“What do we do now?” Cory asked as they started to walk towards Caiden’s office building.
“I’m going to run the Albino through the database and see if we get any matches.” He was about to add more when Cory received a phone call.
“Go on ahead,” he said, pulling his phone from his pocket. Annoyance made his brows furrow as he realized who was calling. “Why are you calling me? I thought we agreed it was better if we didn’t see each other anymore.”
“I know but Kai misses you alot,” her voice syrupy sweet.
“I miss him too but it’s not fair to him for me to keep going there. It’ll only get his hopes up.”
“That’s why I’ve been thinking we should give it another try. See if things can work between us.” When Cory was silent for longer than she thought he should she continued “what do you think? I really do like you. I was just scared of getting involved with anyone because you know, my ex and all.”
A part of him wanted to believe her. Another part knew she was just using him. “Noelle I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want Kai to get hurt and he will if this doesn’t work out.”
“Please just come for the weekend,” she pleaded, sensing victory. “Kai really wants to see you and we could talk.”
“I’m in the middle of something important…”
“Aren’t we important? Isn’t giving us another chance worth it?”
“Yes of course but I can’t just drop everything on a whim to go to Sulani…”
“What if we go there? We can meet at a park. Talk. See where things go.”
“Fine,” he rolled his eyes wishing he could come up with an excuse to say no. “Noelle I don’t see this changing my mind. We’re done.”
“That’s what you say now,” she giggled “it just means I have my work cut out for me.”
“Whatever,” he mumbled, shaking his head and putting his phone away. He had a feeling she was up to something, he just didn’t know what.
Sitting back she moaned when her phone rang.
“Did you do it?” a man’s deep voice demanded.
“Yeah I did it,” she snapped.
“What time is he arriving in Sulani?”
“He is not coming to Sulani…” she held the phone away from her ear.
“You didn’t do what I told you,” his voice was filled with rage.
“He wouldn’t have believed me,” she huffed. “We were careful and it’s been months since we’ve been together…”
“You could have told him you didn’t know how to tell him,” he snarled “you're a damn good liar when you want to be.”
“And he’d have known I lied the moment he saw me.”
“Not if you had done as I told you and gotten one of those pregnant belly things.”
“I don’t have that kind of money. If I did I wouldn’t have agreed to do this.”
“You would have if you had done as you were told..” he was speaking slowly as if each word was being cut in stone.
“Oh I fully intend on getting what you owe me,” she smirked, “I’m going there.”
“I’m listening.”
“I thought you might be,” she toyed with her hair. “We’ll meet in the San My park.” She outlined the plans she made inwardly laughing at the man’s irritation.
“Not bad,” he grudgingly admitted. “You’re a cold hearted bitch, you know that?”
“That’s why you loved me,” she sighed her mind going back to a time when they had been a good team. Then Kai came along.
“”Is that Cory? Can I talk to him? Is he coming?”
Disconnecting the call before Kai could hear who was on the phone. “No sweetie, he’s not coming here.” At the disappointment in his eyes she added “we’re going there to see him.” She ignored the twinge of guilt twisting her stomach inside out. She had to do this. It was the only way to get the money she needed for her and Kai to disappear forever.
Jonah couldn’t feel the floor beneath his feet as the guards escorted him back to his room. His mind was a kaleidoscope of emotions each warring for precedence inside him. Anger, shame, fear, helplessness but mostly shame. Shame that he complied with the master’s wishes. His cheek was sore and swollen from the master’s hand when he’d failed to comply fast enough. Even the tiniest perception of disobedience was met with some kind of cruel punishment.
The guards shoved him through the door to his and Cecil’s quarters. Too shocked from what he’d just endured he sprawled face first on the floor. He was tempted to just lay there forever. Perhaps the master would punish the guards for mistreating his new toy. An almost hysterical laugh bubbled up from inside him as he crawled towards his bed too weak to attempt getting to his feet and walking the short distance.
Reaching it he covered his face wishing he was anywhere but where he was. Wishing that the hurt reproachful look his mind kept conjuring up of Ethan’s face would change to one of empathy. That the words he’d say was that he understood and that when they were together again this wouldn’t matter. The flicker of doubt troubled him more than he wanted to admit.
Cecil barely slept at night. When he wasn’t attending to his duties with the master, dancing or doing other designated tasks, he spent the days locked in his room dreaming of stars. It felt like such a hollow existence. He was allowed books, if he behaved, at the behest of his master, written in braille, he couldn’t read one single word in them, but he dreamt of what they could mean.
When the door opened, Cecil turned their back to the door, pretending to sleep, as he always did, listening to every sound. A familiar smell came to him, a broken smell of desperation and sweat. He heard Jonah be thrown in and the small hysterical laughter, right after the door was closed behind him, had Cecil lift his head and turn towards the sound.
“Jonah?” He called.
Pressing his lips to a thin line, he sat on the bed and got up, slowly walking towards Jonah’s side of the bedroom. It had been Jonah’s first night, so he imagined the horror. He could feel it crawling under his skin like vermins, the touch of that man.
