After over a year of dating Hideyoshi Nagachika discovers his boyfriend is, in fact, a vampire.
“So, like. Do you ever poop?”
“So you’re a vampire, huh.”
It was said so casually that Kaneki wasn’t sure he heard right at first. “Huh?” he mumbled into his coffee. He took another sip then set his mug down, eyebrows quirked as he waited for his grinning boyfriend’s reply.
“You’re a vampire.”
Alright, he heard it that time.
“Whaaat?” he deadpanned. Internally he was freaking out, because that was a well hidden secret Kaneki had been harboring for years now. After he was turned at the end of a really bad date with a really cute but nonhuman girl, he’d resigned himself to being a recluse. Hide wouldn’t let him though, and that was how they ended up rooming together despite Kaneki refusing to befriend anybody who wasn’t undead like him. It was less messy.
This was why. Hide knew, apparently, and Kaneki didn’t know how but he knew how this would end. Hide would leave, probably, if not now then eventually, and Kaneki wasn’t sure if he could handle that. Not this time.
“Yeah,” Hide continued, oblivious to Kaneki inner angst. “I figured it out. It was pretty obvious, I was just never sure until recently.”
“You sound ridiculous, you know that?” Kaneki didn’t like how his hand shook as he reached for his coffee again.
“I found the bloodbags, dude. Gotta say it’s admirable that you don’t drink from people like in the movies, though I’m not really surprised.” He approached Kankei, who was frozen staring at his coffee cup. “It just doesn’t fit you, the whole vampire hunting humans in dark alley thing.” He put his hand on Kaneki’s shoulder. “Stop trembling. I’m not scared of you. Hey.”
Kaneki didn’t realize how much he was shaking until Hide kneeled down to kiss his forehead.
“You’re my little sexy vampire, I’m not gonna leave you.”
Kaneki let out a miffed bark of laughter. “Did you just call me your sexy little vampire?”
“Yes. Yes I did.”
“You’re a dork. You found out I’m a blood-sucking monster and you say it’s sexy. I can’t believe this.” He put his shaking hand to hide his eyes, though he didn’t bother hiding his grin.
“Hey, haven’t you read Twilight? That shits hot. I got my own Edward now.”
“Oh my god.”
“Let’s just hope you don’t knock me up and have to turn me into a vampire so I don’t die after giving birth to our mutant human-vampire hybrid child.”
“Oh my god.”
“So, like. Do you ever poop?”
Kaneki gave Hide the most absolutely Done look he’s ever given.
“Seriously.”
“Yeah! I mean, I’ve seen you drink coffee but that’s it. You don’t eat anything but you suck down those bloodbags like nobodys business. So, like, does that mean you don’t poop?”
“Hide.”
“It’s a legitimate question.”
“No, it’s not.”
“This is for science, Kaneki.”
“Oh my god.”
“While we’re at it, how do you get boners? You don’t have a heartbeat yet you can get boners? It doesn't make sense. Do you use the blood of your victims to pitch a tent? Ugh, that’s kind of fucked up.”
Kaneki groaned and threw his pillow over his face. “Hide, we just had sex. Like, you came minutes before you asked if I pooped. What is wrong with you.”
Hide shrugged. “What can I say. I’m a scientist.”
“You’re flunking your bio class.”
“I’m a vampirecist.”
“That’s not even a thing.”
“It is now. I just made it up. Right now. Me. My thing.”
Kaneki rolled onto his side and frowned. His frown deepened when Hide rolled over to face him and grinned.
“You’re so stupid.”
Hide leaned forward to bump their noses together. “But you love me.”
Kaneki didn’t bother hiding his smile. “Yeah. That’s true.”
Satisfied, Hide pulled back but stayed facing his sleepy vampire boyfriend. A comfortable silence fell between them so of course Hide had to ruin it by talking.
“…So do you poop or nah?”
“Garlic pizza?”
Kaneki stared at the box and then looked back at Hide’s eager smile. He sighed and took a slice, looked Hide dead in the eyes, and took a huge bite. Hide’s face fell.
