#kayla problems

[romeo-oh-nomeo]

me: if you need me I'll be on the second floor of the library

plumber: ok

[a little while later]

plumber: *walking around, on the phone* she says she's on the second floor but I don't see her anywhere

me: [sitting out in the open] ☹ I'm right here

plumber: *jUMPS* *looking around* 😰 wHERE

me: *waving* helloooo😫oo

plumber: oh jesus fucking christ you blend right in I thought you were a tiny statue holy shit

me: ☹ can I help you or did you just come down here to insult me

[fightmeson]

first week of work at my new job went so well! i’m loving working there. i’m also car shopping so that’s been interesting and a hassle. i’m such a bad driver and lack so much confidence - guess i’ll just start faking it until i make it (or wreck it). i’m trying though so that has to count for something. 

[romeo-oh-nomeo]

The fire department came to my building last night to investigate a fire and this old neighbor came out to grumble about all the new people moving to this building reporting cooking smoke as fires and now I’m awaiting his blog post “Millenials Are Ruining The Arson Industry”

[romeo-oh-nomeo]

someone's been texting the wrong number at my work phone with an invite to parties and then over the weekend texted my work phone to say there's been a death in the family so being the awkward bean I am I replied "Hi, FYI this isn't Kendra-- I believe you have the wrong number. But I offer my condolences"

[romeo-oh-nomeo]

Me: two tickets to How to Train Your Dragon please

Ticket Selling Person: two.... adult tickets?

Me: yES 😫

[romeo-oh-nomeo]

construction supervisor: did you know you weigh as much as a roll of roofing material

me: wow and since I'm exactly 5'0, that means you never need a scale or a ruler when I'm around

construction worker: *carries off roll of roofing material*

construction supervisor: there goes one kayla

[romeo-oh-nomeo]

‪[in a loud bar]‬

‪Mom: what are you talking about‬

‪Me: *fingerspelling* M-S-G‬

‪Mom: who’s Ms. G?‬

‪Me: no no *fingerspelling* M-S-G‬

‪Mom: “mzzzzzzguh?”‬

‪Dad: *speaks* Madison square garden‬

‪Mom: ohhh‬

‪Me: why do I bother‬

[romeo-oh-nomeo]

totally did NOT start off my work week finding out that my pants are made out of fabric with insufficient friction to keep me on a plastic bus seat when it stops short. And definitely was NOT the only person on the bus to completely shoot forward out of my seat and go flying through half the bus before i managed to catch myself on a pole and return with whatever was left of my dignity to my seat