#karfax

[anastazi-art]

[kingcrazylibrary]

Welcome to Karfax

(This is a new short story, partially inspired by a conversation with a friend. It's a little humor with a lot of horror. Hope you enjoy)

WELCOME TO KARFAX

BY DONALD HALLENE III

(WITH HELP FROM KEVIN COURTEMANCHE)

I fucked up. I knew it. No inspector was ever sent to Karfax without having sufficiently fucked up. Karfax Hospital was a creepy old building sitting on top of a hill, framed by two large weeping willow trees. Driving up to it, I half expected to hear pipe organs playing. Of course, rumors had swelled around the office of what was inside the hospital, but I had never given them much credence. My job was to enter, inspect the hospital, and make sure the staff are treating the patients correctly. Not the hardest job in the world, I admit, but the things I had heard about Karfax had me nervous.

I was greeted at the door by the Head Nurse, who welcomed me with a warm smile. A good start, I thought.

“I am Nurse Elizabeth.” She said. “Welcome to Karfax. We pride ourselves on the care of our patients, so we welcome your inspection.”

“Then this should be painless.” I said to her. She nodded with a smile and led me on a tour. She showed me the facilities, the rooms where the patients stayed and where all their needs were met. A large kitchen, an even larger recreation room, it all seemed standard, which would not last long. Moments later, I found myself face to face with a large man, with the head of a bull, horns and all. He snorted as I walked past.

“Our patients are of a special nature as I am sure you can tell.” Nurse Elizabeth told me. “We take in the strange creatures of this world who have seen better days. Speechless, I see. That’s not a surprise, every inspector thus far has had a similar reaction.”

I just shook my head as another patient walked by, a man with one large eye in the center of his forehead. The brow above it furrowed as he glared back at me.

“Don’t like it. Nope. Don’t like staring peeps. Snatch out the offending eyes, says I.” he snarled.

“Now, George, you know better than to threaten our inspector.  Be nice.”

The Cyclops didn’t seem to care either way, so he shrugged and walked onward.

“As most of our patients are long term, we allow them to walk about in certain areas. This main hallway leads to the recreation and eating halls, so it’s easy for them to find their way there. Those who aren’t as mobile have assistance from the staff.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes at the sight of these odd creatures wandering around. I tried my best to remain calm and professional, but it was proving to be difficult. One who caught my gaze was an old woman carried a broom at her side, her skin a sickly green. She glanced up and sighed as she walked by.

“In me prime, I’d have turned him into a toad just for the indecency of glaring at an old woman.” She mumbled as she headed towards the recreation hall.

“That’s Ellie. You get used to her. Use of Magic is prohibited at all hours of the day for the safety of our other patients.” She said.

I shook my head then turned to the nurse. “As part of my inspection, they like me to chat with one of the patients to see how things are going for them personally.”

“But of course. We had anticipated that so we have prepared a patient for your discussion.” She said with a friendly smile.

“Actually, they like it to be my choice. To make sure the patient wasn’t forced to say anything. Its just protocol.”

“Most inspections have been fine with a pre-selected patient.” She said.

“I understand, but I tend to stick a little closer to the book than most of our other inspectors.” I added.  “And with the strange nature of this particular inspection, I’d like to keep it as by the book as I can.”

“I can respect that. Let’s find you a patient, shall we.” She said as she led him down the hallway and they poked their head into each of the rooms. Finally, one caught my eye. He was a large man, and he looked stitched together of bits of various corpses. Each section of the body was a light green or grey color, having lost all of it’s pigmentation. He seemed to be sleeping.

“Frank. You have a visitor.” She said. He looked up and shook his head at the sight of the nurse with me. He reached onto the table beside his bed and grabbed what looked like ears. He placed them where they should have been, and then looked up.

“What’s the deal, Ms. Elizabeth?” he asked. “I was getting some shuteye.”

“This is the local inspector sent to make sure we are treating you like darlings. He wants to chat for a few moments about the hospital and your stay here.”

“Alright, pull up a chair, sir.” He said as he sat up in his bed.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” The nurse said as she closed the door. I sat down and looked at the man, looking like something out of a strange medical journal. 