“Aw, shoot, so that means garlics a myth too.”
Kaneki swallowed.
“So is the inability to eat human food.” Hide sulked. “I was just gonna eat it then kiss you and see if you melted or not.”
“Wow, touching.” Kaneki put the pizza back in the box. “I can eat, I just don’t need to eat. There’s a difference. Food doesn’t really have flavor to us, and it doesn’t really serve any nutritional value, so the only time vampires eat it so keep up airs.”
Hide was quiet, eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he stared at the pizza Kaneki had bitten into, one hand resting on his chin.
“What now?” Kaneki dared to ask.
Hide looked at him, determined. “So that means you can poop!”
“HIDE.”
A choked moan left his throat as Kaneki ran his lips up his shivering human’s neck, pressing a tender kiss up his jawline to meet his lips. Hide wiggled closer, tossing his legs on either side of Kaneki so he could straddle his lap. He reached down to tug at his boxers, irritated that they were still on him while Kaneki was bare and ready.
“Impatient,” Kaneki said fondly as he helped Hide undress. He kissed him over and over, savoring the taste of his tongue and breath and just, Hide, and gently pushed him back onto the bed. Hide playfully threw his arms around Kaneki’s neck then wrapped his legs around his waist. Kaneki rolled his eyes.
“This is so not sexy.”
“It so is,” Hide said with a grin. He leaned up to peck his vampire boyfriend’s nose, then used his legs to pull him down so their hips met. Kaneki moaned. “Still not sexy?”
“Honestly, stop talking.”
“You love the sound of my voice,” Hide said.
“Only when you’re moaning my name,” Kaneki said, voice a low growl, and he rolled his hips against Hide’s.
“H-Hey, no fair,” Hide gasped. “You can’t use lines you stole from a porn.”
“I didn’t--“ Kaneki stopped, deciding to shut Hide up by just getting on with this sex thing already. He was hard and Hide was adorable and delicious and he wanted to be inside of him before Hide talked his ear off and got rid of the good mood. It had happened before. Last time Hide stopped in the middle to look at Kaneki’s boner and ask about the vampire blood thing again and Kaneki didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day.
“Hey,” Hide murmured, softly, and Kaneki knew he was done messing around because he only used that voice when he was really into it and ready to purr out sweet words rather than bad puns. “I wanna try something.”
Kaneki popped open the lube and looked at Hide curiously.
“Uhh,” Hide said, biting his lip when Kaneki poured the liquid onto his hand. “I want you to…well…suck my blood.”
Kaneki froze. “What?”
“Just hear me out.” Hide propped himself up on his elbows. “I trust you. You trust me, right?”
Kaneki nodded slowly. “Well, yeah, but that’s not the issue here.”
“I know, I know, but I was talking to Rize-san and--“
“What?” Kaneki squeezed his fist so hard the lube oozed from between his fingers, which was gross, but he was too angry to really care. “Why would you talk to her?”
“Don't worry, Touka-san was there! She was just visiting.”
Kaneki scowled. “And nobody told me.”
“Well, I mean, Touka-san figured you’d be this mad so she didn’t. Anyway, Rize-san told me a vampire bite is supposed to feel really good. Like, how a snake releases venom when it bites? But vampire venom is more like an aphrodisiac or something. So anyway, I figured it’d be fun to try. Besides, you’d like fresh blood, right? And, uh, honestly…I kind of want you to…y’know, to like…stake claim or whatever…” Hide murmured at the end, ducking his head. He was acting uncharacteristically shy.
Then again, he was saying some ridiculous stuff.
Rize aside, it did sound...appealing. Other vampires would smell Kaneki on him and stay far away. It would make Hide feel good. Warm blood, the blood of the boy he loved, was very appealing. Kaneki just wasn’t totally confident in his self-control.
As if sensing this Hide motioned Kaneki over. Hesitantly, he wiped his lube-covered hand on the sheets (they were getting washed later anyway) and crawled over to him. Hide pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, then his forehead.
