Imagine, if you will...
You're suddenly blindfolded. You're not in an immediate panic because this happens occasionally and while you're not thrilled about it, you've resigned yourself to the fact that it can and will happen with or without warning.
While blindfolded and completely unable to see, you're taken to an amusement park. You know it's an amusement park because you hear people and music and... rollercoasters. And it's upon one of these rollercoasters that you are unceremoniously plopped down and strapped in. You can't hear anyone else on the ride with you and you're still blindfolded so you can't see a thing.
The rollercoaster starts and you don't know what's coming. An uphill, a spiral, a sharp turn... you have absolutely no idea what's going to happen. Now, logically, you know you've survived these circumstances before, most of the time a rollercoaster isn't going to kill you, but you don't know when or where or how another twist, turn, or loop is coming. Add on top of that, there's a voice in your mind reminding you that accidents can and do happen on rollercoasters, so as safe as you can 'best case scenario' yourself, the worst can happen and you'll never really see it coming.
That's how my emotional and mental state has been recently. My brain has plopped me blindfolded on an unfamiliar rollercoaster and I just want off this fucking ride.
