What's this? A fic from me? Yes. Yes it is. Not promising I'll be posting more regularly, but good God it felt nice to be able to write again and actually enjoy it. Also the boredom of being stuck in a hospital bay with 3 80 year olds who want to talk to me about their life stories has definitely made me want to find anything other than that to do to keep me from losing my mind.
Enjoy some cute fluff, no emeto, just fluff. All the fluff.
Simplicity
It still felt surreal to be finishing a shift to be heading to Jessie's apartment and not his. Over the last three weeks of their move from friends to not-a-couple-but-together, he'd spent more time away from his own space than he ever had. Not that they always stayed at Jessie's place, many days and nights had been spent at his, but it was still more than a homebody like Kai could imagine ever being comfortable with. But he was so undeniably comfortable, more that comfortable really, because he got to spend all his free time with Jessie.
"Hey, good shift?" Jessie asked as he entered, using *his own key* that Jessie had cut.
"Mm, tolerable at best." He replied as he hung his keys by the door and moved into the living area. Jessie was sat cross-legged on the couch in his patchwork Harem's and what looked suspiciously like one of Kai's hoodies, hunched over his laptop with a case file beside it.
"Uh, Jess, you finished work-" He looked at his watch, "- 4 hours ago, what are you doing?" He questioned as he slid onto the couch beside him, thighs almost but not quite touching.
"Finalising some details. I have to present a case to the committee in the morning to justify why I don't think reunification with this kids mom is right for them at the moment. It's going to be brutal, so I want to make sure I've dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's." He sighed, running a hand through his long hair that for once wasn't hiked up into a bun.
"Sounds rough." Kai sighed back. The more time he's spent with Jessie, the more of a perfectionist he's established he is. Knowing that he wouldn't get his full attention until he felt his case was solid, Kai stood and headed to the kitchen.
"Steak or burgers?" He called across the room as he stuck his head in the fridge to look for ingredients.
"Whatever you want!" Came the most unengaged reply, and Kai scoffed fondly, pulling the ingredients out of the fridge and watching Jessie typing furiously with a cute scrunched up expression. This was his favourite part about Jessie's open plan apartment, he got to openly watch him from wherever he was, even when cooking.
By the time he'd finished, Jessie was packing his laptop back into his bag and standing with a long stretch.
"Smells good." He commented as he crossed the room, causing Kai's heart to beat faster, the way it always did when Jessie approached. God, he was whipped.
"As long as it tastes as good as it smells." He grinned, handing Jessie a plate, their hands brushing together.
The last three weeks, they established an unspoken agreement about touch. One that supported both Jessie's need to be in control of it whilst also negating Kai's anxiety about doing something wrong. Gentle, slightly unexpected contact like this was fine. Expected contact was fine in all the forms they'd covered so far, like cuddling and hand holding, though this was still something that was entirely private and only in their homes. That suited Kai fine, as PDA was something that made him uncomfortable anyway. But anything more than that? That was still a grey area. Jessie had made it very clear that he wanted to go slow, and that was absolutely fine with Kai, but he couldn't lie and say that the urge to pull the man in to kiss him wasn't becoming harder to ignore. But he would. Hell, if there was one thing Kai was good at, it was controlling his outward emotions and needs to others. Life had taught him that doing so was the only way to survive.
"You're in your head, you know that?" Jessie hummed softly from beside him on the couch as he finished off his burger. He hadn't realised he'd been silent so long.
"Sorry. Just thinking." He shoved a fry in his mouth.
"About?" Jessie pressed, hand resting on the side of Kai's thigh in a way that sent electricity shooting through him.
"Us." He said after swallowing.
Jessie quirked an eyebrow, trying to pass his expression off as quizzical. But Kai had become an expert in Jessie's micro-expressions.
"Nothing bad!" He scoffed, watching as the attempted hidden anxiety fell from the other man's face.
"Oh yeah? What about us?" Jessie's smile was genuine, warm.
"About how much I like what we've established. How having no expectations has been far more freeing than I ever thought it could. I've not been this happy...well... ever." Jesus Christ his mouth was running and his brain was not engaging, the sappy emotions spilling from his soul unwittingly.
Jessie's face went his favourite shade of pink, causing Kai to smirk in satisfaction at flustering him.
"I... well... yeah. Same" Jessie stumbled over his words, putting his plate on the coffee table and melting into Kai's side.
Kai practically tossed his plate down too, pulling Jessie close to his chest and burying his face in his hair, breathing in the familiar citrus mixed with slightly woody scent of his shampoo. Words that just three weeks ago wouldn't have been part of Kai's descriptive vocabulary until Jessie had introduced him to his vast collection of eco-friendly, all natural, and probably filled with holy water, body products.
They sat silently a while, him just allowing himself to relax into the scent when Jessie spoke.
"I want to tell Jay."
He stiffened involuntarily, only for a fraction of a second, but enough for Jessie to pull away to stare at him, his baby blue eyes boaring into his.
"You don't want to?" He sounded a little hurt.
"I absolutely did not say that. I'm just surprised, is all. I thought you wanted to keep this just between us until... well until we knew what this was." Kai pulled Jessie back against him, hand playing with his hair.
"I know I said that. But keeping him in the dark, especially with something that makes me so happy? It feels... like a betrayal of his friendship." He felt the loaded sigh as Jessie nuzzled deeper into his grip.
"Then tell him." Kai shrugged, because honestly? He wanted more than anything for everyone to know. To be able to tell Lyla and Hope. To have people he could openly gush about Jessie with.
"And you're okay with that? Even if we haven't... fully established what our relationship is, that it doesn't have a typical name for it?" Jessie asked, pulling away once again to stare at Kai's face.
He met his stare with an eye roll.
"Of course I'm okay with that. I want you to be okay with it. And I don't want you to do it because you think it's what I want, or what Jay would want. All I care about is what will make you happiest. And we don't need a stupid label to define what we have right now."
Jessie's face broke into the happiest smile Kai had ever seen, and he moved his hand to cup Jessie's cheek and traced his thumb down his jaw line.
"You," Jessie said, his own hands moving to Kai's face, " are such a sappy bastard deep down, you knwo that?"
He lowered his head into Jessie's hands, relishing in the contact.
"Don't tell a soul." He teased.
"It can be our secret." Jessie's face was closer now, he could feel his breath against his face. He looked up, the close proximity making it impossible to not be staring at his lips. Longing for the time Jessie was ready for that level of contact, whenever it...
Soft lips brushed against his, and he couldn't help the involuntary breath of shocked excitement that escaped him. He met Jessie's eyes. They were sparkling, nothing but pure happiness in them, until they closed and Jessie's lips returned to his less cautiously than before. He closed his own eyes and completely melted into the kiss. Because this, right here, was the best moment of his life.
Look...I don't HATE it... it's also not quiet where I thought it was going. I'm happy enough with it to post. Ready to try and get more fics written when the burnout passes/I actually have a second to do it without the crushing guilt that there's other things I should be doing.
The Turn of the Tides
Jess woke up the next morning, the sound of shuffling footsteps jolting Jessie back into his body and out of the blissfully dark and dreamless sleep he'd been in. It took him a minute before he remembered where he was. And when he remembered that he remembered why he was there. And then what had happened. That thought alone made him consider keeping his eyes closed and pretending to still be asleep. If he ignored the sounds of Kai shuffling in the adjoined kitchen long enough, he'd retreat back to bed and Jessie could keep the incoming conversation away longer. Keep things just how they were a little longer.
"I know you're awake. You're picking at your fingers." Kai's rough voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he sighed, knowing he'd been caught. Jessie opened his eyes and sat, his gaze settling on Kai, who was leaning against the kitchen island.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, ensuring to keep his already overwhelming anxiety of the upcoming conversation out of his tone.
"Like I've been repeatedly kicked in the stomach and had acid poured down my throat. Fevers gone though, small mercies." Kai answered, his own voice not hiding the waiver in it, the uncertainty as he spoke. As if walking on eggshells.
Any illusions that things could just go back to how they were before yesterday, even if Jessie wasn't completely sure that's what he wanted, shattered with that voice. A voice so unlike Kai.
"Uh.. good. That's... that's good." Jessie mumbled, eyes looking back to his lap. This was awkward. Painfully awkward. Tiptoeing around eachother in a way they hadn't since they first met. It hurt his heart.
"Jess..." Kai was suddenly on the couch opposite him.
"Yeah. I know." Jess sighed, filling in the uncomfortable silence that followed his name.
"I... I don't know what I can say to fix this." Kai admits, and Jessie sighs again because that's exactly what his sentiments were.
"Look. I... Kai. I don't know what I can say. I'm not... I never thought I was...but I do
....I don't understand it... I feel... I want..." He stutters, tripping over his words. Even to his own ears they sound pathetic and lack any of the sincerity he's desperately trying to convey.
"I know. God I know. And I'm so sorry I've put you in this position. I never meant to tell you because it's my problem, not yours. It's not your fault how I feel about you, especially when I know the feelings aren't reciprocated. Not in that way. I... I'm so so sorry Jess."
Kai's eyes were trained on his lap, his voice sad. More broken than Jessie ever thought was possible from the man.
Jessie's heart clenched, because this was his fault. Not only was it his fault, but after having the night to think about how he felt about Kai, he still didn't have a response that felt right. Because he didn't even know himself what he was feeling. What he was thinking. It was overwhelming and he just wanted to beg Kai not to abandon him regardless of what happened. He couldn't lose Kai. It wasn't something he'd be able to survive.
He cleared his throat, trying to clear the tightness of emotions so he could speak. When that didn't work he coughed properly. And after that didn't help, he suddenly couldn't breathe at all. His hand flew to his chest, pulse racing as all of the oxygen in the room disappeared.