“Jonah?…” He reached for the bed, touching the sheets, his fingers searching for him.
Pressing a hand to his mouth Jonah tried to stifle a sob. It tore through him with the force of a hurricane.
“I tried to fight,” the words tumbled from his lips “I wanted to fight. To hurt him like he was hurting me but….but … ” Sobs took his words away. Nothing he did stopped what was happening to him. He felt caught in his worst nightmare. He tried to just lay there and let him do what he wanted but that too was wrong.
“I want to go home,” he wailed knowing that even there he’d never get the stench and the feel of him off his skin.
He could feel the bed moving as Cecil moved towards him. He was tempted to not answer him but he needed the comfort of another person who understood the pain he was going through. “How can you do this over and over again,” he asked.
Cecil gently touched his shoulder, feeling the way he trembled and wailed.
“I’m sorry, Jonah… I’m sorry he hurt you. I’m sorry you have to go through this!”
He wanted to assure him, to tell him it would get better, or that he would get used to it.
“I know you want to go home. And you will! You will go home! Your family is looking for you! They won’t give up! Trust me!”
He slowly wrapped his arms around Jonah pulling him to lay his head on his lap if he wanted to, rubbing his shoulder.
“It’s going to be okay.”
He thought of his question. He didn’t have an answer. He knew very well the desperation Jonah felt, that disgust one felt of themself for allowing such to be done to them. He closed his eyes, the question hanging heavy.
Something of what Cecil said gnawed at the back of Jonah's mind. Something that pulled him a little from his own suffering. Lying with this head in the dragons lap trying to piece it together in his head. Home. Family. That was it. Never once had he said his family was looking for him. Just Jonah.
“Don’t you have a family?” he asked, his voice was small like a child seeking information but afraid to do or say the wrong thing. “Aren’t they looking for you? Don’t you have a home to go back to?”
He knew that maybe Cecil didn’t have the same loving family background that he made his heart ache. He wanted him to have those things and if he didn’t, what kept him to want to continue this existence. What made him so strong?
He wondered also if maybe he could be that strong too. It wasn’t something he’d ever considered before about himself. He was weak. Needy. Someone who needed to be taken care of. But was he? Or had he just allowed himself to believe those things because others thought of him that way?
He felt bad thinking that Ethan never told him he could be strong. It was always I’ll take care of you. You can lean on me. I’ll protect you. Take this pill and everything will be ok when you wake up. Words without substance were just words.
Cecil gently brushed Jonah’s hair, looking ahead. The question actually caught him by surprise. He licked his lips.
“No. I don’t have a family. And home?” He scoffed. “I lived in a cave, where I collected bobbles that felt soft or smelled nice. I was told not to leave. Me being here means I clearly left at some point. Some people found me, taught me how to turn to this shape so I could accompany them. They promised to show me so much. I could feel the sand, the ocean, smell the flowers and sense the stars… They promised…”
He looked down at Jonah. “Forgive me, I don’t want to burden you with my sob story.”
Taking a deep breath Cecil continued, “I want to live, live long enough to either see time punish him, and if not, I want to outlive him. I want to feel him grow old and weak and sick and feel him wither. Then I’ll be free.” There was anger in his voice, every repulse and every disgust and shame he felt coloring his voice with an unfiltered rage.
Sitting up jolted from his own misery Jonah said, “that’s awful.”
With jerky, halting movements he took Cecil’s hand in his. “You have family now. I’ll be your family.”
He wasn’t sure exactly where he was going with this other than he knew it was true. It’s what his heart was telling him was true. “If, as you say, my family is coming for me, then we’ll leave together. I won’t leave you behind. Not with him.”
It was a promise he fully intended on keeping. He just didn’t know how yet. His lips quivered, fighting the tears that still coursed down his face. “What do you think? Would you like to be my brother? My family?”
Cecil looked at him, eyes wide with surprise at the proposition. Family? Brother? He liked the sound of that, the sound of family. Closing his eyes he nodded, brushing Jonah’s hair gently away from his face, he placed a hand on his cheek, reassuring.
“Yes. I’d love to be your brother, Jonah! Thank you!”
Though he doubted on the part where they would come for him, to help him escape, as many others had promised the same, he still, nonetheless, wanted to hope. And stars, was Jonah’s hopeful and genuine voice enough to make him want to believe, hope.
Giving Jonah a playful smile.
“Be like a… dead fish!” He laugh3e. “It helps. Just, when he comes to you, don’t think about it. Don’t think about it, it’s what I do. I don’t dwell on what happens, on what he does. You just need to make it through another day, long enough to survive. I just do what he wants and if it gets too hard I just pretend to be a dead fish and lay there while thinking about… a way out!” He smiled.
“Dead fish huh?” he chuckled leaning into Cecil “I’ll have to try that next time.”
He shuddered at the idea of a next time but that he knew there would be a next time didn’t fill him with the same kind of dread. It was just the way it had to be. Something he had to do to survive. He had a reason to live. A purpose. He had to live long enough to see Cecil out of here. That was a concrete motivation where seeing his children and husband again seemed more and more like a dream.
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