im so incredibly tired. can i just be put down so i dont have to worry about being a burden ever again. thankssssss <3

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im so incredibly tired. can i just be put down so i dont have to worry about being a burden ever again. thankssssss <3
"Just fucking yell at me." Okay buddy let's calm down.
every time i realize we dont have something i want for dinner i feel a little dread now because without fail it pisses my mom off and it makes me just regret having preferences at all.
there's a part of my brain connnnnstantly dedicating energy to "I want to hurt them I want to make them upset I want to be the bad guy" . does anyone know how to shut that shit down.
I wanna get out of bed I wanna get out of beeeeedddd. <- can feel The Rot taking hold of it
god i know ill feel better when its over but im like a whole 24 hours away from it happening and yet im scared to death about quitting. not the worst stress of my life but oh my god does it suck regardless.
i need to get lobotomized
i need the lady here to leave im threatening to have a breakdown at work right now. kdjdnngnvnvngnng