Sometimes, she dreams. She dreams and she is still running, but it feels different. Like she did when she was a little kid, maybe. On all fours, calling to the sky that she is the fastest, faster than anyone else, and she knows she is leaving everyone in the dust.
Those dreams make her somber when she wakes. Leave her drained and yearning for. Something. She doesn't know what. She just... lies in bed. Stares at her hands, opens and closes them. They always feel more like they don't belong after those dreams. Like she ought to have something else instead.
She tries not to dwell on the dreams, especially not when the important races get on or she cheers for McQueen, but they haunt her. With every race she runs she wakes with the smell of hay in her nose and the thunder of hooves in her ears. They make her wonder. Wonder and dream.
She isn't too good of an artist. But sometimes she doodles after her dreams. What she draws isn't any kind of animal that exists on earth. The ears and tails of umas, less colorful. Bodies large like barrels, elegant legs that taper into hooves almost like an ungulates, just fused. Heads on long yet proportional necks, with manes that stream over them. She doesn't know what she is drawing. She just knows it makes her yearn to run like she did as a toddler. On all fours, head held high, ears pinned back, hair and tail streaming behind her as she leaves the competition in the dust.
Vandermatthews snippet from a fic i hopefully will finish sometime this decade
Warning for... I suppose somewhat toxic relationships?
It's Hosea, not Dutch, that tells the men to stop searching for John. The boy wants to be out on his own? Fine. He'd come crawling back sooner rather than later. He raised the boy. A boy is all he'd ever be to Hosea. His boy who is stupid beyond all reason.
"We can't leave him out there, Hosea!" Hosea doesn't look up from his book at Dutch's voice. "We can't leave him on his own!"
"We can." Hosea turns a page. "And we should." He focuses on the lines on the pulpy paper. "What use is it to drag him back, Dutch? He would just run again. Suffer not the man who wishes not to stay."
"He's our son!" Dutch takes a heaving breath, not unlike a bull. "Bessie would be disappointed in you."
"Keep her name out of your mouth, Dutch van der Linde," Hosea says quietly, closing the book. "Bessie did not suffer fools lightly. And that is what John is right now. A fool." He languidly reaches for his revolver, opens the magazine. spins it. A single bullet inside, hidden when he shuts the cylinder and sets it to spin again. He chortles low. "A fool who we suffer not. Let him wander, Dutch. He will come back. Wiser, maybe. Humbled, certainly." He taps the gun against the table as he stands up, then steps closer to Dutch. Presses the muzzle against the other's soft stomach. He feels Dutch's breath hitch, sees his pupils widen. "Don't mention Bessie again. Not like that." He lets it linger.
And then he leaves, revolver back in its holster and his voice whistling as if he had not just done the unspeakable. Dutch doesn't retaliate. He never does.
There is a specific kind of silence that settles into an apartment around nine in the evening. The commute is over, the dishes are done, and the day has nothing left to ask of you. For a growing number of people, that hour is no longer empty. It is increasingly being filled by an AI companion that learns your name, your moods, and the small running jokes that accumulate between two people over weeks.
What makes SweetDream stand out in this space is how little it feels like software. The platform, found at sweetdream.ai, lets you build a character from the ground up: appearance, personality, the texture of their voice, even a backstory and the odd quirk that makes them feel particular rather than generic. The chat itself is the surprise, though. It remembers what you told it on Tuesday and brings it up on Friday, the way a real person would.
Plenty of services promise an AI girlfriend. Candy.ai and ourdream.ai both have their followings. But what people seem to return to SweetDream for is the sense of continuity, paired with voice messages and phone calls that actually sound human on the other end. It does not fix loneliness, exactly. It just makes the quiet hour feel less like a void and more like company.
There are no male Umas. They are called Uma Musume for a reason. There was no Uma Shonen. Couldn't be. No one quite knew why, but that is how it always was. Only ever girls. Girls that became women and had daughters. If there was a son, he was human.
She was an Uma Musume. And thus, she was a girl. Easy as that. No matter that the idea made her feel like the time she ate too much cake and nearly hurled it all up again. No matter that the first time she heard about puberty and that she would be bleeding and growing breasts the only thought blaring in her head was a loud, loud WRONG. That it all felt so wrong. The skirts. The purses. The gentle, soft movements. The way her voice was a sweet, gentle thing. The high heels were the least of her worries, something about standing on her toes feeling more right than anything else.
But she was a daughter of the Mejiro family. And as eldest, she had to carry her cross. Show the world that dignity did not perish in her house, and that she followed the duty it brought. She would bear it. This cross. Straight back, eyes in a gentle look, small smile on her lips, skirt pleated perfectly, hair brushed and long. She had to be perfect. She had to be. To make up for it. To make up for being herself.
