I really feel like I need to clear up some stuff, so that’s why I’m making this post. And I’ve been thinking about it for a several time now, so I just need to say it.
I’ll try to explain myself the best I can.
First of everything, I’ve my own opinion about Kai character itself.
Don’t you guys think the fandom has created a “Kai” that differs from what we actually know about Kai?
To tell the truth, I think Kai is the most popular character in the fandom that we know less about. He’s seen in less than the half of the story; we certainly know way too little about him. The fandom has created a Kai that is all about comprehension, heroism, kindness, peace, perfection and sparkles. So I think that’s not entirely accurate to the character. It’s like we’re idealizing the character. For me the Kai we think we know it’s fake, because the fandom has attributed him many behaviors that we can’t tell whether it’s possible or not, because we don’t know him.
And truly Sakurai doesn’t seem to have a lot of interest in that character?
This fact for me it’s the same as making him OOC, and personally I don’t like OOCness. It’s like my dislike for extreme AUs (for example, making an skating Ajin AU) they change so much the character and their environment that it’s not the character anymore. It’s like wanting to change completely someone you “like”, if you want to change them then you don’t actually like them. What you like is an idealization.
I understand why you guys feel attracted to the idea of Kai and Kei being in love.
Because they were childhood friends. But honestly they haven’t been around each other since they were like 6-8 years old?? (according the way Kei gave him up because his mom told him to do so). So, lots of years lacking communication, how much do you think they actually know each other right now? Their appreciation for each other doesn’t change through the years though, and they can still care, but you can’t truly love someone without knowing them to the fullest. If you think you do, then yet again, what you love is not the person, but an idealization of what you believe about the person.
Because of Kai’s obsession. And he certainly would blindly do anything for Kei. But why would you risk so much for someone you just used to know and has treated you bad for so long? So it’s easy to believe he’s in love, right?, I think there could be multiple reasons; 1) He’s an idiot. 2) He’s a romanticist 3) He’s in love 4) He’s lonely (I believe he might be desperate to preserve that ‘only friend’ he ever had, so he wants to be important to someone somehow). So there you see Kai rescue Kei, helping him escape, and purposing him to start a new life with him isolated from everyone they could know (yeah, I think he’s a romanticist). So I understand it’s easy to fall for this. So what I believe that happens is that you get married to this idea from the start, and it’s like an idea planted in your brain that, hereafter, starts working for that benefit = Making you idealize things.
Kei thinks about Kai. I don’t doubt Kai’s an important person to Kei, because they shared good times when they were kids and Kai has helped him a lot. But despite grateful feelings (and some guilt) I actually haven’t perceived anything else from Kei towards Kai? sorry. Not even a single thought since they parted ways (the time Kei dreamt about Kai, I think it meant more like he was hoping he could just ran away from all the mess that was happening, that he never asked for, since we’ve always known that he only wants to live in peace; so in his brain, I think it’s easy to relate escaping = Kai). Also, when he’s crying in vol. 2 saying he will not betray Kai, I didn’t really understand what it had to do with killing the guy??, but well, I think Kei is so grateful to him that he feels he needs to do something equivalent for him. That’s it. Although this subject hasn’t been mentioned again.
The anime tries too hard to sell you this idea. Don’t get me started with how obvious this was. It was pretty clear that the anime production was working for the benefit of this pairing, making Kai the principal factor of the trailers, to make you watch it. Because they know it was a good way to attract fangirls, and the fangirls Ajin already had, will be craving for more material of Kai and KaiKei, since it’s nonexistent in the real story, the manga. So.. they try to give you more material about them, but honestly I find it so lame? I feel the anime production doesn’t want to change way too much their relationship (they base on the few that there actually is in the manga) and end up doing repetitive stuff with cliche phrases like “because we’re friends” “you never change tehe” “you’re truly an idiot tehehe”. It’s so cheap for me.
It always happens
This tendency of idealizing characters or OTPs might not be a secret, it happens to everyone of us at some point, in some moment, or always, with any pairing. So I’m not saying that it is a crime or anything...What it’s important to me, is to what extent we let it happen.
I’m not the exception
I’m not saying I’m not a victim of this pattern of idealizing OTPs or characters. Because it’s happened to me too.
You might be asking, then why do I have drawings about them?
My OT3 (KaiKeiKou) comic. This is a story I really enjoy making and I actually like this OT3, because the idea of a healthy poly-loving relationship that actually works fascinates me, and I have so much fun managing those situations. But you see, in my comic it’s clear I always have preference for KouKei.
Other drawings Kai x Kei alone. Most of them were for friends (one of them was for selling).
Don’t get me wrong.
I’m not saying you guys are wrong for liking this ship, everyone is free to like and fall for what they want, and I respect that. But we always choose what to fall for- So, with this I’m just telling you why I don’t buy this ship.
I’m able to see and enjoy some art Kai x Kei, because I mostly admire the drawings? or appreciate the artist. But not because I’m actually on board.
I can talk about it. When it’s about friends, that I know they like it, it doesn’t bother me to hear/read them talk/write about it. It’s nice to have someone you can talk about the things you like, right? And I’m glad to do that for my friends.
What bothers me.
Yeah... the truth is that this ship only bothers me when it somehow damages my OTP (KouKei).
Kai x Kei steal fans from the start. They get married with that idea and (sometimes) makes fans reject the idea of someone else being with Kei. Some other times, they like KouKei too, or an OT3, but they always prefer Kai x Kei, because it was the first.
Because of this there’s lots of more material KaiKei than KouKei. Which also make fans get on board that ship.
The anime fucked up the relationship of Kou and Kei, puting their effort in making it Kai x Kei.
And all this is pretty frustrating for me because it affects something I love. You might not find this fair, but I think Kou and Kei have a lot more canon-ly fundaments than Kei and Kai. They’ve been interacting for way more chapters than what Kai and Kei have, and the way their relationship has evolved is pretty significant. I can’t help but want to ask scream to you guys: why don’t you see it????
I thought way too much about posting this or not, because I didn’t want to offend anyone, especially not my friends (I hope you don’t believe I’m some kind of hypocrite, I hope I had explained myself well). But the truth is this was something that’s been in the back of my mind for so long and bothered me from time to time, that I really needed to write it down.
Especially thanks to my sister @lia-snow and @leukaraii that encouraged me to do this, they were the only ones that saw how this actually affected me.
I binge watched the second season of Ajin and now all of the feels are back.
I know I post a drawing here like, once every 100 years so If you want to follow me where I am more active I suggest you do it on one of main art pages:
