#kanshouku

[loveoaths]

xoxo

[verumaeternus]

kanshouku replied to your post “@naimitsuno​”

i thought you were gay before the pot

[alkhemya]

@kanshouku 

i’ve got a question for you :3 ❝ 🅐🅡🅔 🅨🅞🅤 🅢🅘🅝🅖🅛🅔.❞

[thousandbirds]

‘ did you take the keys? i don’t have them. also do you have a clothes change for later? i’m not taking you to lunch in those pants. the legs are too long, you seem ready to trip all over the place. didn’t you find anything your size? ‘             @kanshouku​

[loveoaths]

UNPROMPTED ASK !

haku is no stranger to torture, both giving & receiving. they learned to survive it as a child, to appreciate it   —  even to envision it as artful in a sick way. there have been  . . .  instances, where extreme wrath has propelled them into experiencing a giddy satisfaction in exacting brutal punishments upon those deserving. that was retribution. that was justice. a job well done. satisfaction was rightfully theirs.

today was not like that.

today, haku treated killing like a game for the first time in years. it had been so easy to let the animal inside free with hiraku at their side egging them on. untying the leash around their neck.   

you’ve gone soft haku.     you can do better than that.      betcha can kill two with one senbon if y’put some spin on it.         how many d’ya think i can string up in one go?

on & on. 

& haku played willingly.

they’d forgotten how cruel they really were beneath their sheepskin cloak.

hiraku cradles haku’s hand like a delicate thing: robin eggs, bird bones, stained glass. expertise guides gauze around bruised knuckles, chafing callouses, scrapes, all the usual marks of combat, a warm thumb brushing the top of haku’s palm.  

hiraku ran nibari through seven men today.

their konoha peers had scrambled backward, throats suddenly dried up. but haku ? haku had just laughed.

the irony is galling.

fingers twitch with warring impulse — do they grasp at hiraku like a lifeline, or do they shove him away?

would it make a difference either way ?

haku does not look at hiraku. does not look anywhere but the small heart-shaped mirror hanging from the branches of one of the potted monsteras.

brown eyes narrow at the ghostly figures in the mirror, staring into themself. a blood splatter has dried against their cheek, darkened to crust. they brush it away, stares at the smear of blush it smears across their cheek. the weight in their stomach curls in on itself; at the same time the darkness in their chest expands behind their ribcage, buoyant & weighty &  —  proud, they realize with a start.

they are proud of what they did today.

the beast within them paces in triumph. the human they try to be turns away in shame.

❛   Is it ?   ❜

their voice is tired, flat, flinty & cool. a sharp departure from softness, patience.

words become weapons dark & graceful as a dagger between the ribs. haku pulls away from hiraku. the untied bandage on their right hand unspools, pooling across hiraku’s knee. haku’s fingers curls into fists. it hurts. they clench tighter.

❛   They said we were like animals.   ❜

there is so much iron in haku’s blood, in the blood on their hands. the same blood that dripped & pooled in every hidden niche in water country. kirigakure was where monsters were made. how vain of them to think they’d be any different.

they want to be. oh, how they yearn to be human.

wanting something to be true doesn’t make it so.

haku knows this better than most.

we love the things we love for what they are reverberates behind heavy eyelids.  haku’s gaze slips back to years long since past. they have loved much, so fiercely in their years: people, concepts, abstractions, things. almost all of them terrible in the cleanest sense of the word.  yet haku had loved them, viscerally, for their blood & bone & weakness & strength like the animal they are: forever ravenous for anyone & anything as soiled & dark as they believe themself to be.

konoha may have been fooled, but hiraku knew the truth: haku is all teeth. & now haku was forced to see it too.

it makes terrible sense, then. how readily hiraku reappeared & slipped between their ribs to occupy room in their heart.

❛   My friends are afraid of me now. They called us monsters.  ❜

haku laughs, a strangely strained & dark thing more akin to a bark. haku tosses flowing hair like they’re shaking the thoughts from their head, shoving their face into their hands. 

they don’t want to see the truth sitting in front of them: they are not who they want to be. 

the truth is when haku looks into a mirror, hiraku looks back.

❛    Something happens to me when I am with you. I hate it. I hate how easy it is to be what I was back then.   ❜

@kanshouku​

[healimals]

kissu

@kanshouku 

kissu uvu

[carrionfeigned]

@kanshouku​ // ♥

                “-- HEY! YOU ALMOST STEPPED ON ME! WATCH IT, PUNK!!”

[h-toga]

“And that makes it okay?”

(੭ु ›ω‹ )੭ु⁾⁾♡

‘  i think you WANT me to say no , right ?  ’ she’d taken enough of those quizzes with the police before , same with the people who ‘ rehabilitated ‘ her. it was boring and infuriated her after all they both knew ‘   — the truth is that OUR voices never mattered in the first place ; EVER . you just want US in a box to be thrown away … ’

‘  so just SHUT UP , you don’t know anything !  ’