Omg I'm so happy I got tagged!! I loooved reading alone together it was so incredibly validating c: Do you have anything about mirasif religion spat?
aww i'm glad to hear that!!!
i kinda wrote out the crux of the idea in this post, and i don't have an actual snippet of writing, but to elaborate a little more...
even post-feelings buddies talk, Siffrin still hasn't REALLY allowed himself to harbor genuine negative feelings about/towards Mirabelle. and i don't think that would be fixed right away!! it would get a tiny bit better in some very small ways maybe as they talk more, but the Really Big Things are too much, too dark and ugly and awful to aim towards her of all people. it's not even really a conscious thing, it's just How It Is. and that relates to a lot of things, but i think religion would have to be the breaking point. Mirabelle's sidequest is about her being wholly embraced and supported and adored by her god while Siffrin watches, and then that god turns around and flagrantly mocks his god's silence and delights in his suffering. her friendquest is about her aroace identity, yes, but it's also about how that identity interacts with the pressures of her religion, the beliefs and values she's trying to uphold, the things it deems worthy of celebration. and she asks if Siffrin has anything like that, and they barely give her an answer at all. he barely lets himself think about it, except to finally scorn his own inability to have a connection to his beliefs, his own lack of agency. it's not about her. it's never about her.
but isn't she lucky, to be able to explore her connection to her faith in this way? to challenge it, to reconcile with it and renew her love for it again even after it's hurt her so much? isn't it just so wonderful that even her god themself adores her? that she gets to live and breathe its beliefs, eagerly share the meaning of its symbols and rituals? how good for her that she can talk and talk about Change and everyone will listen and take her knowledge and insights seriously! great!!! it's so good!!!!! it's so cool that she loves a god that thought it was SO FUN AND QUIRKY to watch them die over and over again!!!
and then this person who is so deeply immersed in her faith will turn around and laugh and wave off anything that Siffrin says about his own beliefs--whatever sparse scraps of knowledge he's been allowed to keep. her faith is sooooooo special and important but theirs is weird, offputting, a joke. but why should anyone take it seriously, right?? it's not like Siffrin could ever again know their own religion as deeply as Mirabelle knows hers!
so i think they learned from the loops to not really share anything about the stars or their faith. maybe a tiny bit with Isabeau, the only one who expressed real interest (the one who can't be trusted to defend them when it counts), but not when anyone else could overhear.
i'm picturing this roiling, suppressed storm of grating jealousy and resentment that builds more and more as Mirabelle so openly interacts with her faith, both in criticism and celebration of it, being able to engage with a community and discussion of its nuances in ways that he'll never be able to. unable to even talk about what little he has left of it. what it means to him. how it's hurt them and guided them.
i'm picturing a moment where Siffrin is so, so tired of being unable to share this piece of their culture, but Mirabelle asks a casual question about what they're looking at or thinking about and maybe it'll be different this time, maybe they've shared enough, connected enough that she'll understand what their answer means.
she doesn't. and that's too much to bear.