"Woah. Jess? Jessie come on man, breathe." Kai was suddenly much closer, less than 2 feet away from him. His reaction was immediate, one entirely of instinct and panic, not the controlled and contented reaction he'd developed to Kai being physically close. He stood abruptly, moving from the sofa and backing against the wall. Trapped. He was trapped and he couldn't breathe and his whole body was screaming to run. Run away. Don't stop just run.
Instead he crumpled to the floor, hands above his head, waiting to protect himself from the blow that was coming.
"....it's okay....not going to move... safe...won't hurt you... breathe..." the words swam in and out of his ears, his brain barely processing the actual words at all, but seeming to pause at the voice. Because it wasn't right. That wasn't a voice of one of the people who had hurt him. Even in his panic his brain registered that. Despite his ragged breathing and the panic rolling through him like the crashing of the tide, he forced himself to try and focus on the words being spoken.
"You're safe, Jess. You're here, in my apartment. It's just us. No one else. No one here will hurt you. I promise."
Kai. His brain slowly worked out who was talking. Moving at a snails pace from the overwhelming edge of tipping into a full-blown flashback to a more typical panic attack. He slowly, painfully slowly, managed to lower his hands and look up at Kai. His chest was aching. He felt deprived of oxygen, but he kept his eyes locked with Kai's.
"There. That's it Jess. You're doing so so well." Kai's hands were raised, palms open in surrender. He'd made himself as small and un-threatening as possible, which isn't easy for a 6'3 built like a mountain man to do. He slowly moved, Jessie flowed his movements as he very slowly and deliberately crouched to the ground. "I won't hurt you Jessie. Ever. Not like that."
Jessie's chest hurt. His ears started to ring as his body struggled with the lack of oxygen it was receiving. Tears were streaming down his face and God he just wanted it to stop. Yesterday everything was perfect and now it's not. It's not and it's never going to be the same again.
"Jess. Come on man. Out of that brain of yours and back into the room for me." Kai's tone was firmer this time. Not harsh or reprimanding, just solid and steady.
Jessie looked back up, eyes meeting his again.
"Kai....can't. Can't breathe..." He gasped, hand moving back to his throat, clawing at it in desperation.
"Hey, no. Don't hurt yourself Jess. You can breathe." The concern that laced Kai's tone made it through the panic, and Jessie latched onto it.
"Can I move closer?" This was the first time Jessie heard hesitance in his friends voice in the last few minutes, and he couldn't blame him. He'd reacted like a feral animal.
He nodded ever so slightly, still gasping for breath. Kai stayed low, moving to sit on the ground and shuffling slowly closer. It would have been almost comical in any other situation to see someone so big try and move so cautiously. They were both watching eachothers movements, Jessie's eyes searching for any signs of danger, and Kai's for any sign of increased distress.
Jessie felt his body stiffen against his will when Kai reached that same 2 foot distance, and Kai stopped immediately.
"Okay. Here's fine. Jess, you need to try and slow your breathing down, okay? Watch my chest, breathe with me."
He tried, the first attempt leaving him spluttering.
"Good. I know it's hard but you're doing so well. You are so strong. Try again. In....good. Out... there. Good. Keep going."
His eyes were trained on Kai's chest as it rose and fell, trying hard to match his breathing. But it was hard when his brain was still prickling with memories of the past, determined to pull him back into memories he didn't want to relive.
"Okay. I wanna try something okay? I'm guessing you're brain feels trapped, stuck in a loop of trying to pull you into the past?"
He managed a weak nod at Kai's question.
"Okay. Well let's get your brain grounded in the here and now. Can you tell me five things you can see?"
Jessie could have laughed if he wasnt feeling so fucking broken, because God this was exactly what his therapist use to do with him after a flashback.
"You..." He said, breathing raggedly after, "couch...floor...window... table."
"Awesome job. 4 things you can touch?" Kai's voice was warm. So warm and comforting.
"The...the floor. The wall... My...my jeans..." He trailed off before continuing, "my hair. It's on my face." His breathing was much more controlled, and he could feel his body relaxing, even if only minutely. His brain was catching back up to reality. He was here. In Kai's apartment. He was safe.
"Nice. Now, 3 things you can hear." His voice was so steady and grounding.
"My heart in my ears, you talking, that stupid clock you have that ticks too loudly."
Kai snorted at that.
"Leave my clock out of this. Glad we've moved onto full sarcastic sentences. Two things you can smell."
Jessie felt his body relaxing, his thoughts slowing down to a tolerable swirling. This was working, as it usually did when someone else guided him through it. And the fact that Kai was so solid and grounding. After everything from the last 15 hours, it felt almost...well, really nice that this was something Kai was willing to do for him despite how he'd reacted. He didn't deserve this.
"Jessie, out of your dumb fucking head and tell me two things you can smell." His tone was soft, a hint of cautious teasing.
"That nice everglade candle thing you have, and... well... you."
Kai laughed and rolled his eyes dramatically.
"Yeah bet I smell wonderful, and definitely not like a sweaty sick person."
"You smell fine. It's your washing powder or whatever, always smells really good." Jessie scoffed slightly, then paused, because yeah...he really had been paying enough attention to Kai lately that he noticed and enjoyed the scent of his clothes.
"We can go for one thing you can taste if you want, but you seem pretty grounded to me." Kai mused, head resting against the wall but tilted towards him so he could see his face. He was smiling gently, a gentleness that Jessie had never seen from him. It made him feel warm.
"We don't have to talk if you don't want to Jess. I understand okay. This isn't your problem to fix, this is on me, and nothing needs to change. I'm a big boy, I can manage my own feelings."
"No, I want to talk about it Kai. I have so much to say and I need you to hear it, not just listen but really hear what i am saying. No interruptions even if I say something you don't like." He studied Kai's face, and when he gave a minute nod for him to continue, he took a deep breath, eyes trained on his lap.
"This... it's complicated. Hella complicated. I... I guess... having the night to think and reflect. I guess I do notice you in a different way than my other friends. And I... I do care about you. A lot. And I've never thought about liking men, it's never come up for me. But then, I've never really been attracted to anyone, not really. I always assumed when the time came I'd feel it, and then when it never happened? I... I thought I was just broken. That no one could feel that way about me, so I couldn't feel like that about anyone else either. I just stopped seeking that kind of connection, and never thought about it again because it's never come up. But you're telling me you feel that way about me... I... I'm so scared I'm just going to fuck everything up. I've never been in a serious relationship, I don't know how to have a serious relationship. I can't always let people get close to me, some days the thought of anyone touching me in any way is too much. You deserve better than that. Someone not damaged. Someone who knows what they want and how to respond correctly. And you, well, you're so secure in your sexuality, you've had relationships, had partners, and I'm... I'm going to disappoint you..." He trailed off as the tears started to slip down his cheeks, silence filling the room.
"Can I talk now?" Kai asked eventually, his husky voice barely above a whisper, which had Jessie's eyes immediately on his face again. Kai was crying too. Actual tears running down his face. He'd never seen Kai show anything close to tears, so seeing him actively crying smashed his heart into tiny pieces. He wanted to reach out. Wipe the tears away. God he wanted to do that so much. This was all so new and confusing.
"Y...yeah" He said, instead keeping his hands firmly to himself.
"I hate the way you think about yourself. You're wrong. You make yourself out to be this awful person, constantly ready to be a disappointment. But Jessie, you're not. You are one of the kindest, most patient people I know. I didn't make getting to know me easy, hell I spent so much time refusing to hang out with you or Jay unless both Lyla and Hope were there, because I was so jealous of you two. Especially you. Because you were so genuine, so eager to help and make everything good for everyone else, zero flaws. At first I hated it. It was everything I wished I was. And then I got to know you more, and the cracks started. Not because that's not who you are, but because of why that's who you are. And that made you more human. And being more human is what drew me to you, because I saw myself. I hide behind attitude and being cold, but you hide behind making everything okay for everyone else other than yourself. It's different but the routes are the same. We hate who we are. But Jess... I want to be a better person when I'm around you. You bring out a part of me I wish was who I could always be. I don't care that you haven't been in a relationship. I don't care what you do or don't know how to do. I just care about what you want. Not what you think I want you to want. Not what you think will make this easier on me. What you want."
Jessie sat in stunned silence. What did he want? He didn't want to lose Kai. Ever. He didn't want them to drift apart. He wanted Kai to be there for everything life would throw at him. But did he want a romantoc relationship with him? He didn't know. It wasn't a clear cut no, neither was it a glaringly obvious yes. It was this weird middleground of not knowing what that would look like, what that would entail. How he could navigate it when he wasnt sure what he even wanted. How could he put into words how that felt?
"I... I know I don't want to lose you." Is what fell out of his mouth.
"And that won't happen." Kai reassured him instantly, "no matter what, I'm not going anywhere."
He nodded, because he believed him. He wasn't going to up and leave. This was entirely Jessie's choice.
"I think... I mean I don't know what I think really... but... maybe... maybe we could go slow? It'll probably be painfully slow for you. But I just... I need to work out what I want. What I feel. Because I do like you Kai. I really like you. I'd just never considered it as anything more than a really close friendship. But I feel like the lines have blurred. That I don't know if this is friendship or more. Because I don't know what that feels like."
Kai smiled gently, he'd wiped his tears away and the softness in his expression made Jessie melt just a little.
"Slow is fine. Slow is perfect. I ever move to fast? Tell me. I won't make you make every first move, but I won't initiate anything I can sense you're not ready for. And if I do, you tell me. No hiding it just so I don't feel bad. That's a ground rule. You do nothing that you don't want to." Kai held out a hand midway in the small space between them, offering not demanding.
His eyes looked at the hand, the usually steady hand that was now trembling, and took it in his, intertwining their fingers together and squeezing tenderly. And in that moment, everything just felt right.
Don't hate me. It's all gonna be... fine? Maybe. Idk. Apologies for any mistakes, etc. I'm on day 10 of an ear infection that spread to my facial nerve and had a fever on and off for the last 10 days. Finally felt well enough today to actually write and not just lay in bed, unable to move without getting dizzy. It's not perfect, but it's leading us right into the Kai/Jessie arc for the next few fics.
