#karikole

[littlepoeticnegus]

I like this look a lot.

[littlepoeticnegus]

Stop Freaking Out Because of your Past...

when you’re sad and feeling like you’re not really sad, but you’re just waiting on that amazing thing to go ahead and happen. you’re really waiting with the wrong kind of spirit. the way that you should wait, should not only be in patience and excellence but with assurance and sure sure sure faith that what you’re looking forward to WILL happen. this is actually what we call hope. you’re hope depends on how you expect things to turn out. you’re hope is never really about you personally. your hope depends on the faith that you have involved in someone else or that situation. asking yourself to have hope in someone may sound kinda backwards from what we’re normally taught but then again, when has anything we’ve been “taught” first or the normal way ever been the correct way for this present time? anyways, having hope in someone is saying that I truly trust you even in the middle of this. its trusting in the person that you know they will be, not in who they are now, or in who they used to be, because that person old is gone. you have enough confidence and faith in God hearing your prayers, seeing your petitions, and all of your hard work to know that what we hope for will actually happen, no matter what is in our current view in the moment. 

this is why I believe that it is important for us to relieve and get rid of disappointments from people and things they have failed at in the past because it will shape how we have hope or trust in them, in the future when its time to need them. your past mistakes do not define you, we hear this all the time but it is truth, rather deep truth. when we have a hard time trusting and relying on people in a healthy way, it’s because we have some part of disappointment lying inside of us that we did not fully handle, like we thought we did. its important to let this go because it’s stopping us from seeing how the person or the situation will be now that time has gone on, now that God has had the person or situation in process. we can let go of the uncomfortable feeling of knowing that we will be let down. knowing that they will not come thru for us if and when ish hits the fan. knowing that this situation didn’t work last time so I secretly have a fear that it will be the same this time, because this is what i’m used to getting out of this situation or person. well I’d like you to know that is what insanity looks like. the same thing, same pattern, same outcome. insanity is what the enemy tries to make you think you are encountering, and that it will never fully be right. or that the pattern will be broken. well, if there has been multiple points proven of change blowing in the winds, some pattern, some cycle has to be broken, correct? meaning that the insanity trap, is just an illusion from what you think you know is going on in this moment. all growth demands change. its like Newton’s 1st law of motion, whatever is in motion stays in motion until acted upon by an outside force. the outside force would be growth that brings change, that bring solid hope. 

so let go of the secret disappointment. the hope that brings change is here. your faith will not fail you, it will always allow you to win in the end. The Hope That Brings Change.  

Stop Freaking Out Because of your Past x @littlepoeticnegus

[littlepoeticnegus]

I’m starting to realize that I am surrounded by people who are infatuated with a broken idea of what love really is. Love should not be something that makes your heart ache and you cannot function without them being near you. I don’t want that kind of love. That’s a prison. I want a love that’s free, I don’t want a dictator kind of love.

You Can Quote me on This One x KariKole @littlepoeticnegus

[littlepoeticnegus]

Yup. I miss you. I've stopped trying to fight it and tell myself not to miss you and that I shouldn't and that I can't, but reality is always louder than the lies I tell myself. So yes, I miss you.

The truth x KariKole

[littlepoeticnegus]

While I’m Listening to While We’re Young...

so really like, i’m in a space of awe kind of, of the woman i’m becoming. from who i am now, to who i was on this day last year, is such a transformation that’s made me more grateful for how i handle every day that i’m given. because one, someone didn’t have this opportunity to grow into the person they are supposed to be right now in this moment and time. i love God so much for directing me on this pathway. directing me to who i am right in this moment as i’m typing these words. im thankful. i’m thankful for the days that broke me. i’m thankful for the moments that i ached in my heart, those moments were more than 3. for the nights that my head literally was pounding from overthinking, and anxiety. those nights were the nights that added the most force to create something that cannot be fabricated without a trial. that force is the force that helped me become. by no means am i done growing into the woman that God has for me to be, but right now, right now is a time to celebrate who i have became. it’s the time to recognize my own growth. today i stand open. today i stand proud of my flaws as i am still learning to love every dark spot on my face, every springy curl on my head, every hair on my arm, the way i have to push my glasses up on my face every 5 minutes, how sometimes i stammer when i get too excited or try talking too fast, the passions i have and the passions i don’t have. the way i still love him but in a way that is healthy for the both of us. the fact that i cannot change the overly caring and depth of my love for those who are in my heart, who have made an everlasting imprint on my soul. I am here for it all. i am embracing it all in this moment because it is who i am. everyday my mind is being renewed my focus is being sharpened and slicked to only things that matter to me, for me. for my growth. learning that it is very okay to not have anything to say around people who always have something to say. learning to listen not only with my ears but with my spirit. trusting my spirit. trusting that my spirit is never going to lie or direct me in a pathway of trouble because i know who i am connected to. i know that my spirit cannot survive on its own and that it must be nurtured and fed things to edify and keep it strong. whether it be removing myself from toxic environments or toxic people, all toxicity has to go. it cannot reside in this clean vessel, only true and pure and lovely and admirable and peaceful and honest things can dwell in me. if there is anything in contrast to that it must be expelled by the One who has all the power to redeem my soul again and again. all selfish motives, things that gratify myself and are not for unifying humanity, all things with underlying motives and destructive thought processes behind and embedded in them must be completely destroyed. only beautiful things are meant to come from me, that’s what will be. I have been transformed by Light, by the Son, by drinking from the Living Water. this walk is not for me. realizing that makes me deal with my life in a different perspective. i cannot be selfish. this walk is for those who need my pain more than i do. I have been put on a process to see who I am. to remove the debris that’s fallen from the things that had to be shaken up to rebuild, and see what was under that. to set a foundation, that’s sure and steady, unshakable, under all that’s been dismantled, is me. someone who not only survived but overcame every stage of the process that i have walked through thus far. I love who i am, who i became. i love who i am becoming and i am thankful for who i used to be. because without her being in existence at one point in time, the future me would never be found. the “I am” now would not be here typing to you encouraging you to keep going. so on this day i am thankful, i am thankful for all i have reached and i am currently reaching, and more thankful and honored to serve those who i have yet to touch when i reach my next self. i am forever grateful. 

@littlepoeticnegus @prttywaves

[littlepoeticnegus]

Did my hair. Gotta clean up, I had to get a pic first.

[littlepoeticnegus]

It's absolutely puzzling to me how someone can speak on you and "the type of person you are" when they don't even talk to you. They're not involved in any part of your life and all the knowledge they have is actually very inaccurate. It's inaccurate because they're speaking of a version of you that doesn't exist anymore. They haven't been introduced to the newest version of you. (Meaning, they haven't spent time with you, or been around you.) I'll speak for myself, people who were close to me in December, that aren't in my life now, have no business speaking on WHO I AM NOW based on what they KNEW about me. That Na'Kole no longer exists. So with that being said, do not worry about the inaccuracies that are spoken out of who you USED TO BE. You are a work in progress, you are a new creation, release the old and welcome the new. The transformation of a butterfly is real. You don't have to accept or be comfortable with the change, but it WILL be acknowledged.

The Butterfly Affect x KariKole

[littlepoeticnegus]

It's so much I wanna write about the disoriented idea of relationships that we are oh so infatuated with

Like y'all. I get a bad feeling every time I see someone talking about being attached or overly obsessed with their partner. You think you love them but the love you have is tainted. It's unhealthy. I wanna try to open people's eyes to what healthy love is. At least to what I'm learning. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Love shouldn't be obsessive y'all.