Forgive me. Your brother's blood was still caked on his sword when I knelt before Fëanáro and swore myself to him. Ata had left and still I knelt and closed my eyes to the murdered (my kin, your family) on the sands and on the boats. If I have an excuse it is that Ata turned back so quickly and I was unready to rule, was afraid that Fëanáro would seek vengeance for Nerwen's choice.
Please remember I was young and afraid and had not planned for any of this, least of all the leadership that had dropped upon me so quickly.
Forgive me. I spoke no truth to Elu Thingol, let him receive me as kin and let the sand cover the bodies. I encouraged him to show goodwill to those who murdered and instructed my brothers and sister not to talk. It was Angamaitë who was right, I think, but never I said that to him. If I have an excuse, it is that surrounded by enemies I thought we would all be crushed without Thingol's fellowship and I could not allow that possibility.
Please remember that in court I was taught diplomacy and not war.
Forgive me. I went hunting with Maitimo and Macalaurë, many trips, and broke bread and sang and slept under the stars. I called them friends and never we spoke of what happened on the white shores. If I have an excuse it is that all we held was by a fragile alliance I swear heard regret in Macalaurë's songs and saw it upon Maitimo's face.
Please remember I was preparing myself to be king when I never thought I would be and that that was a weight that I thought would crush me if I didn't allow myself friends.
Forgive me. I received Curufinwë and Tyelkormo as cousins and as friends when I knew Curufinwë would defend the slaughter to his last and Tyelkormo would never allow himself remorse. I welcomed them and theirs, once murderers all, and made my home theirs. They showed me friendship and I sought and found comfort where I knew I should not have.
I have no excuse.
Please remember how dark the world was as I felt it closing in on me, felt my Doom draw nearer each morning I woke. Please remember I was lonely and frightened again. Please remember the power of simple pleasant memories and familiarity.
Please remember and show compassion. I need your forgiveness.
kareenvorbarra replied to your post:The northerner has blown in. It’s now 59°F / 15°C....
we’re going to have highs in the 20s F all week here in lovely Minnesota…it’s snowing right now. no but actually, a 20 degree temperature drop between two days is rough, friend *wraps you in a blanket*
Oh no m'dear, if I could send you our missing twenty degrees I'd give it to y'all who would appreciate it more. *tucks several heated blankets around you*
I love snow, but not what it is after a few weeks. But here's to hoping your weather has lots of beautiful views and less freezing aggravation trying to preheat the vehicles to get anywhere in the morning. (that i do not miss)
anghraine replied to your post “a summary of this blog: edainic edain edaining in an edainly fashion ...”
and there are always the cesare/lu reblogs :D
OH SHIT I FORGOT, but there, fixed!!! HOW COULD I, that's an extremely important part of y blogging experience ;))))) THX MY MENTOR!
kaywinnet replied to your post “a summary of this blog: edainic edain edaining in an edainly fashion ...”
wow i love u
ahahehehehahdehahhshdjdbjdfjdbkgkdfsjkbh /)//////(\ i love u too uwu uwu wuuw
eluchil replied to your post “#my first otp *chinhands* tell me moar”
hahaha awwww first of all point a) omg me toooooo (gosh it pisses me off too this day) and point b)--i love that so much?? bc their story is hard to see until its THERE and then you can't unsee it, it's such a treasured dedicated part of them ♥♥♥ bbs
YES YES YES I LOVE THAT, since I started reading the books knowing tthat they loved each other, i was always looking for hints and just trying to imagine what was going on in their heads etc :') gosh i don't know, it was the first time i felt so invested, so i tend to say it was my first OTP! And to this day i love everything about them and their relationship, I love that Arwen makes a banner for him, omg I really need to reread the whole thing aaaaa!!
Luthien had resigned herself. Not to unhappiness, no - really, she felt fortunate - but this wasn't the life she'd dreamed of, either. Celegorm could be kind (just as he could be cruel), and Finrod was a blessing, but just the same. It was not like her home, where she was free to dance under the trees, secure in the knowledge that her mother's girdle kept them safe. Here, sometimes it seemed that nowhere was safe.
And then he arrived, short and dirty, battered and unassuming. A mortal man, no more. (Or perhaps, no less.)
The look on his face when he saw her was not unfamiliar. Luthien was not so modest as to be unaware of the effect she had on people. What was unfamiliar was the little jolt in her chest, like her heart had jumped towards him and beat a little faster for the effort. He came towards her as if in a trance, his eyes wide, only to stop a good five paces away. Luthien did not move, neither closing nor broadening the distance between them.
"Lady," he said, and if his voice was rough with disuse it was also low and pleasant. She wanted to step forward and knew she should step back, and did neither. He seemed torn between looking away and staring. Luthien could feel color rising in her face and was too aware of all the eyes that suddenly seemed to be watching them, specifically. "I am...Beren, son of Barahir."
"I know," she said, and saw embarrassment flash across his face just as she realized how that might sound. "That is...I was listening when you introduced yourself to Finrod."
"Oh," he said, and fell silent. For a moment, they hovered on the edge of something; Luthien feared to guess what.