Kai knew this was coming. After the influx of stomach virus patients into the peadatric unit, it was inevitable. But still, when he felt the early signs of illness, the mild body aches and general unease in his stomach he powered through. It could be lingering anxiety from Hope's appendicitis incident last week. Or, he could just be exhausted from working and then spending his time off hovering around Hope and Jay's house, despite Hope telling him multiple times in no uncertain terms, she was fine. Or, as his stomach gave yet another warning churn that sent prickles across his face, he really was sick.
He sighed, palming at his stomach for the millionth time that shift. One more hour, that's all he had to get through, and then he could go home and be miserable.
"Dr Lindsay? Patient in room 307 is complaining of stomach pain." June, one of the peads nurses said.
Same Kai thought with an internal scoff.
"I'll go examine them, 307... stomach virus admitted for dehydration, correct?"
"Kai that describes 80% of our ward right now." June snorted, handing him the patient file.
"And the staff." Kai muttered under his breath as he headed to the room.
"Hi there, I'm Dr Lindsay, and you must be Tyler." He smiled warmly at the young boy on the bed before him.
The boy nodded, eyeing Kai warily.
"Are you Mom?" He turns to the woman and the bedside with another smile. Fuck his muscles ached, even smiling was painful right now, but he ignored it.
"Yes. Tyler says his stomach's been hurting more and he can't get comfortable." The woman said with worried eyes. Kai turned back to Tyler.
"Can I give you a quick once over? Nothing scary, I'm just going to feel you stomach and then see if I can get you something to feel better okay?"
The boy nodded and Kai continued with the exam. The boys stomach was churning beneath his hands, not much unlike Kai's was right now too.
"Nothing feels worrying, I'll get the nurses to push some paracetamol through his IV for the discomfort." Kai smiled as he straightened up from the exam, only to be hit with a wave of dizziness. He grabbed the bed railing in what he hoped was an inconspicuous way, steadying himself before offering another reassuring smile and leaving the room.
By the time he'd made it to the nurses station and sent through his order for the kids meds, his stomach had decided it was time to move from vaguely uncomfortable and churning, to a full on assault. He swallowed thickly, pressing his head against the desks and taking slow measured breaths.
"Dr Lindsay? Kai? Hey, what's wrong?" June was now crouched by him, one hand on his pulse point and the other on his back.
"I'm fine." He mumbled, raising his head.
"Yeah, if you were fine, you'd have swatted my hands off you by now. You're burning up, pulse is a little quick, and you're pale. I may not be a doctor, but I know a sick person when I see one. Go home."
He wanted to argue. Remind her that he literally had 30 minutes until his shift ended. But that argument died on his lips as he felt his stomach finally rebel, sending burning liquid up his throat. He stood, all but sprinting to the nearest bathroom and collapsing on his knees as the first wave spilled out of his mouth. It was so violent he could feel the burn as it came out of his nose. Kai heaved for what felt like forever, but was really just a few minutes, before he flushed and flopped back against the wall with a groan.
"Fuck." He grumbled, wiping his mouth on the back of his white coat, germs be damned.
Pulling himself up, he made his way over the the sink to wash his mouth. When he caught sight if himself in the mirror he grimaced. His dark skin was ashen, covered in a gross sheen of sweat, and he just looked generally awful. He splashed some water over his face before heading out of the bathroom.
June was stood on the opposite wall, bottle of water in hand which she pushed to him.
"Well, that was certainly a dramatic sprint. Go home Kai. You've just earned yourself 48 hours off at least, no returning until you're 48 symptom free. No arguments. Get gone."
"Aye aye captain." He mumbled with a mock salute before heading towards the parking lot.
Every step sent waves of nausea through him, and by the time he got to his car he knew it was game over. He leant against the trunk, head resting on the cold metal to ground himself but to no avail. The first heave was empty, but spasmed through his entire body. The second was productive, bringing up whatever was left from earlier. By the third heave, his whole body was trembling all over. When he finally felt done, he sat in his car with his forehead pressed against the steering wheel. He wasn't completely stupid. He knew he shouldn't be driving like this, he could feel his fever rising and his stomach still hadn't stopped churning like a fucking washing machine. He should call someone, but he didn't have anyone to call. Hope was at home resting, Jay was with her and there was no way in hell he was risking passing this on to Hope when she was still recovering. Lyla was in Atlanta for work, so that ruled her out. That left one person. Jessie. And calling someone who gets sympathy sick whilst you have a stomach bug? Even Kai wasn't that mean. Except he didn't exactly have any other options unless he wanted to risk throwing up in an Uber. Though, through his feverish mind, he did remember he had Lyla's emesis bags in the car. Maybe he could just take them with him and pray to all of the God's out there that he didn't need them.
With a groan he pulled out his phone, ordering an Uber to the front of the hospital. The biggest flaw with that was, of course, that he now had to actually get to the hospital entrance. He grabbed a handful of emesis bags then pulled himself out of the car. It took a second for everything to stop spinning but once it did, he started the trudge to the front of the hospital.
By the time he got there, the Uber was already there, which he was grateful for. He slumped into the back, mumbling a hello to the driver before promptly burying his head in his hands. Deep breaths, don't puke, was the mantra running through his head. His apartment was only a 15-minute drive, but he wasn't sure he was going to make it. Opening one of the bags, he held it discreetly under his chin. The last thing he wanted was to get booted out of the Uber when he was so close to home. More deep breaths, in through the nose out through the mouth, he reminded himself. The minutes felt like hours, his stomach constantly threatening to expel anything that was left in it the whole time, but he made it. As the Uber pulled up to his apartment building, he threw the driver a cash tip before bolting out of the car. He made it all of three steps before heaving, hands planted on his knees as nothing but stomach bile came up. His stomach seemed to think there was more in their though, because it lurched again and again. Each heave was drier than the previous but more painful. His heart hammered in his chest, and his breath caught, making him cough too. He stumbled sideways, hand searching the air for the bench he knew was somewhere in the vicinity. His hand finally hit the cold metal, and he sank onto it with his head hanging between his legs as he desperately gasped for air in between each dry heave until it slowed down to an eventual stop.
Fuck this was not good, his brain catching up with what had happened. He slowly raised his head, making sure no one from his building had witnessed the last mortifying few minutes. No one was around, and the thought of being caught out like this was enough to give him the energy to get to his apartment.
Once inside Kai collapsed into bed, not before grabbing the bin and taking a sip from the bottle of water June gave to him, and forced his eyes closed in an attempt to sleep the rest of the bug off.
Seconds, minutes, hours, who knows, certainly not Kai, passed before he was awoken by a loud knocking at the door.
He groaned, mostly at the rude awakening but also because he felt worse than before he went to sleep. Okay, his stomach was churning less, but his whole body was shivering so hard that moving to get the door was almost too much. He stumbled to the door, pulling it open with a dazed look.
"Kai! Holy fuck you look horrendous."
He looked up at the man before him, eyes struggling to remain focused on his face.
"Jess?"
"Yeah. What the hell man, what happened?"
Before his could brain could process the question, let alone formulate an answer, he felt hands on his biceps and he was dragged to the couch.
"Why you here?" He finally managed, fever glazed eyes trying to study Jessie.
"Because we were meeting for dinner and you never showed? Then didn't answer my calls?"
Calls? Huh. Kai hadn't heard his phone ring once. Where was his phone? Fuck he hoped it wasn't still in the uber. Ugh all this thinking was hurting his brain.
"Sick." He huffed in what he hoped was a macho and stoic as possible way.
Jessie laughed, actually laughed at that.
"Yeah no shit. Kai you're still in your scrubs and coat." He felt a hand press gently into his forehead, "jeeze you're burning up. Right. Changed, meds, bed."
The same two hands grabbed him again, and this time he fought against them slightly.
"No. Jess, I'm sick sick." He grumbled, pulling away as his stomach decided it was time to roil again.
"Like puking? Great. Wonderful. Well, you try not to puke, and I'll offer you the same courtesy." Jessie huffed as he continued to drag Kai into his bedroom.
He wanted to argue, tell Jessie he was absolutely fine and could look after himself, he was a doctor after all. But as he opened his mouth to relay his thoughts, they somehow got lost in the travel from his brain and replaced by a disgusting deep belch.
"Shit. Fuck. Okay, aim for the bin, aim for the bin!" Jessie's panicked voice cut through the end of the burp, and he felt the bin being shoved into his hands as the next burp turned into a heave. He was empty, once again bringing up a measly amount of stomach acid and thick saliva.
"Alright, get... get it- uurk- up." Jessie's hand was rubbing his back in shaky circles.
He gagged again, this time bringing up a little more stomach bile than before.
"Fuck -uuurkk - Sorry." Jessie's hand was gone, and even through the vomiting he could hear his footsteps sprint out of the room.
His stomach decided that last expulsion was all that was left, and Kai was just alert enough to tie up the liner in the bin before collapsing back onto the bed with a violent shiver.
He didn't know when Jessie re-entered the room, but he felt a hand back on his forehead, and he groaned and lent in to the coldness of it.
"Jesus Kai. You're so hot. Come on, let's get those clothes off you and cool you off."
Jessie was wrangling his hospital coat off before he even responded, and he was just with it enough to open his eyes as his scrub top was yanked over his head roughly.
"Here." Jessie said, eyes meeting Kai's as a cold wet towel was placed on his head.
"Tha's no' how I pictured tha'" He slurred, brain fuzzy as he looked back into Jessie's eyes with a small frown.
"What?" Jessie had genuine confusion written all over his face.
"You callin' me hot n takin' my clothes off." He mumbled, his eyes sliding closed again.
He registered a scoff aimed at him, followed by a playful punch.