She stopped eating as much. She had to be perfect. Hold the perfect weight. No sweets. She didn't need them. Didn't deserve them. Not eating as much meant that infernal bleeding came less. Meant her chest stopped becoming heavier. She did not grow much these days. She still ate. Just enough to not pull attention. Just enough to come across as having lost the genetic lottery. A shame, she hears the doctors murmur. A shame the current Mejiro was like her. Small. Frail. Physically average, for an Uma Musume. It makes her teeth ache like she threw up.
She watches the other Uma Musume run. They don't act like she does. They run. They revel in the frills and the dresses, the glory of it all. She doesn't know why she is the way she is. But it makes her feel sick.
She has an idea what might be going on when Gold Ship calls her Gramps once. It is jest. Has to be. Gold Ship is strange, but even she knows that McQueen is a girl. Has to. But that word makes her heart race like nothing else. It doesn't make her feel sick to her stomach. It makes her happy. And it shouldn't. Couldn't. Uma Musume weren't male. They weren't boys. She was Mejiro McQueen. She was a girl. She had to be. She can't be different. She had a duty. And so she swallows past the flutter in her heart and rebuffs Gold Ship. Rebuffs her and tries to stop thinking about the shears in her bathroom cabinet, about how nice it would be to have short hair. To be called a boy. There are no Uma Shounen. Only Uma Musume.
So. I assume people saw some posts going around on how valve has new AI rules, and things getting axed. And because we live in a society, I went down the rabbit hole to learn my information for myself. Here's what I found, under a cut to keep it easier. To start off, I am not a proponent of AI. I just don't like misinformation. So. Onwards.
VALVE AND THE AI
First off, no, AI will not take things over. Let me show you, supplemented by the official valve news post from here. (because if hbomberguy taught us anything it is to cite your sources)
[Image id: a screenshot from the official valve blog. It says the following:
First, we are updating the Content Survey that developers fill out when submitting to Steam. The survey now includes a new AI disclosure section, where you'll need to describe how you are using AI in the development and execution of your game. It separates AI usage in games into two broad categories:
Pre-Generated: Any kind of content (art/code/sound/etc) created with the help of AI tools during development. Under the Steam Distribution Agreement, you promise Valve that your game will not include illegal or infringing content, and that your game will be consistent with your marketing materials. In our pre-release review, we will evaluate the output of AI generated content in your game the same way we evaluate all non-AI content - including a check that your game meets those promises.
Live-Generated: Any kind of content created with the help of AI tools while the game is running. In addition to following the same rules as Pre-Generated AI content, this comes with an additional requirement: in the Content Survey, you'll need to tell us what kind of guardrails you're putting on your AI to ensure it's not generating illegal content. End image ID]
So. Let us break that down a bit, shall we? Valve has been workshopping these new AI rules since last June, and had adopted a wait and see approach beforehand. This had cost them a bit of revenue, which is not ideal if you are a company.
Now they have settled on a set of rules. Rules that are relatively easy to understand.
- Rule one: Game devs have to disclose when their game has AI
- Rule two: If your game uses AI, you have to say what kind it uses. Did you generate the assets ahead of time, and they stay like that? Or are they actively generated as the consumer plays?
- Rule three: You need to tell Valve the guardrails you have to make sure your live-generating AI doesn't do things that are going against the law.
- Rule four: If you use pre-generated assets, then your assets cannot violate copyright. Valve will check to make sure that you aren't actually lying.
That doesn't sound too bad now, does it? This is a way Valve can keep going. Because they will need to. And ignoring AI is, as much as we all hate it, not going to work. They need to face it. And they did. So. Onto part two, shall we?
[Image ID: a screenshot from the official Valve blog. It says the following:
Valve will use this disclosure in our review of your game prior to release. We will also include much of your disclosure on the Steam store page for your game, so customers can also understand how the game uses AI. End image ID]
Let's break that down.
- Valve will show you if games use AI. Because they want you to know that. Because that is transparency.
Part three.
[Image ID: A screenshot from the official Valve blog. It says the following:
Second, we're releasing a new system on Steam that allows players to report illegal content inside games that contain Live-Generated AI content. Using the in-game overlay, players can easily submit a report when they encounter content that they believe should have been caught by appropriate guardrails on AI generation.
Today's changes are the result of us improving our understanding of the landscape and risks in this space, as well as talking to game developers using AI, and those building AI tools. This will allow us to be much more open to releasing games using AI technology on Steam. The only exception to this will be Adult Only Sexual Content that is created with Live-Generated AI - we are unable to release that type of content right now. End Image ID]
Now onto the chunks.
Valve is releasing a new system that makes it easier to report questionable AI content. Specifically live-generated AI content. You can easily access it by steam overlay, and it will be an easier way to report than it has been so far.
Valve is prohibiting NSFW content with live-generating AI. Meaning there won't be AI generated porn, and AI companions for NSWF content are not allowed.
