing and her eyes widened a little seeing the date. Same date as the day in the real world, the ink still wet on the paper –
Y/N, I miss you.
It has been almost 10 years since I last saw you and just like every day since I got free from that bar Bon Bon had me chained up in, I’ve been trying to get back to you. Obviously, I am still here but I will never stop trying. Not until you are back in my arms. That is all I want; to hold you in my arms again, to tell you how much I love you and every little thing about you. Because I do. I love everything, starting with the way you crinkle your nose when you are about to tell a lie to the way you nervously run your fingers through your hair and look away when you feel anxious or nervous about something. I miss this. I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts.
There is nothing more painful that I can imagine than being without you and now… I feel like I am back in Hell, only not Cade’s hellfire version but the real Hell. A world without you. This house, your house, is the closest thing to being with you I have. It’s the only place in this God forsaken town that feels like home. That’s why I chose it and moved in, like we talked so many times. I would love waking up next to you every day, and sometimes I think that’s exactly what happens. I can almost see you smile, feel you snuggle towards me… Hear you say my name.
You are the only thing keeping me from shutting it off or trying to kill myself again – I am not entirely sure I’d come back this time, if the rules are the same. You are not even here and you are still my anchor to humanity. How is this possible? Perhaps because you are everywhere in this house. And the single hope that one day, just one day I might find my way out of here and be reunited with my heart and feel whole again is enough. For now …
God, what wouldn’t I do to see you right now for real, not just as a hallucination. To know that you are okay and you are happy, living your life. But I know you well enough to know you, my little witch, are doing everything you can to get here and get me out.
Y/N smiled through tears.
Maybe one of us will succeed. Until then, I will keep writing those letters until I find a way to send them over to you. To let you know I am… okay. I’m alive. And I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you for a second and I will love you forever regardless if we get to be together again. I will love you for all of eternity, Y/N.
“You remember this, don’t you?” she heard her own voice, followed by her laughter. “Come on, Kai. Just one more time. You know how much I love seeing you do this. Please?”
“Argh, you and those puppy dog eyes.” Kai said. “No. No stop it.”
“Please?” she smiled. “For me?”
Kai sighed. “You are such a child. I just… Come here.“ Both of them laughed on the small screen, falling on the ground a moment later. “Why am I still in love with you?”
Y/N tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled his lips towards hers. “Because you and I were made for each other and you love it when I am being silly – “
“I love you. Period.” he said in sync with video-him. “I will love you forever.”
Y/N wiped the tears from her cheeks, left the letter back in it’s place and took a few steps towards him unable to find her voice. There he was, walking down the stairs with his phone in his hands, smiling at the screen though his smile was a little different than the sunshine smile she was used seeing on his face. There was happiness in it but also sadness and the weight of a broken heart. He was wearing similar clothes he had when she had last seen him – grey jeans and a dark grey t-shirt and the way he moved when he moved down the stairs towards her. No one should look that good going down the stairs, she thought, feeling her heart stop. Seeing him again, being in the same room as him… for the first time in years she felt whole again.
All this time that had passed and even though he shouldn’t have aged, and technically he hadn’t, he looked older. His hair was messy, dark circles lurked under his eyes; his skin was paler than usual and his eyes? His eyes were red and puffy as if he had been crying, filled with so much sadness and pain, her heart broke. All she wanted to do was to wrap her arms around him, heal every battle scar on his soul/heart and never let him go.
“Kai?”
Time seemed to stop around her. Barely a heartbeat passed before he took a step towards her and walked straight through her. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion and she turned around, trying to get his attention again when she noticed the blood dripping down from her nose and onto the carpet. Instinctively her hand reached towards her nose and she wiped it as best as she could, trying to take a step towards him when she fell on the ground.
________________________________________ MASTERLIST- SMUT ‘17 / MASTERLIST- SMUT ‘18 MASTERLIST- FLUFF ‘17 / MASTERLIST - FLUFF/ANGST ‘18