"You're funnier than normal when you're brain's melting from a fever."
He felt hesitant fingers over his head, which then moved through his hair.
"Jay does this with my hair when I'm sick...is this okay?" Jessie asked, the uncertainty of his touch emulated in his voice.
"Hmmm, Lyls does too." Kai hummed, relaxing into the touch.
"Yeah, you two are closer though, didn't know if you'd think this is weird."
"s'not." Sleep and fever were battling within his brain, able to focus on nothing but the soothing sensation of Jessie's hand in his hair. " 's nice. More than nice."
The motion in his hair paused for half a second before resuming.
"Yeah? Does that mean I'm catching up to Lyla in your estimations?" The tone was teasing, just enough that it registered in Kai's fever ridden brain.
"Lyls...like a sister." He slurred. "You're...differn'"
"Different? Huh. When you wake up without a fever I'll have to explore what you mean by that." Jessie hummed as he continued playing with his hair.
"Differen'. Good Different. I like you."
He just about registered Jessie's scoff.
"Well, I'm glad you haven't been hanging out with me at least once a week for the last however many months because you don't like me."
"No. I like you Jess. Really... like you. Like you, like you." Sleep was taking over, Kai could barely keep his thoughts out of dreams. Hell, he wasn't sure he wasn't fully dreaming now until the hand stopped moving in his hair and disappeared.
"Kai?" That tone snapped him awake faster than a bucket of ice water to the face. His brain struck with enough shock to wake up enough and realise what he'd just said.
"Jess...I..." He studied the man's expression. It was neutral. The same horrible neutral expression he gave Kai all those weeks ago when they argued on the way to the lodge.
"It's fine. You're feverish. Get some sleep." Jessie didn't move, didn't get up and leave, but his hands were sat in his lap.
"Jess... plea-"
"-Sleep, Kai. We can talk about it when you're better." He gave Kai a smile. It was tight. Forced. And Kai hated it. Every inch of that smile was fake. But he hadn't left. He didn't run away. Which was a small comfort. Just enough for Kai to resign himself to the fact he was way too exhausted and feverish for this conversation, as against his will, his eyes closed. The last thing he saw before being fully consumed by sleep was Jessie's face turning away.
It's short, but it's... something? Hoping that this weekend (I actually have a whole 24 hours where I have no plans whattttt?!) I'm going to sit down and sort out the next block of timeliness for fics and start writing some of them. Because ya girl really needs to start doing things she likes and wants to do instead of drowning in work and shitty life stuff
Aeroplane bathrooms suck
Sometimes, Lyla hated her job. Not often, but sometimes. Yeah, the hours were great, as was the pay. It was interesting most of the time, and getting to go to new places to present projects off the companies dime was definitely a bonus. Mostly.
The flight to Atlanta had been fine. It was an evening flight in business class, she'd finalised all of her presentation, taken her good meds, and slept from just after take of until they landed. Perfect flight.
The presentation itself had been flawless. Lyla knew how to work her charm, especially on companies owned by middle aged white men. Lots of charm, plenty of low key flirting, slightly lower cut blouse than usual. Mix that with a lot of ego stroking and forcing herself to come across as both simultaneously intelligent in the work place but also in need of 'guidance' from them, they were in her pocket before she'd even finished. The contract was signed the same day, which of course then meant they had to celebrate by the new company taking her out for dinner that evening. As always happened at these things, the food was decent, the drinks flowed, and she had to ward off many unwanted advances. But she was use to it. All part and parcel of being a woman in a predominantly male run establishment. When she'd fallen into the hotel bed that evening, she was proud of the work she'd put it, and as always after landing a big sales pitch, she felt great.
But that was two days ago. Now? She hated her job's need for travel and just felt fucking frustrated. They'd been in the air for 30 minutes, and she could already feel her stomach starting to churn and the familiar pressure in her head that felt like almost but not quite vertigo. She had taken the lowest dose of her meds because unlike when she landed in Atlanta and got into an uber, she had to drive home. Two hours. That's all it was, and she couldn't even get through it. How pathetic.
She lent back into the seat, her eyes closed and one hand wrapped around her wrist onto the pressure point. Not that that normally did anything, but anything was better than nothing.
The aeroplane shuddered with slight turbulence a little while later, and there was no escaping the nausea that coursed through her. Face prickling, cold sweat across her brow, heart pounding. She knew what was coming. Shakily, she moved her hands to the armrests and pushed herself upright. There was an elderly couple in the seats beside her, luckily taking the middle and window seat so she didn't have to climb over them, but she also didn't want to throw up infront of them. For one, it's gross and embarrassing, and secondly, they might try and talk to her. And as much as she prides herself on being a social butterfly, the last thing she wanted right now was a conversation.
Lyla walked unsteadily to the stupidly cramped bathroom, each step causing the nausea to swirl higher up her throat. She barely managed to lock the door behind her before she was gagging, head spinning. Hygiene be damned, she knelt on the floor, folding herself over the toilet. The harsh chemical toilet smell was the last straw, and the next gag became a forceful heave, her back arching painfully as the ginger ale she'd been sipping projectiled out of her mouth. She didn't get a second to breathe as the next heave wracked through her small frame, her whole body seizing up with the force. Her head was swimming, barely able to keep herself upright and over the toilet. She was able to take in a sharp breath before her body continued with a few more heaves.
When the imminent need to vomit subsided slightly, Lyla reached up a shaky hand and pressed the flush. God, this sucked. Laying an arm across the toilet seat, she rested her head on it and allowed herself to wallow in feeling so shitty for a few minutes as she held her stomach, as if physically willing anything left in it to to stay put. Her stomach was still rolling unhappily, and all she wanted was to be laying down somewhere that wasn't moving. When she managed a quick glance at her watch, it told her she still had another hour and thirteen minutes until landing. She couldn't do this for another hour, she didn't have the energy. With a defeated sigh, she pulled herself upright, moving to wash her hands. She stared at herself in the small mirror. Her normal porcelain skin was almost transparent, mascara streaked down her cheeks where her eyes had been watering through the heaves. She looked just as shitty as she felt.
After scrubbing her face, Lyla moved back to her seat and opened her bag. Fuck driving home, she'd take the strong stuff and either order an Uber or see if Kai could come and get her. Her car would survive one more night in the parking lot. After swallowing the pills with a small sip of ginger ale, she rested her head against the seat infront of her, put in her headphones, and closed her eyes. All she had to do was not puke the pills up in the 20 minutes they usually took to work, and all would be fine.
The relief she felt when the overwhelming nausea began ebbing away was wonderful and by the 20-minute mark, it had settled to a bearable swirling in the bit of her stomach. Between the violent vomiting and the drowsy sensations from the meds, she fell into a hazy sleep for the remainder of the flight.
She was woken by a gentle shake to her arm. Opening her eyes, she was met with the kindest smile from the older gentleman sat beside her.
"Sorry to wake you young lady, we've landed." His voice was warm, it reminded her of her Grandpa.
"Thanks." She smiled back at him, sitting up and blinking a few times to bring herself around enough to move. Standing shakily, she grabbed her bag and disembarked the plane.
The walk from the plane through to the arrivals area wasn't far, but by the time she reached it Lyla could barely keep her eyes open. Spotting the nearest empty bench, she pulled out her phone, staring at the screen as she thought about whether to call Kai or an Uber. Kai would be the most logical choice, because no one wants to fight for an uber from the airport on a Friday evening, and unless he was working then she knew he'd come. Clicking on his contact, she held the phone to her ear and waited for him to answer.
"Hey Lyls," His cheerful voice came through on the third ring, "how was Atlanta?"
"Fine." She mumbled, even to herself her voice was rough with sleep.
"You okay?" The shift in his tone was instantaneous. Immediately, she could hear the cheerfulness turn to concern.
"No. Got airsick and had to take the stronger meds. Just landed, trying to let my body realise we're stationary." She sighed, eyes already closing as she spoke.
"I'll be there in twenty. You got somewhere to lay down?"
She couldn't help the drowsy smile that spread across her face at that, because of course she hadn't even had to ask before he knew what she needed.
"Yeah, on a bench by the arrivals entrance."
"Good. Stay put, we're on the way."
The phone disconnected before she even had time to ask who we were. Maybe he'd been hanging out with Hope. Though really, she didn't actually care who it was, because she had 20 minutes where she could lay down on the cool metal bench and sleep. Chucking her bag under her head as a pillow, she curled up and closed her eyes.
"Hey Sweetie." A familiar deep voice pulled her from sleep as a hand stroked her hair, and she opened her eyes to see Kai crouched before her.
She smiled sleepily as he immediately helped her to sit up.
"Hey. Thanks for coming." She ran her hand over her face, trying to rub enough of the sleepiness away to be able to get up and walk.
"I"ll always come when you call. Get your bearings before we move." Kai said, moving from his crouched position to standing, resting a firm hand on her shoulder.
"I just wanna get home and crash." Lyla sighed, reaching her hands up to Kai so he could pull her up.
He rolled his eyes, but his smile was soft as he gently took her hands and pulled her up.
"Come on then, Jessie has the car pulled up in the collection zone."
"Jessie?" She tilted her head at him, because that's not who she'd been expecting. The blush that rose over Kai's cheeks made it obvious that he knew that too.
"Um, yeah. I had the stomach bug going round and he... stayed at my place for a couple of nights to make sure I was alright." He answered as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side.
She rested her head against his chest as they began walking, but even through her impaired brain functioning, Lyla knew that was not something that was normal.
"Jessie? Jessie, who literally pukes at the idea of puke, stayed over your place to look after you with a stomach bug?"
If Kai's cheeks were pink before, they were now crimson.
"...yes?"
She was missing something here. Okay, the two men had been getting much closer since the lodge vacation, but for Jessie to actively be staying with Kai when he was sick? Or, more importantly, for that matter, for Kai to be letting Jess stay at his place and look after him? That was different. New. And something she'd be pouncing on him about as soon as they were alone and she didn't feel like she was about to fall asleep stood up. For now, she settled for, "Huh."