"I have to go," she said, and turned away, exiting the hall in a hurry. Part of her hoped he would call after. He did not. Her heart fluttered like a nightingale.
I cannot do this dance, Luthien told herself, but caught herself looking over her shoulder and was saddened when she could not see Beren there.
kaywinnet replied to your post:paradife-loft replied to your post: hugintheraven...
maaaaybe arwen? i’m not sure she’d count as “well-behaved” in-universe, but fandom does have an unfortunate tendency to complain about how passive she is :/ also idk if you’ve read/seen FMA, but trisha elric comes to mind
I've been thinking about Arwen, but her most known role is in the movies where she does take up a sword, rather than in the books, where she embroiders the banner.
(sorry this is late I just noticed that you were doing this) Quiet Me, Beren and Luthien and Celegorm, marriage AU verse
(only sort of followed the prompt whoooooops)
"How dare you use her name against me?”
Celegorm’s voice carried at least a hallway away, loud and unmistakably furious. Beren almost turned around right there, but then he thought of Luthien and was suddenly worried that she’d gotten on the wrong side of her husband’s temper. She seemed - oddly fond of him, but Beren was still uncertain and could not be easy with the fact that Celegorm seemed to accept their - arrangement - so casually. He hurried down the hallway and turned the corner, trying not to think about the wisdom of getting between a Feanorian and Luthien if they were fighting.
"Do you think I care what ‘they’ say? When have you ever bowed to the whispers of others? I am not ashamed-“
"Perhaps you should be." Another voice, this one tight and also familiar. Beren almost stopped again. If getting between Celegorm and Luthien would be bad, getting between Celegorm and his brother would be worse. “What would father think-“
"I scarcely have to wonder with you here, do I?" Celegorm again, his voice sharp. "Have you ever had a thought that was not his first?"
Beren hesitated. Maybe he should stay out of this. Maybe…
"I heard shouting. My lords, is there some trouble?" Oh, no. Luthien had heard, or known, and now it was the three of them-
"The trouble is you, witch, and whatever sorcery with which you have ensorcelled my brother. Have you no shame, that you would forget why you are here, whose wife you are-“
Beren made up his mind and hastened down the hallway, turning the corner, and stepped into the room just as Celegorm took a step toward his slighter brother, who didn’t budge. “Stop this, Curvo,” he said. His brother looked up at him, jaw set, and then sneered.
"So this is what it takes to bring Turcafinwe to heel," he said. "If I put on a dress and batted my eyelashes, would you fall in line so easily?"
Celegorm looked like he was about to explode. Luthien’s hand snapped out and touched his shoulder, and he stopped the half movement forward. Beren could see his chest rising and falling rapidly.
"Go," Luthien said. Curufin’s eyes narrowed.
"You cannot order me."
"In my own rooms, on my husband’s behalf? I think I may."
Curufin’s eyes narrowed further, but after a moment he spun on his heel and stalked to the door. “Out of my way, Barahir’s get,” he snapped, and Beren resisted the urge to stay planted where he was, moving out of the way. He turned his head to watch Curufin stride down the hall, his back straight and shoulders thrown back, and then looked back into the room.
The moment Curufin was gone, Celegorm seemed to fold in on himself, shoulders slumping as he let out a loud exhale. “Oh, Eru,” he muttered, “That was…I shouldn’t have done that. I should - I’m going to pay for that later.” He sounded less angry than unhappy, now, and shaken. Luthien gave his shoulder a little shake, her eyes going to Beren and twitching her head. He stepped carefully into the room.
"Aren’t you the elder?" He asked, cautiously. Celegorm pressed his face into his hands.
"Nominally," he said. Luthien steered him toward a chair and he sank into it. "But I follow his lead. That’s just the way it is. But he-" Celegorm cut off again, and then looked up. "Wait - when did you get here?" He said, to Beren. Beren suddenly wondered if he should have stayed in the hallway.
"I heard arguing and followed the sound," Beren said, honestly. Celegorm looked at him with furrowed brow. Luthien patted his shoulder, and Beren tried not to feel a little prick of jealousy.
"Oh," he said. "Right. You and half of Nargothrond, no doubt. Ah, balls." Celegorm bent over, face in his hands again. "I have to go after him. Apologize."
"For what?" Luthien asked, her voice a little crisp. "It sounded to me like he was provoking you."
"It’s just-" Celegorm sighed again, and it was hard to be intimidated when he looked so…forlorn. Beren shifted, unsure of what he was supposed to do.
Luthien pulled her hand away. “You stay there,” she said. “Beren, sit down and stop hovering. I’m going to pour us all just a bit of wine and we’ll let Curufinwe alone for a bit.”
Celegorm smiled, more than a little crooked. “The wine bit sounds good, at any rate.” He gave Beren a bit of an odd look. “You’re staying?”
Beren swallowed, and glanced at Luthien, who just raised her eyebrows unhelpfully. He turned around to look for a chair.
"Why not," he said, more firmly than he really felt, and thought there was a glimmer of pride in Luthien’s eyes.
