i just want to get a few things off my chest, so here it is! no need to read it.
Sadia (kaurae), a friend i was just getting to know better, recently deactivated her account while i wasn't paying attention. and i just feel like a terrible friend. Sadia, if you're ever reading this, i just want to say sorry for not being a better friend and that i wish you the best of luck with college and life in general. i hope we speak soon again!
also, i've finally come to terms with the fact that people don't really care all that much about me. and that's okay. i just need to back off and be cool. so, this is my way of somewhat letting go, not being the clingy, attached person who makes people feel annoyed, bothered, and uncomfortable. of course, i'll always be here and there or wherever you need me to be when you are in need of help. i just don't want to be the only one trying to hang onto relationships. i know that i haven't fully invested myself into these relationships either. i'm not blaming anybody or trying to make anybody feel bad. i'm just trying to help myself be happier and not upset by the fact that people don't like me as much as i like them. if you attempt to be friends with me, then i will reciprocate those feelings unless you're a terrible person erp. i really care about all of you guys so much. this is not me giving up on anybody. i just won't be going to crazy lengths to try to get your attention and to be my friend. every person is my friend really, until you do something to make me not like you aha. but nobody's done that yet so we're all good.
i think last note? i'm back at school so i won't have as much time to keep this blog running at all times. i'll try to set up the queue as often as i can! also i'm giving up on trying to balance Jongin/Kyungsoo posts because it's impossible since the people i follow either blast Jongin or blast Kyungsoo, so my likes folder has a row of Jongin posts and then a row of Kyungsoo posts. i just don't have the time to try to balance out the posts (as much as i enjoy having the blog that way). sorry if that bothers you! let me know if it does. i'll see what i can do.
thanks for reading this if you did! i'm amazed you got this far and you deserve a hug because that means you actually care about me and i need someone who kind of pays attention to me because i'm lonely ; v ; please message me and i will adore you as you deserve to be adored. have an amazing week, you nugget.