She felt his chest vibrate with a low chuckle as they walked towards Kai's waiting car.
"Come on Lyls, get it and go to sleep." He instructed as he opened the back doors. She slid across to the other side, offering Jessie a small smile and a "Hey," before Kai slid in beside her and lay her with her head in his lap.
"Rest, I'll drive carefully." Jessie smiled at her via the rear view mirror, then his eyes flicked to Kai's, and Lyla didn't miss the affectionate way his eyes softened at him. But she was far too exhausted to process it fully, and without needing to be told twice she snuggled into Kai's lap, embracing the familiar feeling of his hands gently smoothing her hair, and was asleep before they'd even pulled off.
Can we get a fic of Kai telling Lyla and Hope about him and Jessie now that Jay knows?
"I KNEW IT! I TOLD YOU HOPE, I TOLD YOU!" Lyla squealed with joy, practically bouncing on her couch, and Kai is so glad they were having this conversation in her apartment and not in public.
"Jesus Lyla, yes you did. You were right." Hope rolled her eyes at her before turning to Kai with a smirk.
"Don't look at me like that." He grumbled, but there was no heat in his words and he couldn't help the smile that was plastered on his face.
"Like what? Like my best friend has finally given up his life of emotionally detached one night stands for a relationship? And a relationship with someone who I know will be good for you?" Hope laughed, and Kai nudged her with his foot that was draped over her lap.
"I told you. We're not giving it labels." But he knew that really, that's what it was. A relationship. They hadn't verbally said it, and Kai honestly didn't know if Jessie would ever want to call it that, but that's what it was. Just them. Exclusively.
"Oh shut it, you're a couple," Lyla giggled, moving from her seat to wiggle in the small space on the couch beside Kai, "and i need all the details. Every single one. Is Jessie a good kisser? Who's the big spoon? Have you been on a date yet?"
"For God Sake." Kai mumbled, running one hand through his hair and batting Lyla's arm with the other.
"Nope, nope, nopety nope. I have been waiting for years for you to be in a relationship so I can bombarded you with questions. You don't get to ignore me Kai Lindsay." She batted him right back.
"Ugh, you're so demanding Lyls. Fine. Yes he's a good kisser, fuck off, and No." He answered the three questions, whilst he tried his best to sound grumpy, but the smile that had been on his face for the last five weeks just won't budge.
"What?! No date?! KAI LINDSAY! You, my darling, are shit at this!"
"Wow, thanks. Give me a break, Jessie only told Jay a few hours ago, and you two are only just finding out. We're not exactly public knowledge. Anyway, Jess and I have been out for coffee and dinner plenty of times, and we play tennis together every weekend." He looked pleadingly at Hope, begging her to save him but alas, apparently, she was siding with Lyla.
"That doesn't count, and you know it. You need to arrange a proper date. Something that just isn't what the two of you normally do." Hope said, sitting up straighter.
"Ooooh, what about that Thai place? The one where the owner brings everything in the restaurant directly over from Thailand? That seems like a very Jessie vibe. Or maybe the Italian on 3rd? It's fancy and very romantic!" Lyla wiggled her eyebrows, having already pulled out her phone, pulling up images and reviews.
"Okay, enough. Both of you. I know how to arrange a date. But Jessie and I are still working out what this is. I don't even know if he'd want to go out on an official date yet. Neither of us are exactly into PDA or romantic shit." Kai was starting to feel flustered. Having Jessie all to himself and happy was all he cared about, and if that meant spending all their time together in their apartments, then he was content.
"Have you actually asked him?" Hope questioned, head tilted curiously in the annoying habit she'd picked up from Jay.
"Well...no." He admitted, because all the previous thoughts he'd just had, well they were based on assumptions. They hadn't discussed going on a date, and Kai had just assumed that was because Jessie didn't care either way. But now he thinks about it, maybe that's less true. He knows just how new this is to Jessie, and Jessie made it perfectly clear regularly that he has zero idea what being with someone entails. Maybe the man genuinely hadn't even given it two thoughts because it hadn't even crossed his mind as something to do.
"Ask him," Hope broke through his thoughts, "Jessie needs guidance in all this. I know he'll probably go to Jay for advice, but the poor boy has no idea what he's doing."
Kai couldn't help but roll his eyes, "he's not a poor boy. He's a perfectly capable man."
"Just ask him." She huffed.
"Okay, okay, fine. I will ask my boyfriend on a date." He'd do anything to move this topic along.
"Boyfriend huh?" Lyla snorted, "I thought you weren't using labels."
Kai felt his cheeks flush at his slip up, but the only sensible response he could come up with was to flip Lyla off, which caused her to laugh and only fluster him more.
"Well, if you're internally calling him that, then I think we need to have the talk." Hope says, expression serious but a glint of mischief in her eye.
"Hope, I know about the birds and the bees. One, I'm a doctor. Two, I was the first of us three to have sex. Three, Jessie and I aren't having sex. And four, I cannot get Jessie pregnant." He huffed.
"Fucking Hell Kai!" Both her and Lyla bursting into hysterical giggles, which Kai quickly found contagious. The three of them found themselves in hysterical laughter that left them gasping for breath, and only started up again every time they made eyecontact.
"That isn't what I meant at all." Hope continued once she finally calmed down ebough to talk, her face serious again. "Kai, you are my best friend, and have been since elementary school. But Jessie is also my best friend. You treat him well. And if you hurt him? I know where you live, and I may not hurt you, but i would have no qualms being Jay's getaway driver."
Kai froze momentarily. Initially at the sheer audacity of Hope implying hed ever do anything to deliberately hurt Jessie, then at the sheer pride he had for her for making her stance clear amd for her being so protective over his...boyfriend.
"Understood." He finally said, and she squeezed his knee.
Here is Jessie's POV from the last fic, plus what happens after Kai falls asleep. The next fic will be them talking it out, then I'll have a few light-hearted sickfics before delving back into their storyline.
This fic is pretty emotionally angsty. Lots of self hatered talk, and some exploring of sexual orientation and perceived expectations for a heterosexual relationship. It's not exactly TW worthy, but throwing it out there.
Catastrophic Confessions
He was worried. If this had been a few months ago and Kai was late with no warning, he wouldn't have thought twice about it. But nowadays? Kai messaged him if he's even slightly worried he's going to be late. The change had been refreshing. So now that Kai hadn't showed up to the bistro 20 minutes after their agreed time, and hadn't answered a single text or call, Jessie was concerned. Concerned enough that he now found himself stood outside of Kai's apartment door. He stared at it for a minute, not sure whether to knock. Was he being pushy? Would Kai think he was overstepping the friendship? Had he done something that had pissed Kai off and he'd just not realised? The anxiety was enough that he almost stepped away. But he stopped himself. His worry was stronger than his anxiety, and he needed to know his friend was okay. He raised his hand and knocked.
When almost a minute past and the door remained closed, his doubt crept back in. What if he was the one that messed up? Did he get the dates wrong? The time? But that still didn't explain the lack of answering, because the last few weeks Kai always answered his texts in minutes unless he was working... fuck, he'd been working. He'd probably been caught up in an emergency and not seen his phone and-
The door opened. The second he laid eyes on Kai, he knew he'd made the right call.
"Kai holy fuck you look horrendous." He looked over Kai's shivering, sweaty form, still wearing his scrubs and white coat. He looked about 10 seconds away from just collapsing to the ground, and his eyes could barely focus.
"Jess?"
Jessie's chest tightened, Kai's voice trembled as much as his body. He grabbed him by the biceps before he could crumble to the ground.
"Yeah. What the hell man, what happened?"
He pushed him lightly away from the door and towards the couch, the path now comfortably familiar compared to his first visit to Kai's home almost two months ago. He tried to gently lower him onto the black leather, but between their size difference and Kai's inability to stop shivering, it was more of an unceremonious drop. Once he was sure Kai wasn't about to nosedive forward onto the floor, he stepped back to really look at Kai. This clearly wasn't simple exhaustion, the shivering and glassy eyes indicated a fever, but that was the extent of the symptoms Jess could observe. He was just about to ask Kai what was wrong so he could try and find a way to fix it, when Kai spoke.
"Why are you here?"
He paused for a second, because if Kai genuinely couldn't remember that they had plans, he was a lot sicker than Jessie was prepared for.
"Because we were meeting for dinner and you never showed? Then didn't answer my calls?" He kept his voice even, presenting his statements as questions to see if he could jog Kai's memory
He watched as a range of expressions flicked across his friends face. Confusion, annoyance, resignation, then flat out discomfort.
"Sick." Kai's tone would have been much more stoic if it wasn't for the fact his teeth were literally chattering with chills and his eyes were as pitiful as a kicked puppy. Jessie laughed at the simplicity yet absurdity of the whole situation.
"Yeah no shit. Kai you're still in your scrubs and coat." He leaned closer, pressing the back of his hand tentatively against Kai's forehead and wincing when he felt the extreme heat rolling off of him.
"Jeeze you're burning up. Right. Changed, meds, bed." He listed off the plan just as much for his benefit as Kai's. Having a plan, practical steps he could take, made this easier. Caretaking didn't come naturally to Jessie, not like this. He cared for others deeply, but expressing it? It worried him, made him nervous that he'd do the wrong thing. He knew where he stood when it came to Hope and Jay, hell even with Lyla. But Kai was newer territory, and he enjoyed their newfound close friendship. The thought of misstepping and rocking their new balance constantly played on his mind when they were together.
Pushing his thoughts aside he grabbed Kai's arms again, pulling him up, only for Kai to fight against him. He paused. Fuck. He'd overstepped for sure. Kai was about to tell him to get lost and he'd have ruined it.
"No Jess, I'm sick sick." Kai grumbled, and his stomach audibly churned.