That doesn't sound bad, does it? They made some rules so they can get revenue so they can keep their service going, while also making it obvious for people when AI is used. Alright? Alright. Now calm down. Get yourself a drink.
---
Team Fortress Source 2
My used source here is this.
There was in fact a DCMA takedown notice. But it is not the only thing that led to the takedown. To sum things up: There were issues with the engine, and large parts of the code became unusable. The dev team decided that the notice was merely the final nail in the coffin, and decided to take it down. So that is that. I don't know more on this, so I will not say more, because I don't want to spread misinformation and speculation. I want to keep some credibility, please and thanks.
---
Portal Demake axed
Sources used are from here, here and here.
Portal 64 got axed. Why? Because it has to do with Nintendo. The remake uses a Nintendo library. And one that got extensively pirated at that. And we all know how trigger-happy Nintendo is with it's intellectual property. And Nintendo is not exactly happy with Valve and Steam, and sent them a letter in 2023.
[Image ID: a screenshot from a PC-Gamer article. It says the following:
It's possible that Valve's preemptive strike against Portal 64 was prompted at least in part by an encounter with Nintendo in 2023 over the planned release of the Dolphin emulator for the Wii and Gamecube consoles on Steam. Nintendo sent a letter to Valve ahead of that launch that attorney Kellen Voyer of Voyer Law said was a "warning shot" against releasing it. End Image ID.]
So. Yeah. Nintendo doesn't like people doing things with their IP. Valve is most likely avoiding potential lawsuits, both for themselves and Lambert, the dev behind Portal 64. Nintendo is an enemy one doesn't want to have. Valve is walking the "better safe than sorry" path here.
---
There we go. This is my "let's try and clear up some misinformation" post. I am now going to play a game, because this took the better part of an hour. I cited my sources. Auf Wiedersehen.
I mentioned it in the notes of a post of @americaninferno earlier today, but I had a bit of inspiration interpreting the song "That Unwanted Animal" by The Amazing Devil for the Vandermatthews ship. Under a cut, because this is liable to get long. I fully admit I am copying this from the discord chat it spawned in, and only minimally edited it. Enjoy!
[Verse 1: Madeleine Hyland]
There's a second wind coming
As we lie here in our bed
It rattles the bones of our fathers
Carries whispers from the dead
And you, you light a candle
And I make sure the bairns are fed
You turn the telly on
To drown out your fear
You make the bed up silent on the floor
So no one will hear us
You try so loud to love me
I cannot seem to hear
Something something "gang can stand in for the bairns here" and "no one can know, they cannot be heard, it's dangerous to be queer" and Hosea trying so loudly to love dutch and him just... not hearing it. too caught up in it all.
[Verse 2: Madeleine Hyland & Joey Batey]
'Cause you, you touch ('Cause you, you touch)
My skin peels off like paint (My pain)
But beneath all of our panting (All our)
There's this noise I cannot shake (Panting shame)
Can't you hear that scratching?
There's something at the door
But the wind has picked us up now
We're hanging in the air
And as you grip me like an animal
That you're about to spear
"Be good to me," I whisper
And you say, "What?"
And I said, "Nothing, dear"
the noise in this could honestly be a stand in for the coming doom. they're such a messy pair, and oh, they probably know that. first thing i sent feels more like it's from dutch's perspective, but this feels more like something from hosea's...
[Chorus: Madeleine Hyland]
Can't you hear it?
It can hear you
It wants me to
Throw the plate at the wall
all that frustration building, all those fights they have in and at camp.
[Verse 3: Madeleine Hyland]
I'm the paper cut that kills you
I'm the priest that you ignored
I'm the touch you crave, I'm the plans that you made
But fuck all your plans I'm bored
And can't you hear that scratching?
I ask your eyes
I've got knuckle burn from typing all these lines into your chest
And as the belt from your buckle is tightening I make shipwrecks out of my dress
And the door below it splinters
And the creature creeps inside
and continuing that, Hosea being so fucking angry at dutch. at all the plans, at it all going wrong, dutch not seeing and hearing the signs and portents, ignoring the writing on the wall and the anger of his friend and partner. quite possibly Micah as the "creature" here, creeping in and sowing havoc.
[Verse 4: Madeleine Hyland & both]
And we fall into each other
The scratching grows so loud
Because that unwanted animal
Wants nothing more than to get out
And I scream, "What’s the time Mr Wolf?"
But you, you're blind, you bleat, you bare your claws
And you rip my ribcage open
And devour what's truly yours
And our screaming joins in unison
I cry out to the lord
'Cause if we join our hands in prayer enough
To God I imagine it all starts to sound like applause
they're both like that though. Hosea craves all this robbing, this havoc, the power as much as Dutch. He's an enabler. They're both at fault, both suck at communicating in a way, but Dutch more so than hosea. A man who thinks himself as part of the "sheep" when he's actually dangerous. a possessive man who gorges himself on his fellows because it's what passes for love for him because he didn't learn otherwise, not really. But, and that is important, Hosea still loves him for that. craves it, really. he came crawling back after trying to be away for a year after all
[Chorus: Madeleine Hyland & Joey Batey]
Can't you hear it?