“Name’s Frank. Yours?”

“It’s Don.” I said with a hand extended. He shook his head in refusal.

“Well, Karfax is a lovely place to spend my waning years, I’ll say to you, if that’s what you’d like to hear. “

“I want to hear the truth, Frank. How is this place, are you treated well?” I asked.

“Karfax is a lovely place to spend my waning years.” He repeated, looking a bit grumpy that he had been forced to speak with me.

“Is that all you want to put on the record? If there is something wrong here, you can be the one to change it all. Just tell me” I said, hoping that if he was hiding a secret, he’d let me know.

He leaned over, looking me in the eye. “Karfax is a nightmare for the nightmares.” He said. “You want the truth? It’s hell. None of us are allowed to leave, even after our “treatment” is done. The nurses see themselves as guardians and protectors, but not of us. Of you, people on the outside, the normal ones.”

I hadn’t expected this, but began furiously scribbling on my notepad.

“I have been here for 15 years.  I came in for a quick patch up, but they refuse to let me out. I’ve given up mostly, although I do enjoy my little rebellions.” He said as he opened the drawer of the table next to him and pulled out a bottle of beer. He ripped the cap off with his hand and began to chug the beverage, some of it leaking out of the seams on his neck.

He offered me a bottle, but I declined as I simply watched him finish his. He let out a refreshed sigh as he put the bottle back in the drawer.

“That’s one pleasure those fucking nurses can’t take away. Poor Vlad, he used to be in this room with me, they cut off his well…you know.” He said.

“Really?” I gasped.

“Crazy, the lot of them. Sanctimonious whores if you ask me.” He said with a bit of a snort. “I wish I could just walk out the front door, taking swings at anyone who comes at me, but if I got caught, it’d be the Sleep Ward for me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Sleep Ward? I wasn’t shown any such ward on the tour?”

“You wouldn’t be. They keep that a secret. It’s the worst punishment one can receive from the nurses. Strapped onto a gurney, not allowed a wink of sleep for your entire stay. It’s a waking nightmare. Enough to drive a monster mad.”

He settled back in his bed and began to close his eyes.

“You want my suggestion? Put down good marks, then leave. They’ll send someone else next time and you’ll be done with this place. Trying to make any changes will just upset the nurses, especially Head Nurse Elizabeth. She’s quite fond of her power over us.”

“I…don’t know what to say.” I mumbled. “I’ve never heard of such abuses at any hospital. It’s…”

“Inhumane? Yeah, well, we ain’t human, so that don’t work so well for us.” He grunted as he took out his ears.

“Goodbye, Mr. Inspector.” He added as he nodded off to sleep.

I made my way out of the room, expecting Nurse Elizabeth to be standing there, but she was nowhere to be seen. I had to check out with her before leaving, but Frank’s statement had peaked my curiosity. As I looked down the hall, a pair of orderlies pushed a large barrel past me, a woman’s head sticking out of it as liquid sloshed around inside. It smelled strongly of vinegar.

“Let me go!” the woman shrieked as she thrashed around, trying to break free of the barrel’s bond on her. Looking closely, I would have said she was from Malaysia.

“Hush up, Penny.” One of the orderlies said as he poked the back of her head with a prod that produced a slight spark. “or it’s the sleep ward for you.”

Her head turned around 360 degrees, and she grinned, two large fangs framing the rest of her teeth. Her head began to rise upwards, and with it came a ghastly sight. Her innards were coming out of the hole as well; fleshy bags of organs and tubing that were shriveled from the vinegar. Lungs, a stomach, intestines, the whole collection were there. She floated above and the gnashed her teeth at the orderly who shocked her and flew towards him. It seemed as if she were set to tear him apart, but a much larger shock came from the other orderly. He hit her right in the stomach, which set her whole form convulsing, dropping to the floor. She squealed in pain as the orderlies lifted her head and placed it back in the vat.