"Like puking? Great. Wonderful. Well, you try not to puke, and I'll offer you the same courtesy." He kept his tone serious yet playful, when really he could have laughed in relief if the situation wasn't what it was. This wasnt because of him. Well, it was, but not because he'd done something wrong. Because Kai was worried he was going throw up, and then Jessie would too. His relief was quickly overshadowed by a tinge of panic, though, as his words sunk in.
He quickly manhandled Kai into his bedroom. They almost made it to the bed before Kai let out a deep, brassy burp that was suspiciously wet towards the end. Jessie shoved him onto the bed, spotting the bin Kai had obviously placed there earlier.
"Shit. Fuck. Okay, aim for the bin, aim for the bin!" He almost squealed as he shoved the bin into Kai's lap. His heart was racing with anticipation, already feeling the tickles of sympathy nausea in his throat.
Kai burped again, and this time he heard as it turned into actual vomiting. He swallowed thickly, his own nausea increasing. But he wanted to prove both to himself and Kai that he could be there for him, so he placed his hand lightly on Kai's back, rubbing gentle circles despite his hand trembling.
"Alright, get it - uurk - up." He gagged off to the side mid sentence, his stomach clenching and threatening to eject its contents. But he's got this, just breathe slowly.
And then Kai heaved again, bringing up more, and Jessie couldn't do it. He had a choice to make. Stay here and join Kai in throwing up in his room, but on the floor, or leave him to throw up alone.
"Fuck." He mumbled as he tried to work out what to do, but another harsh gag from himself sealed the deal. "Sorry." He said sprinted out of the room, closing the door behind him as he ran to the kitchen sink. His knuckles turned white as he leant over it, spitting heavily as he tried to settle his own stomach. This was not how this was meant to go. He was meant to be helping his friend, not running away. He felt pathetic, stupid. How can he not even control himself enough to be there for his friends when they're sick? With a groan he pushed himself away from the side. He needed to step up, own stomach be damned.
When he re-entered the room, he was secretly so glad to see the Kai was now laying on the bed, and he'd even had the kindness to tie up the bin liner so the puke was hidden. He slowly tiptoed over, taking the sealed liner and walking back into the hallway to the fancy garbage shoot in the apartment, before returning to the bedroom with a new liner in hand.
Once it was secured in the bin, he stood by the bed, genuinely not sure what to do next.
He took in the sweat pooling across Kai's face, and remembered his list. Changed, meds, bed. Welp, that seemed to have gone to pot. Now it looks like Bed, changed, meds when his stomach settled. He gently leaned over and placed his hand on Kai's forehead to see just how bad his fever had gotten, and his stomach sank at the fierce heat it met.
"Jesus Kai. You're so hot. Come on, let's get those clothes off you and cool you off."
He tried to be as gentle as he could getting Kai's coat off, settling for getting his arms out and then yanking it out from under him like a table cloth magic trick. That wasn't too hard. But the scrub top? That was a whole new fight. Kai was a dead weight, not helping in the slightest as Jessie pulled the top up and by the time he got it over his head, he was sweating as much as Kai. He threw them both in the hamper, then grabbed a towel from the en-suite, running it under cold water before returning and placing it gently over Kai's head as his eyes blearily stared at him.
"Here." He hummed softly, searching Kai's eyes for any sort of coherent thought.
"Tha's no' how I pictured tha'" He slurred, frowning slightly.
Nope, zero coherent thoughts going on apparently, because Jessie didn't have a fucking clue what he was on about.
"What?"
"You callin' me hot n takin' my clothes off." Kai mumbled as his eyes closed again.
Well that was not what he'd anticipated. He scoffed, gently punching Kai before realising that was probably a bit too much when Kai was this sick. But his friends fever fried brain comments tickled him.
"You're funnier than normal when you're brain's melting from a fever."
After a small pause where Kai didn't respond, and his expression was full of discomfort, Jessie once again felt like a fish out of water. He picked his brain for what to do next. If this was him and Jay, what would Jay be doing right now? Comfort. Not words. Physical comfort. Right.
Nervously Jess slid onto the bed beside Kai. The sheets were the softest thing he'd ever felt, God they probably cost more than Jessie's apartment. Resting his back against the headboard, he tentatively raised his hand and placed it lightly on the top of Kai's head. When he wasn't swatted away, he slowly moved his fingers through Kai's thick black hair. He could feel the tension in his own hands, feel them trembling as his anxiety peaked, waiting for Kai to hit his hand away.
"Jay does this with my hair when I'm sick...is this okay?" Jessie asked as he tried to preemptively justify his actions.
Instead of a snarky comment or a hand swat, Kai relaxed under his fingers and Jessie let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding.
"Hmmm, Lyls does too." Kai hummed, clearly not fully conscious and definitely not particularly coherent.
Jessie smiled. Because that meant he was doing something right.
"Yeah, you two are closer though, didn't know if you'd think this is weird." He tried to keep the swell of happiness he felt at even slightly being compared to Lyla brought out of his tone.
"s'not. 's nice. More than nice." Kai was slurring slightly as he succumbed to sleep, but the words caught Jessie off guard slightly. He paused his hand whilst he processed what Kai said, then resumed when he decided it was just the rambling of his fever. But still, he was once again being reassured he was doing the right thing. And praise was something that he thrived from.
"Yeah? Does that mean I'm catching up to Lyla in your estimations?" He kept his tone teasing, but the genuine warmth that was spreading through his chest snuck in too.
"Lyls...like a sister. You're...differn'" his words were increasingly sleepy.
Different? What the heck does that mean? Good different? Bad different? Neutral different? He wanted to press further, but now was absolutely not the time for that.
"Different? Huh. When you wake up without a fever I'll have to explore what you mean by that." Jessie hummed as he continued playing with Kai's hair.
He'd expected the conversation to end, with Kai's eyes being closed and his breathing evening out, he assumed he was practically asleep, but a few seconds later Kai spoke again.
"Differen'. Good Different. I like you." Despite the fact the man was practically asleep, his tone was soft and reassuring, yet almost cautious. It caused Jessie to scoff, because he was definitely sure they'd established the fact they were friends by this point, and the fact Kai's fever ridden brain felt the need to confirm it was equal parts funny and sweet.
"Well, I'm glad you haven't been hanging out with me at least once a week for the last however many months because you don't like me." He kept his hand running through his hair, touch soft and grounding just like Jay would do.
There was another pause, a thirty second gap were Jessie was once again sure Kai was asleep, until he mumbled.
"No. I like you Jess. Really... like you. Like you, like you..."
Jessie froze. What. The. Fuck. He pulled his hand away and turned his entire body to face Kai, whose eyes were still closed. He knew fevers can make people say weird things. Things they would never normally say and definitely didn't mean. But something in the way Kai said it made him believe he meant it. And that was terrifying. His entire body tightened, eyes searching Kai's face for any hint of a smile that would indicate a joke. Any sort of emotion that would show it was truth. But his face was relaxed and closer to sleep than it had been all evening. He should drop it. Bring it up when Kai was better, and they'd have a good laugh about fever induced delirium. But he couldn't. He couldn't just leave it at that. He fought to keep his face and tone neutral, free of any of the emotions running rampant through him right now.
"Kai?"
Maybe it was his tone, or maybe his brain had caught up to what he'd said, because Kai's eyes snapped open, and were the most coherent Jessie had seen them since he arrived. He could feel his eyes searching him, reading his body language, before his face settled into an expression of guilt.
"Jess...I..."
That confirmed it. Kai was serious. Kai liked Jessie as more than just a friend. His chest tightened, a pressure in his lungs that felt like fire. This could not be happening right now. This was one of his best friends, someone he thought he knew pretty damn well. Someone who knew way more about Jessie than he ever thought he would. His friend. His friend who was saying he was into him. His brain was fried. But so was Kai's, literally. This could still all be the fever, right?
"It's fine. You're feverish. Get some sleep." He kept his tone measured and neutral.
Jessie didn't move, instantly falling back into his spiralling thoughts. This new closeness, their new bond... was that all Kai trying to get in his pants? Because there was no way he liked him for any other reason than wanting to get laid. It never was for Jessie. People didn't like him like that. He didn't like people like that, because he wasn't capable of those feelings and he definitely didn't deserve them directed towards him. Oh God. This was going to wreck the friendship group. And it would be his fault.
"Jess..." Kai started, snapping him from his tornado of thoughts and back into the present with a crash. "Plea-"
"-Sleep, Kai. We can talk about it when you're better." His tone was harsher than he'd been aiming for, bordering on dismissive. So he forced a smile, because Kai was sick and this wasn't going to help him recover. He stared at him as he closed his eyes, and seemed to fall into sleep scarily quickly. Far quicker than Jessie would tonight, because what the fuck just happened.
When he was confident Kai was fully asleep, he stood, moving from the bed and hovering in the doorway. His brain was screaming at him to run. Leave and just pretend this never happened, because if Kai never mentioned it again he sure as hell wouldn't. But he couldn't make his feet move, like they were weighted to the floor. No matter what he was feeling in this moment, Kai was sick and shouldn't be left alone. And he couldn't call anyone to take over from him because they'd know something was up. Running his hand through his hair aggressively he settled on moving to the couch, leaving the bedroom door ajar just in case.