“I trust you. Trust yourself a little, too?”
That was how Kaneki found himself thrusting into Hide twenty minutes later, tongue on his neck as Hide let out absolutely filthy sounds. It was scary how good Hide was at persuading Kaneki. He could probably talk Kaneki into getting a centipede tattoo on his face if he really wanted to.
He grazed his fangs along Hide’s neck and felt Hide’s pulse quicken, heard his breath jump. “Okay?” he murmured as he thrust forward into him again. Hide moaned then nodded, raking his fingernails down Kaneki’s back as he braced himself.
Kaneki took a breath and kissed the wet spot on Hide’s neck, then slowly sank his fangs in--
and Hide passed out.
“Oh god don’t look at me.”
Kaneki stared, amused, at the ball of blankets that was his boyfriend as he hid on their bed in shame. He had woken up moments ago and immediately kicked Kaneki off the bed and dove under the sheets to whine.
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Not only did I pass out in the middle of awesome sex, but I passed out when you barely broke skin! Am I wimp or what! God!”
“It was your first time being bitten by a vampire. I’m uh, sure it’s…normal?” Kaneki inched closer. “I’m sorry.”
After a short bout of silence Hide poked his head out from under the covers.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“I knew it was a bad idea, yet I did it anyway, I just--“ Kaneki blabbered. Hide suddenly flew out from under the covers and tackled Kaneki. He kissed his face then held it in both his hands, his expression serious.
“Shut up. It was my idea. You didn’t do anything.”
“But--“
Hide leaned forward and bit into Kaneki’s neck, hard.
“Ow!”
“There, we’re even,” Hide said, admiring the bite mark on his boyfriend’s pale neck. Kaneki couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up inside of him, and soon they were both in bed laughing together under the sheets, half naked and tired. They didn’t even bother continuing their sexy romp from earlier. Kaneki just spent the night kissing Hide’s neck until they both fell asleep.
A part of Hide knew Kaneki probably wasn't going to come back on his own. He had always been the type to shoulder everything himself regardless of how everyone around him felt about it. This meant there was no way he would ever let Hide help him, to try and protect his best friend from danger but also from the truth. A small, ugly part of Hide despised that. Kaneki had no idea Hide knew the truth about what happened to his friend, but Hide knew. He knew and he ached as Kaneki became more and more withdrawn around him while he seemed to be accepted into the folds of Anteiku and thrive there. Now he had left Anteiku and not even Touka was sure of where he was, from what Hide could tell. Everything was just a huge mess and Hide couldn't do anything about it. That was what hurt the most. A rueful smile crossed over his face as he stared out of Anteiku's window, watching the rain splatter against the pavement and the glass. Things had been much simpler only a few months ago. Hide might have actually been able to help his friend then, when their only problems were human ones. Now, Hide was basically useless. "Here you go," Touka said, bringing over Hide's coffee. She didn't bother with her fake work smile in front of him. There was some sort of mutual understanding between them now that Kaneki was gone, and Hide's smile was mournful but genuine when he thanked her. "Part of me hopes he's going to just waltz in and apologize for being gone so long," Hide admits out loud, staring into the coffee like the steam rising off of it will show him what he wants to know. Touka sits across from him at the table, a sad smile of her own present. "He's too damn noble for that. He's going to keep on doing what he feels is necessary even it means he has to suffer. All for the sake of 'protecting us' or some bullshit like that," Touka sighed, propping her elbows up on the table and dropping her chin into her hands. "He always used to think that it would be better if he got hurt instead of others. He never said it out loud, but it was something I picked up on. Now I'm not so sure what he's trying to do anymore," Hide sighed, frowning at his coffee. "You and me both," Touka snorted, turning her gaze out at the rain. "It doesn't matter how strong he's gotten; he's still an idiot for not letting anyone else help him," she huffed, glaring at nothing in particular. "I wish there was something I could do to help, but I think anything ghoul related is a little out of my calibre," Hide chuckled, scratching his cheek with his