you're definitely doing the right thing. even though Evans going to hold a special place in your heart for awhile, there's no point waiting around for someone who isn't ready. it sounds like Peter could be a really awesome guy-- I'm so excited for you!! let me know how the date goes!!!
The date went really well! He is the kindest, most genuine guy I’ve met in awhile. Someone who connects with me about music and books and movies. Just so many things. We never ran out of anything to talk about. It was light and carefree. So what did we do, you ask?
He picked me up and off to the subways we went. He learned about me and I him. Our interests, our likes and passions. Little things, simple things. The ease of talking with someone new!
A subway transfer later we made it into NYC. Food first, of course, because we were starving. A delightful lunch at the Green Cafe. We were always talking, about the little things we like and other interests. Then off to the Guggenheim Museum we went, and although half of it was closed for new installations being made, there was still some lovely paintings and exhibits to see.
When we had done that, arm and arm we walked down Central Park East, down to The Met and all it’s wondrous art too. We loved the Egyptian exhibits. The Temple of Dendur!!! OOo Charles Engelhard Court is beautiful too! We walked around it all. The statues corridor. And we also got lost…
The cutest part: (I had to look up the name of where we were then, just now haha) Mastaba Tomb of Perneb. It’s got this small little space you walk into. Pretty much only 5 people could stand in there at a time. So it’s Peter and me. There’s just something so telling of the look you share with a person, and you just know. That’s when we kissed. It was simple yet something, something worthwhile. Loved where it happened too! ;)
Overall the date was simplistic and fun. Pressureless. There were times it felt like it was just two friends getting to know each other and hanging out. I think that’s how I see it. A strange new perspective. Peter was perfect.
It’s funny to think about how this all came about. In under the time span of a month I went from never been kissed to having been kissed by two guys, both wonderful, and funnier that they’re best friends. But in no way am I getting in between that. It was drama free. You just sometimes meet someone you hit it off well with. This Peter knew he wanted to give it a try with me. And I admire him because of it. Evan wasn’t anywhere near wanting to try with me, so he stepped aside. He didn’t get in the way of a “maybe.”
In some way, retrospectively I sense a tinge of uneasiness, that this whole thing was a little shady. But there’s no reason for me to feel this way, I know that. Yet I’m not the kind of girl who would do this, the whole best friend switch. A few months ago I didn’t really even have a guy on my mind. And here I am, with something… how quickly the tables have turned.
Will there be something, another date, with me and Peter? Maybe. It’s all just a casual thing. I’m at a loss when I remember he’s Evan’s best friend. My chapter with Evan has closed, but deep down I feel sad that it was a chapter never fully written…
It was a chapter that ended without a period. Evan and I were like a comma instead. Something closed, but a pause and an uncertainty of what to come. I wanted to be his something, his anything, but he didn’t even give me that.
So we move one, both of us. I hope he’ll look back one day and see what he let slip away. I will turn to a new person, Peter, hoping for something worthy, something better, something worthwhile. I hope Peter may be just what I’ve been looking for, what I deserve after all this time. I want something… but I still don’t know what.
It’s all just a confusing little perfect possibility.