He threw himself to the couch, and the band of tighness around him snapped as he started to sob. This was a mess. A mess he couldn't fix. Because he didn't like Kai that way. He couldn't. For one, he's not gay. He's never been into a man, never thought about it at all. Because that's not who he was. He liked girls. Always had done. Right? That's why he'd had exactly 3 girlfriends throughout his life. Girlfriends who lasted no more than 2 months. Girlfriends he was with because he felt it was expected of him, not because he was attracted to them, not because he was infatuated in the idea of having a partner, and definitely not because he loved any of them. Because Jessie didn't know how to accept their affection, their need to be close and physical. All the other stuff that came with love. He didn't know what it felt like to love another person that way. Male or female, his brain chipped in. But this was different than anything else. Kai was his friend, but he was also his friends friend. Meaning whatever he did next, whatever happened after this, the friendship group could fall apart. Or, even worse, it would stay together without him in it. Because other than Jay, Jessie was the outlier here. Kai, Hope and Lyla were the original group. Her was just Hope's boyfriends best friend tag along. He would lose everything if he handled this wrong. And the thought of losing everyone... he couldn't. He wasn't a strong enough person to go through that. These were his best friends, his chosen family. He needed them. All of them. And he needed Kai. Their friendship over the last few months had blossomed so well that he could never imagine his life without his tennis buddy. His post-match coffee or lunch mate. His 'what a fucking day let's grab a beer this evening' friend. Someone who he texts when he first wakes up, and is usually the last person he texts before bed because he genuinely wanted to hear from him and talk to him about everything. He'd never had a friend who he'd felt like that about.
Wait.
His brain slowed a little at that last thought. Because his thoughts may be spiralling and jumbled and mainly derived from fear, but that last one was true. He'd never felt like this in any form of relationship, friendship or otherwise. Even with Jay, they could go days without texting. Okay, they saw each other almost every day, but that was in work. Sometimes, they'd go weeks without seeing each other socially. And he's seen Kai socially a minimum of once a week for months now. Usually more. And the thought of going a whole day without texting, especially since the weeks after the lodge vacation, made him sad. He always ensured to text every day. Was that more than friendly? He didn't think so. Hadn't thought so. Maybe for Kai, or after tonight's confession, almost definitely for Kai it had been more. But for Jessie it can't have been. Because he's not gay... right? Okay sure he could appreciate that Kai was very nice to look at, but appreciating another man's appearance for being attractive vs being attracted to it was not the same...was it? No. It wasn't the same. Definitely not the same. He couldn't keep doing this. This thinking too much was hurting him. His brain was exhausted. Body too now that he'd calmed down from crying. All he wanted was sleep.
He grabbed the throw from the back of the couch, wrapping himself into a cocoon. Tomorrow he would deal with his thoughts and feelings, as well as Kai's. But now all he had the energy for was to fall into a dark and dreamless sleep.
Part 2 of Hope's appendicitis. Really enjoyed writing this. I go back to work next week when the school term starts, so I probably won't be writing as often as I have been. Hoping to get part 3 and possibly another fic or two done before then though before I probably dissappear off the face of the earth for a week or two until I get back into a routine of work/life balance.
The Storm
He couldn't sit still. The minute they'd arrived at the ER, the receptionist took one look at Hope and she'd been whisked back to the cubicles. That was 2 hours ago, and she had just been taken in for surgery. Jay had kissed her goodbye and then be left alone in the surgical waiting room. It was empty besides him due to the early hour, which made it worse. No opportunity to people watch or distract himself in any way from the thoughts bombarding him. He had never been so terrified in his life. Seeing Hope in agony and not being able to do anything about it almost killed him. She'd been screaming in pain by the time they got to the ER, and even after they'd pumped her full of morphine she was still sobbing. His chest felt tight at the memory. He paced faster, hands trembling. He was desperate for something, anything, to keep his mind occupied and away from worst-case scenarios. Finally deciding that he didn't care it was only 3:45am, he pulled his phone from his pocket and text the group chat.
Jay: Hope's sick, appendicitis, in surgery. Will update when I know anything.
He didn't expect a response, everyone else would be asleep, but it made him feel slightly better as he tucked his phone back in his pocket. He was surprised when only a minute later it vibrated. Pulling it out, he was greeted with a single word.
Kai: Coming.
He sighed in relief. He didn't care who it was, the knowledge that someone else would be there was enough. With it being Kai, he had the added advantage that he was a doctor. A doctor who worked in this hospital, meaning... well, he didn't know. Maybe he could see Hope sooner? Get more updates? Any updates at all would be a Godsend at this point, even though only 20 minutes had passed.
He resumed his pacing, the temporary relief of knowing someone was on the way soon vanished, and he was back to worst-case scenarios playing through his head. His heart was pounding, hands shaking, stomach churning, and thoughts racing. He clenched his fists in frustration. He needed to get a grip. This wasn't about him. This was about Hope, and she needed someone to be there who was calm. But he wasn't calm. He couldn't be calm when the love of his life was currently sedated and undergoing surgery. And the surgery came with risks. He knew this from the paperwork and consent forms Hope had to sign. Yes, they were unlikely, but they were risks. Excessive bleeding. Clots. Infection. Death.
His breathing rate increased as he spiralled through all of the potential outcomes, all the things that could go wrong. His heart was pounding so loudly it's all he could hear. He stumbled in his pacing, hand flying out to the wall to catch himself. He wanted to scream, to break down, because this wasn't how it was supposed to be. Hope was the healthy one. His head spun, eyes starting to develop black dots because he was breathing so goddamn fast, but he couldn't stop it, couldn't slow it down when his thoughts were going so fast. He felt his legs start to go from under him, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. Just as he started to go down, a strong grip held onto his forearms and lowered him down slowly with his back against the wall.
"Jay, you need to breathe, or you're going to pass out." He knew that voice. Even through the panic he could identify Kai's deep tone. He raised his head slightly, meeting his eyes. He was met with a calm, composed stare, which made everything worse. That was how he was meant to be for Hope.
"Jay. Get out of your head and breathe. Look at me." He hadn't even realised his head had fallen forward again and he was now staring at the floor. He tried, but his head felt so damn heavy.
He heard a sigh, then felt a firm grip on his chin and his head being gently forced up to meet Kai's gaze.
"Jay. Look at me. She will be okay. She is in great hands. But right now, you need to breathe." Kai stared into his eyes, lacking his usual air of cockiness that Jay was used to. His eyes were soft, kind even. This must be what his patients see.
"I...I can't..." He managed to gasp out, panic sitting like a rock in his chest.
"Yes you can. If you can talk, you can breathe. Have you ever had a panic attack before?"
Jay nodded.
"Okay, so you know inside that brain of yours that you can breathe and that this is temporary." Kai's hand on his chin moved to grip his hand. "When I squeeze your hand, breathe in. When I release, breathe out. Okay?"
Jay nodded, eyes fixed on Kai's hand in his. If this was any other situation he'd be laughing at the absurdity of this scenario. This was not his and Kai's relationship, they didn't do this. He watched as Kai squeezed his hand, the pressure grounding him enough that he managed a sharp inhale.
"Good. Now exhale." Kai released his hand slowly. "You're doing well. Now do it again, slower this time."
They repeated this pattern until Jay no longer felt like he was being sat on by an elephant and his breaths were coming out regularly, albeit still a little fast.
"There. You're okay." Kai squeezed his shoulder, the one he hadn't let go of since he got to him, then gently pulled Jay up off the floor and into a chair.
"Thanks. Sorry." Jay mumbled, running his hand over his face.
"Don't apologise," Kai shrugged, sitting beside him and crossing his legs, " that happens a lot more than you think when someone you love is in surgery."
Jay nodded, resting his head back in his hands.
"I was so scared. I still am." He confessed to the floor.
"Yeah, me too." Kai said it so nonchalantly that Jay looked up, raising an eyebrow.
"You don't look scared."
Kai sighed, "better poker face," he shrugged with a small smile.
"I've never seen her like that Kai. She was in so much pain. I mean, you know Hope. She doesn't admit to being in pain, ever. You two are the same like that. And she was screaming. Actual screams Kai." His voice was shaking, breathing speeding up again. He felt a heavy weight around his shoulder and then he was pulled into Kai's side. The most awkward side hug he'd ever recieved, but God he needed it.
They sat in silence for a while, neither seemed to want to move, and Jay realised that maybe Kai needed this just as much as he did. Eventually, however, the silence got to him.
"How'd you get here so fast?" He asked, looking up at Kai but remaining tucked into his side.
"Working." Kai responded, eyes trained forward.
Now that Jay actually focused on him, he realised that Kai was in his scrubs.
"Oh. Didn't know you were on nights." Jay replied.
"Unfortunately. Well, maybe fortunately this once." Kai shrugged.
"Do you need to go back? I'm fine waiting here."
Kai scoffed, "Yeah, you looked soooo fine when I came in. Absolutely not in the middle of a panic attack and about to pass out on the floor."
"Shut up." Jay elbowed him lightly in the ribs but smiled.
"I'm fine to stay here, I have my pager. If they need me, they'll bleep me." He shrugged again.
Jay nodded, that made sense. Slowly he pulled away from Kai, sitting straight.
"Well... this was an unexpected bonding session." He joked and Kai snorted.
"Yeah, can't say I saw this coming."
"You're alright you know? When you're not being an asshat." Jay said, keeping his voice light.
Kai snorted again, "Contrary to popular belief, I am not that big of an asshole. Not really. It's just easier when people think I am."
He sighed. It was so heavy that Jay almost pulled him into another hug. Almost.
"I get it, you know? Keeping people away so you don't get hurt. But I've known you almost as long as I've known Hope. And I know you didn't like me at first, but you seem to tolerate me well enough now. Maybe you should let yourself be... well, you. I see who you are with Lyla and Hope. How hard you tried with Jess at the lodge. That's the real Kai. I'd really like to know him more instead of whatever bravado you put on to keep people away." He wasn't sure why he'd suddenly become so ballsy. Maybe he could blame the adrenaline.
Kai didn't say anything for a while. So long so that Jay genuinely didn't think he was going to respond and was just going to pretend he hadn't heard him.
"I'm trying." Kai eventually spoke. It was barely a whisper and heavy with emotions.
"That's all I can ask." Jay replied.
Before they could say anything else, the door opened, and the surgeon Jay had met before Hope went in for surgery appeared. Both Kai and Jay stood.