“We’ll see what the nurses have to say about you.” One said as they continued to wheel her down the hall. I felt sick, and I ran to the nearest bathroom, and proceeded to deposit what little I had eaten for lunch in the nearest toilet.  Once I felt like I had evacuated the contents of my stomach thoroughly, I headed back out. Everything told me to leave, but I knew if I didn’t properly finish the inspection, I would be sent back, and I didn’t ever want to step foot in this place again.

I began to search for Elizabeth when I left the bathroom, and I went down hallway after hallway. Many of the orderlies told me they didn’t know where she had gone. I searched in the recreation hall, where Ellie the Witch flew around on her broom, looking broken-hearted as she circled. I moved to the dining hall where the George Cyclops sat eating his dinner, a slop of various meats, including eyes. I ran out into the halls, desperate to leave, the place getting to me more than I could have imagined.

I then saw it; a door marked “SLEEP” in big bold red letters. I hadn’t noticed it earlier on the tour, but now it was plain as day. I pushed the door opened and entered. I was afraid of what I might see, but perhaps I would find Elizabeth inside.

What I found were rows of gurneys, dozens of them, each with a creature strapped to them. Moaning could be heard from every corner of the room. I looked at the nearest creature, something that seemed to have been raised in a swamp. His head lay in a basin of water that his gills lapped up. He gave no sign that he was aware I was there, but then I saw his eyes. His eyelids had been stretched apart and stitched to his face, leaving them unable to blink. His eyes stared at the ceiling, darting around, looking for release from this torture.

Every creature was the same. Male and Female monsters all strapped down, eyelids sewn open, with no refuge from the waking hours of their life.

A slightly younger looking woman with scars similar to Frank grabbed my arm. She turned her head as best she could.

“Beware the Bloody Nurse.” She said with a hoarse whisper.

“A noble gesture, Elsa.” Said a voice from behind me. It was Elizabeth. “But in the end, a bit too late. Are you enjoying my work, Inspector?” she asked.

I turned around and felt my nostrils flare, a sign I was truly angry. “This is a travesty. You can’t do this to these poor people!”

“But they aren’t people, are they? No, and they are a danger, not only to society, but to themselves. They are old monsters, creatures who are no longer as feared or respected as they once were. We make sure they do no harm, either to others or themselves.”

“This is cruel.” I shouted, motioning to the rows of people with eyes held open.

“Is it? Or would it be cruel to send poor Elsa here to her doom at the hands of a torch or pitchfork, or whatever you people use these days.” She snapped.

I turned and headed for the door, furious at what I had seen and heard.

“Where are you going?” Elizabeth asked.

“To file my inspection. I’ll make sure they send you a copy.” I said, almost hissing.

“Your boss had said you were a troublesome one. I think he enjoys sending your kind to me. Karfax either shapes them up, or they decide to be noble, in which case…” she laughed as her jaw unhinged. It lowered to an inhuman degree as her rows of straight perfect teeth began to change. Each and every tooth began to sharpen and grow longer and thinner. Two rows of razor sharp white daggers grinning at me.

“I do miss the days of bloodletting. I was ever so good at it.” She said as she lunged at me. I tried to dodge, but I was too slow for her. I felt the sharp points of her teeth pierce my flesh, and then with a single chomp, I felt my jugular pop, the blood inside rushing outwards into her mouth and onto the floor. The pain I felt from her needle like teeth was disappearing as my life ebbed out of my neck. I saw her lick her lips before I blacked out.

When I awoke, I was in one of the hospital rooms, seemingly inside some sort of life support chamber. How had I survived, I wondered. She tore my throat out. I reached up to feel my throat and saw my hand. It was see through. I could look right throw to the end of the room. I was transparent. A check of the rest of my body informed me of the same thing. I hadn’t survived. I was a ghost. I tried to break free of the glass chamber surrounding me, but it seemed like it was meant to keep me right on the bed, where they wanted.

I saw Nurse Elizabeth walk in, her smile returned to normal. She leaned next to the bed and smiled as she pressed a button allowing me to hear her voice from the outside.

“Welcome to Karfax.” She said with a smile. “We do hope you enjoy your stay.”

[alexsorriso]