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john carter + drug addiction

"when i got stabbed last year at work, a friend of mine got killed, and i, um---ended up addicted to pain killers, and it caught up to me. and i started to, um, shoot morphine---and demerol and fentanyl and whatever else i could get my hands on. and i don't know what would have happened if i hadn't gotten busted, but i did, and i went to rehab. but i wasn't like any of those people. i mean, i got into this because of an injury, because of circumstance---because of a near-death experience! and they---anyway, it wasn't me. i mean, it was me, but it wasn't---! anyway, i did the program. and i pretended that i bought into it. i did everything that i was supposed to do---except believe that i had anything to do with what had happened. and then, i almost relapsed. well, i guess---i guess i did relapse... but the fact---the truth is: there's not a day that goes by that i don't think about getting high. it's the first thing that i think about when i wake up in the morning, and it's the last thing that i think about when i go to bed at night. and i think about it all day. i'm a drug addict."