"Dr Harrison." Kai nooded
"Dr Lindsay. Friend of yours?" He signalled at Jay.
Kai nodded.
"He's Hope's best friend." Jay added, as if that was even important right now.
Dr Harrison gave a nod of acknowledgement before speaking.
"The surgery went well. We were able to get in before it ruptured so it was a simple keyhole surgery. Nothing unexpected came up, and Miss Capina is in the recovery ward. Once she's awake you may see her."
Jay nodded, feeling his whole body relax because Hope was okay. She was fine and he could see her soon.
"I think we'd like to see her now."
Jay looked at Kai, not expecting that.
"You know that's not hospital policy, Kai." Dr Harrison chided, but his tone was soft.
"And what about the hospital policies when your son was in NICU Steve? I'm pretty sure I ensured that some policies were flexible then." Kai replied, tone measured. Not unfriendly, just factual.
The others doctor sighed and put a hand on his hip.
"Fine. But if the post-op nurses get angry, I'm taking no responsibility."
Kai nodded and Doctor Harrison left. Kai turned back to face Jay.
"I'm your friend too, you know."
Jay looked up at him, confused.
"What?"
"You told Dr Harrison I was Hope's best friend when he asked if you were a friend of mine. You are my friend."
Jay didn't know what to say. He knew they were more than acquaintances, and he classed Kai as a friend. But he never assumed that street went both ways.
"Oh." Was all he managed to say.
Kai rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth.
How about Jessie powering through a tennis match with an upset stomach, and Kai being there to watch and knowing something's wrong. And Jessie makes it to the end but then basically falls apart when he gets to Kai, and Kai gets him out of there so he can get sick. I love the idea of Kai being all grumpy most of the time but then being a lot more reassuring and warm when he's doctoring. Or something like that? Thank you!
Sooooo I said I wouldn't do fics in the future of the current storyline... I lied. I loved this prompt too much to leave it sitting in my drafts. Thanks for the prompt Lis!
Idiot 2.0
Something was wrong and he knew it.
Kai was watching Jessie play, and it was not going well. Normally he would consider Jessie one of the best players in the division. And that's not just because he was falling for him, Jessie was good and all of the local players knew it. So watching him getting annihilated by some old guy who was one bad swing away from a heart attack was something that warranted concern.
He found himself analysing every move Jessie made, noticing each stumble, each half hearted swing, every time he didn't run for a rally he easily should have been able to return with his eyes closer. This wasn't right, and Kai could only think of two reasons. One being that Jessie had some reason to deliberately throw this match, which was incredibly unlikely and surely he wasn't dumb enough to do it so obviously. The second, something was very wrong with Jessie.
They'd grown much closer since their lodge trip, something Kai never wanted to allow himself to belive would happen. They texted most days, would have coffee or lunch together after matches or friendly games, and Jessie genuinely seemed to be enjoying his attention. Which would be wonderful, if it wasn't for the fact that Kai still wanted more. He longed for their friendship to evolve into something more, something more affectionate and... well... a relationship. Which made this newly evolving friendship hard, emotionally. Because he wanted...needed... something from Jessie that there was no chance of happening. He had to remind himself every single time that they spoke that Jessie wasn't gay. That whatever feelings Kai had beyond friendship were not returned. It hurt like hell and made him want to pull away for self-preservation. But that would hurt Jessie. Hell it would hurt the whole friendship group. And Kai would not be the reason for that happening. So he'd sit with the pain of wanting more.
He was pulled from his thoughts as the chair umpire called match point. He watched as Jess took the serve and failed to get it over the net. The second attempt was more successful, but he didn't even attempt to rally back when the ball came back to him. The umpire called the match, Jessie shook the older man's hand, then vanished into the changing rooms. Kai was up and out of his seat, navigating through the small crowd with murmured apologies as he practically shoved them out of the way to get to the changing rooms. He slid inside, making his way to the lockers, which is where he found Jessie. He was sat on the bench, head in his hands, which Kai could see trembling from where he was stood. He approached slowly, making his footsteps heavy to alert Jessie to his presence. He looked up, and Kai saw just how pale he was. Well, that activated Kai's doctor mode faster than he could probably say the word doctor. He reached him and crouched low beside him.
"Remember that time you told me I was an idiot for playing a match with you with a migraine? Well, you're an idiot." But his voice was soft, tender the way he spoke to patients.
Jessie chuckled slightly, wincing and burying his head back into his hands.
"What's your symptoms?" He asked, reaching out and pausing just before making contact. "Can... can I check your temperature real quick?"
He was met with a small nod, so he placed his hand lightly on the back of Jessie's neck. The guy was on fire.
"Okay, symptom one; fever. What else." He coaxed, removing his hand and moving to sit beside Jessie on the bench.
"Throat hurts. Head hurts. Stomach's churning." Jessie rasped, his voice scratchy as hell.
"Right. And how long have you been ill?"
"Woke up yesterday a bit ropey, just felt slowly shittier ever since." He sighed.
"Yeah, so this," Kai gestured to the changing rooms and in the vague direction of the courts, "was a dumbass move. Are you allergic to self preservation?"
"Shut up and take me home. I don't have the energy to cycle."
"You cycled here?" Kai added an extra layer of exasperation to his tone in order to cover up the swell of affection in his chest he felt at being asked to take Jessie home, as well as from his direct communication.
"Ugh I know I know." He rasped, moving to stand and swaying. Without thinking, fully in doctor mode, Kai reached out and steadied him. Shit. Unannounced contact. He wanted to let go, move his hands away and apologise, but if he let go Jessie was going down.
"It's fine." Jessie mumbled as if reading his mind, eyes closed against the dizziness, " I know it's you and I'm not gonna freak. Just... give me a second for everything to stop tilting."
Kai remained silent, tightening his grip now that he knew Jessie was fine with it. A few moments later, Jessie opened his eyes.
"Okay, let's go."
Kai released him but remained ready to catch him as they started the short walk to the car. He got Jessie in the passengers seat, laying it as flat as it would go, then cranked the air con up. As he drove, he glanced over at Jessie every so often. He was getting paler, a light sheen of perspiration covered his face, and he was swallowing convulsively.
"Is that swallowing because your throat hurts or because you're about to redecorate my car?" He asked, tone light but serious. He really didn't feel like getting his car cleaned today.
"Bit of both." Jessie croaked as he rubbed his throat.
Kai reached over, opening the centre console, and handed Jessie a bag from what was lovingly known as Lyla's stash.
"Try and aim in there. Unless you ask, I'm not stopping until you're home. Puke in the bag." Pragmatic.
Jessie hummed a vague response, but kept the bag closed in his lap, where it stayed for the remainder of the drive. As they pulled up at Jessie's apartment building, Kai opened the door, holding out a hand to help Jess out. He took it, using more of his weight to pull him out of the car than Kai was expecting.
"Come on, let's get you inside." Kai slowly and deliberately moved his arm from Jessie's hand and around his shoulder, keeping contact the entire time so Jess knew what he was doing. Getting him inside was more of a mission than he expected. They made it all the way to the buildings door before Jessie pitched forward with a gag. Kai tightened his grip, steering the man from the doorway to the grass just in time for him to throw up a pitiful amount of water.
"Haven't eaten today either then." Kai said, but his hand was reassuringly rubbing Jessie's upper arm, scared that if he moved it to rub his back Jessie would just fall. "Done?"
Jessie nodded with one final spit of saliva on the ground. By the time they were inside, Kai was supporting most of Jessie's weight.
"Couch or bed?" He asked, eyes scanning Jessie's apartment. He'd never been inside before, and was completely unsurprised with how indie the vibe was. Lots of earthy tones, more house plants than any human ever needed to own, and of course a little Buddha on the coffee table.
"Bed." Jessie sighed, pointing to the furthest door. Kai steered him in that direction, opening door and depositing Jessie on the bed. This room was just as indie inspired as the rest of the apartment, with equally as many plants.
"How the fuck do you keep all these plants alive and well, but not yourself?" He scoffed, watching him curl into a ball under the covers.
"Because I like the plants."
Kai froze, not sure what to do with that. Clearly Jessie was feverish and sick, but the level of self hatered saturated his tone. He quickly recovered.
"Yeah? Well I like you more than some stupid plants. So maybe stop pushing yourself when sick and actually look after yourself. Doctor's orders."
Jessie rolled over, clearly processing what he'd just said, then smiled soflty. The soft smile that made Kai's pulse soar.
"I... uh... right. You're in bed. I'll get you water, meds and a bucket then get out of your hair."
He immediately went about searching the apartment for supplies. Having no idea where anything was, he settled on a mug of water, a cooking pot for a bucket, and couldn't find a single packet of medication in the kitchen. His next thought was the bathroom, and that's where he found one measly packet of ibuprofen next to a prescription bottle. He shouldn't look. It's not for him to know... but if Jessie was on medication then, as a doctor, it was his responsibility to make sure there'd be no interaction, right?. He picked up the little orange plastic bottle and turned it over in his hands. His heart clenched, but knowing the little he knew about Jessie's life, he wasn't surprised that it was a bottle of anti-depressants. Placing them back where he found them, he left the bathroom and returned to the bedroom. Jessie was lying on his stomach, face buried in the pillow.
"Take these." He said, setting the pot down by the bed and holding the tablets and drink out as Jessie rolled over.
He eyed the mug, then the cooking pot and snorted.
"Nice." He croaked, taking the tablets.
"Couldn't find anything else." He shrugged.
"Literally a bin in the corner." Jessie pointed out, and Kai momentarily felt dumb.
"Well, there's no liner in it." He shrugged, moving back to the doorway. "Right. Well. Try not to die. I'll text you later, see how you're holding up."
"Kay. Thanks Kai. Owe you one." Jessie mumbled, face back in the pillow.
"Yeah yeah. Don't forget to drink. And no more meds for 4 hours. Call me if you get worse."