index finger. Touka whipped her head to face him, eyes wide in alarm. Hide just gave a small, defeated smile. "I've known for a long time about him," Hide confessed, taking a sip of his coffee before putting it down again. "It wasn't hard to figure out, though I didn't really believe it at first. It doesn't matter to me though, he's still the lonely bookworm I've always known even if he can't have burgers with me anymore." Touka seemed unsure how to process the information, just quietly staring at Hide as she tried to think of something to say. Hide sipped at his coffee, letting her think of a response. The rain still fell against the windows, the dull pitter-patter filling the silence of the shop. "Not many people would keep quiet after finding out their best friend was turned into a ghoul," Touka said after a moment, and Hide only laughed, little humor in the sound. "I'm not most people, Touka-chan. I joined the CCG to find him, y'know," Hide added with a lopsided smile. "I can't do much for him but be there whenever he needs a friend, though I can't really even do that much when he's not around for me to be a friend," Hide sighed, bringing his cup up to his lips. "He's lucky you're not most people," Touka murmured, casting her gaze out the window again. A frown crossed her face when she spotted something, quickly morphing into shock as she jumped out of her chair. "No way," Touka breathed, her eyes wide as she stared out the window of Anteiku. Hide followed her gaze to where a head of white hair was down the street, gazing up into the shop. It took Hide a moment to realize why Touka had gasped at the stranger, and as soon as it hit him he was bolting out the door. "Hide!" Touka called after him, but he didn't care how hard it was raining. He took the steps down as fast as he could, nearly stumbling as he sprinted his way up the street. Kaneki was there, soaking wet and staring in disbelief, frozen to the spot as Hide ran up to him, stopping a few meters apart. "Hide..." Kaneki said, dumbfounded and barely audible over the heavy rainfall. Hide bent over, hands on his knees as he caught his breath, and grinned up at his best friend. "Kaneki," Hide replied, still winded but finally getting in enough air he was able to talk properly. He straightened himself before approaching Kaneki, who still was rooted to the spot. "Why are you...?" Kaneki frowned, white eyebrows coming together, and Hide waved a hand dismissively, cocking his head with a smile. "Ever since I found out the truth it's been impossible to get ahold of you y'know," Hide chided, trying to suppress the aching feeling crawling up his chest at the horrified look that came over Kaneki. "W-What?" Kaneki asked, taking a step back. Hide felt his sad smile crawling over his face, stepping forward until there was hardly any distance between them. "I know. I've known for a while," Hide murmurs, holding Kaneki's gaze with his own. Kaneki has never looked as small as he has then, soaked to the bone and so uncertain. Hide smiles at his hesitance, letting his gaze roam over his friend. Kaneki had definitely changed, and not just his white hair either. His face seemed to be more angular, more mature. He had gained quite a bit of muscle too from what Hide could tell, especially through the wet outfit clinging to his frame. This wasn't the same boy Hide had known for most of his life, but that same Kaneki was still there too, behind all of this new strength. "Jeez, look at that hair. You don't blend in very well do you?" Hide teased, reaching out to brush some wet strands away from Kaneki's eyes. There was humor returning to Kaneki's expression, a small upwards curve of his lips and softening of his expression. There was the Kaneki Hide knew. "...It's good to see you, Hide," Kaneki murmured, his eyes shimmering as he met his friend's gaze again. He hesitated before reaching out, cupping Hide's cheek in one hand. Hide placed his own hand on top of Kaneki's, turning his face into the touch. The visible warmth in Kaneki's gaze was enough to make everything worth it. Nothing else mattered to Hide after Kaneki closed the distance. It didn't matter that he was absolutely soaked and would most definitely get sick. It didn't matter that he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Kaneki's neck and pull him closer. It didn't matter that Touka was probably still watching them, or that they were out where anyone else could see. The only thing that mattered was Kaneki's lips moving with his, and the knowledge that he wasn't going anywhere for a while. Everything else could come later.