It can hear you
It wants me to…
again that scream to listen, of course going unheard by dutch.
[Bridge: Madeleine Hyland & Joey Batey]
And these plates they smash like waves(Place your hand in mine)
And on the wind it howls (How long can this last?)
But that second wind is coming, love, it's coming for all we own
And on the creature scratches, it doesn't know how to get out (Let me out)
And you, you follow philosophies
But me, I laugh I choke
"Well hello, my hollow Holofernes"
I wink but you don't get the joke
"Hold the hand of the god-child," they said
"As he falls from the sky"
"Be good to me," I beg of him
"Be good to me," I beg of him
Be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, be good
And he replies
("No no, not I")
and that's how we reach this end. Bellowing warnings that go ignored on account of wilful ignorance. Dutch keeping to his philosophizing and becoming someone who tries to enforce hollow faith, and Hosea who is somewhat Jewish coded pulling a connection to the man who invaded Jewish settlements to force worship feels poignant. Dutch not getting it because it isn't really Relevant to him. the "god-child" and the Icarian symbolism of someone who flew too close to the sun fitting so much more. He did fly too close to the sun, and now they're all plummeting down, down, down. And Hosea trying to make him see again, only for him to drop it all in the end anyways, said and done only after Hosea is gone for good.
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Charles Smith, Taima the Horse & Charles Smith
Characters: Taima the Horse (Red Dead Redemption), Charles Smith (Red Dead Redemption), Arthur Morgan, Arthur Morgan's Horse, Van der Linde Gang Members (Red Dead Redemption)
Additional Tags: Character Study, POV Animal, Fix-It of Sorts, Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Charles Smith Loves Arthur Morgan, they are gay your honor and the horses know, taima is an older horse now, she is chill
Series: Part 12 of Thoughts from the stables
Summary:
Taima has been with Charles for nearly fourteen years. He is hers, she is his.
Gilbert keeps track of the Hunter. They're an odd duck. Talkative, but not quite, eager for companionship and solace. He can understand that. Yharnam hates its outsiders. They have to stay together, keep each other going. Maybe that is why he lies to them when the hours grow dim. When his legs creak and splinter in his skin, and his muscles tremble, when hair turns to fur, he leans against the window and hides it. Lies with the silver tongue hid mother always lauded, lies with the words his father always said would make him a fine clergyman if he put his mind to it.
"Ah, you needn't concern yourself with me." Rattling coughs escape his throat even as his chest twists and barrels.
"I'm afraid I'm of little help now... But before I..." He nearly slips.
"Take this." The flamesprayer he traded from a former Powder Keg who wanted nothing to do with the hunt anymore. He needed to make sure the lovely Hunter could remain safe. Outsider for outsider.
"I made no use of it, but perhaps you..." He grows wistful after he closes the small window lattice.
"What inflicted me was incurable, but this town gave me hope... their strange blood bought me time. I was most fortunate." He coughs again. His teeth are warping. Only one more lie. One more lie, so they would not mourn him should they need to slaughter what he becomes.
"Unharmed by the plague of beasts, I can even die human." The blood he coughs up feels like a punishment for the lie. There is no absolution waiting for him. No absolution for outsiders. As he hears the good Hunter move away hesitantly, he rests his head against his pillow, eyes dropping shut. Outsiders for the outsiders. He would not tell them. He could not. Let them think they could avenge him when they find the beast he becomes. Let them find some closure. There is no cure for him. And he made his peace with that. As his growing claws dig into the mattress, his thoughts grow dim. He speaks to the good Hunter once, twice more. His mouth feels Ashen, tastes like the coppery lie he told so many hours ago. He hopes they get out. His eyes fall shut with a shuddering breath.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Boaz the Horse & Javier Escuella, Javier Escuella/Bill Williamson, Boaz the Horse & Brown Jack the Horse
Characters: Boaz the Horse (Red Dead Redemption), Javier Escuella, Van der Linde Gang Members (Red Dead Redemption), Bill Williamson, Brown Jack the Horse (Red Dead Redemption), Taima the Horse (Red Dead Redemption)
Additional Tags: Character Study, POV Animal, Fix-It of Sorts, Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death Experiences, Sean MacGuire Lives, Starvation, Period-Typical Racism, Internalized Homophobia, (hi bill), Canon-Typical Violence
Series: Part 6 of Thoughts from the stables
Summary:
Boaz would rather starve than to be parted from Javier. That's his human, please and thanks.
