#kaivents

[subbydream]

Having BPD sucks

Having a crush and having BPD sucks more

0/10 don't recommend

(will delete later)

[subbydream]

I feel generally so lonely and undesirable in the lesbian community bc of how I look

I'm not lesbian pretty nor lesbian handsome

I just want a partner

I just wanna be loved and cherished

Fuck

[subbydream]

Hello angel, don't feel that way. Loneliness is hard I understand. You're smart and beautiful, you deserve so much. 💗 I've often felt that way and I think that's why I enjoy exhibitionism so much, as like a love letter to myself. And isn't that what this is? All the beautiful things you would say to someone.

I'm just tired of it tbh.

I'm tired of being alone, I'm tired of being left behind. And I know I'm young and yada yada yada so many of my older friends love to say that but I honestly feel like I've been robbed of something. Many ppl have told me the same. I feel like I've been robbed of an important part of my teenage years.

So many times I've been the theoretical relationship. Idk how to explain this properly but it has happened so many times now. The flirty "oh it would be so nice" that turns out to be empty of anything meaningful. And I'm just tired of that.

I'm tired of people sexting and being nice when it's like that but then ghosting me or ignoring me whenever it's anything more.

I'm tired of being the chaser. Of always being the first to text and the one to keep the convo going.

It's just not fair

(sorry for the vent)

[subbydream]

I need someone to choke me so I can finally feel like I can breathe again

[kaimiirudragon-blog]

I’ve lusted to wander.

I’ve wandered and become lost.

How can I help someone who is lost when I am completely lost myself?

Still, I can’t help but hope to find a way.

[kaimiirudragon-blog]

Brave

Someone told me they admired my bravery today, with the utmost sincerity. Truthfully, I am afraid of so many things. But I guess giving up on my fear-induced cowardly thoughts because I've made a decision is a form of bravery too. Holding out my hand to the things I fear just for the curious adrenaline rush and the satisfaction of overcoming is a form of bravery too. In a world where my every cowardly action haunts me at night, how can I not be brave?

[kaimiirudragon-blog]

Sometimes I really wish the world could end so maybe this unfairness could possibly change It wouldn't solve much but maybe humans would be reminded of how fragile their lives are and how they should cherish them and one another It would kill millions of innocent people though and I know it's mostly a thing born out of hatred So I guess the only thing I can do is be the best person I can be in the fucked up world because there's enough fucktards out there.