Anne of Green Gables Meets Karen Brewer
A: Hello! I’m an orphan!
K: OK…
A: Don’t you just love the word orphan? It’s just so whimsical and wistful – I can just picture myself, sitting at the side of a road, with my chin in my hands gazing at the world, all alone. Of course, in my imaginings, I have dimples, and hair that is long and thick and just as black as the raven’s wing. There is something so ethereal about black hair, don’t you think? So romantic. No romantic heroine ever had red hair, I don’t imagine…
K: My sister’s friend has red hair. But she’s kind of annoying. Her little sister can’t even spell. She said that ‘Crushers’ should be spelt with a ‘K’ but I think…
A: Oh! Ever so many people think I am annoying. Marilla says I could talk the ear off the whole town given half a chance. But I do like talking. There is just so much for one to say! Marilla says that orphans shouldn’t annoy people. She says that there are so many orphans in the world that those who come to have families should appreciate it properly and do just whatever everyone wants. But I…
K: I have TWO families. I’m a two-two.
A: Two-two? Whatever do you mean?
K: I have TWO families. And TWO houses. A big one and a little one. I have TWO bicycles, one at each house. I’m a prodigy. Everyone thinks so.
A: Well then! How lucky you are! However, I don’t envy you. At least, I shall try. Mrs Lynde says that one should be content with what one has, and I have everything I need. The world is just wonderful, don’t you think? If only my hair wasn’t quite so very red. But Diana says, she says that my hair is ever so welcoming. She says it just draws you in, like a light in a window. Is that just the most poetic thing you ever heard? Besides, you know, she did say that my hair is more auburn than red, and I do hope she is right. I’m afraid she’s just being kind though. She’s ever so kind. She’s my bosom friend, you know.
K: I have TWO bosom friends. Hannie AND Nancy.
A: Well…
K: I have a little brother AND an older sister.
A: Certainly, I…
K: I have TWO pairs of glasses. Pink ones AND blue ones.
A: Well ,that’s…
K: I win spelling bee’s all the time. Can you spell? I bet you can’t. I can spell your name. A-N-N.
A: (smiling engagingly) Actually, it has an ‘e’ on the end of it. Anne with an ‘e’. It’s just so much more romantic that way, don’t you think? Of course, I wanted to be called ‘Cordelia’. Isn’t that just a perfectly beautiful name? I feel I could be just wholly content with a name like ‘Cordelia’. I should only wear white dresses, all the time, and I should put flowers in my hair, and boys would call on me, but I should only smile and wish them well. Except if a certain boy whose name begins with G should call. Then I shouldn’t even smile. Diana says…
K: Ann definitely does NOT have an E on the end. Can’t you even spell your own name?
A: I…
K: Emily Michelle can spell her name. And she’s a baby, and she’s Vietnamese and she’s an orphan too!
A: What’s a Vietnamese?
K: Green Gables doesn’t even sound like a real place. I think you made it up.
A: Excuse me? ‘Stoneybrook’?... Dear friend, I don’t want to fight. We must settle our dispute like ladies.
K: (suspicious) Like Lovely Ladies?
A: Exactly! Would you like to come inside? Marilla has left me all by myself, and I’m ever so proud of it. I have some hair dye you could try, if you’d like? Also, do you like raspberry cordial?