It was called 'I wish' but then I decided it didn't really suit it anymore so it doesn't have a title aha sorry
There he went again, off with that little slut Abigail. What did he even see in her? She’d probably slept with half the guys at our high school and she wasn’t even that pretty, everyone just knew she was easy. But I knew Zayn, that wasn’t why he was with he, he genuinely thought she was a nice girl who had gained a bad reputation through rumours and he felt bad for that little slut. And she was just playing him. And I had to sit here and watch it all from the sidelines. What was I doing with my life?
Abigail and I had been best friends in elementary school but come the first day of grade 9 she ditched me without a second thought to get in with the popular crowd. K sweet. So I made a new group of friends as did she, difference was her group of friends talked about their close encounters of pregnancy while me and my friends talked about our close encounters of almost losing a follower on tumblr.
Anyway, Zayn. Sweet precious, sexy, perfect, Zayn. I’ve been in love with him for 2 years now, since second semester of grade 9 and now I was entering my second semester of grade 11 and I’ve yet to have made a move past staring at him from across the classroom. I doubt he even knew I existed.
I first saw him in my math class in grade 9 and I was instantly hooked, he wasn’t in my class though, he was in the year above us, therefore in the classroom across from me. The next year he peer tutored my grade 10 drama class and I just about fainted, needless to say that was my favourite class of my high school career so far. There was just something about him that I couldn’t put my finger on, he was so smart, but funny, and cute, but sexy. He also gave off that bad boy persona, but I could see through it, even though I had never had a legitimate conversation with him outside of my drama homework I could tell he was actually a sweetheart.
Back to the present...I was walking home and Zayn and Abigail were about 10 feet in front of me, this was unusual seeing as Abigail usually refused to walk more than 2 feet in case her shoes or jeans or hair or whatever got ruined. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but they were practically asking for it walking right in front of me like that.
“I-I can’t do this Abigail, I can’t put up with your shit anymore, I’ve had enough, I’m not your toy.” Zayn said in a quiet voice that cracked a few times making my heart melt.
“Babykins you know it’s not like that! I mean, it was Brad, captain of the football , how could I say no? We didn’t even go all the way Zaynie, I swear! You know I only love you Zaynie, you know that right?” Abigail was talking in this sickly sweet, high pitched voice and it was making me want to vomit.
“I-I can’t! Abigail I’m sorry but I cannot be with someone who doesn’t understand that kissing another, never mind having a steamy make out session with another guy, is wrong! I would never do that to you, and I feel like the only thing you’re interested in is sex, so when I didn’t give it to you last weekend you went looking for it with someone else.”
This was breaking my heart, you do not cheat on Zayn Malik, he is an angel, and it was killing me seeing him this upset, I wish I could just hold him forever until he felt better, but if I tried he would probably just get freaked out seeing as he hardly knows me. Ugh.
Abigail stopped walking and turned to Zayn, I however didn’t stop in time and bumped right into him. Why am I so awkward? Is it that hard to just walk around someone?
Abigail looked at me and gave a cold laugh. “OH my God! Perfect! You are Emma should get together, because you know neither of you have made it past a kiss if Emma even has haha and then you can just live a perfect little abstinent life together! Sweet!”
I was in shock, what was happening, why did life hate me? Oh my God this was humiliating, Zayn was looking back and forth between me and Abigail with a confused look on his face. Shit.
“The fuck Abigail? You’re just going to drop like I’m nothing? Like this past month meant nothing to you?” Zayn asked in a louder tone.
I couldn’t help but think how similar he sounded to the way I did when she dropped me on the first day of high school, except I hadn’t been after a month, I had been after 8 years.
I grabbed Zayn’s arm without thinking and turned him to me. He had fucking tears in his eyes, oh my God I was going to crack.
“Just forget about her Zayn, she tends to do that, acts like she loves you, or that she’ll be your best friend forever, or whatever and then next thing you know she’s dropped you. Like you’re noting, like you never meant anything to her, even though you were there for her for 8 fucking years whenever she needed you. The second she finds someone better or cooler or whatever she doesn’t think twice she just moves on.”
I had tears running down my cheeks by the end of my speech and I was so embarrassed. I had never told her how I felt and not only that, but Zayn just had to witness one of my breakdowns. I could feel my cheeks burning bright red.
Abigail just laughed, and then turned to Zayn. “I’d say she’s about as screwed up as you, wouldn’t you? You two would make the perfect couple, so yes, I’d say we’re done, ciao Zayn.” She gave a little finger wave and turned around walking back to the school, probably to go watch the football practice so she could finally hook up with Brad.
I realized I was still holding Zayn’s arms and quickly let go, wiping my cheeks with the palm of my hand.
All of my previous confidence seemed to have left me and I looked down to the ground. “S-sorry.” I said and tried to walk past him.
He grabbed my arm this time and turned me around though.
“What..what was that back there Emma? I didn’t know that you knew Abigail.” He asked me.
Not going to lie I was just surprised he knew my name. I let out a little laugh and then realized that it probably seemed totally inappropriate to him so stopped.
“Me and Abigail were best friends growing up, we met in grade 1 and were inseparable. On the first day of grade 9 she ditched me for a new group of friends, just like that with no warning.” I sighed, he had really nice legs. “It’s fine though, I’m over it, just, hearing you go through that brought back a lot of unwanted memories.” I tried to laugh but it got stuck in my throat. “Sorry.” I apologized for being such a mess.
He shook his head and with his thumb wiped my cheeks. I instantly froze, Zayn Malik was touching me. I tried to act casual, as though my heart hadn’t just sped up 20 times but I could feel my cheeks heating up under his touch. He bit his lip, my God was he trying to kill me and looked at me. I tried to keep eye contact but it was kind of scary, not gonna lie.
“Come here love.” He pulled me towards him and hugged me. At first I was tense but then I relaxed into him. He smelled amazing, like a very faint cologne, probably because he’s been wearing it all day. I rested my head on his chest but then I pulled back, realizing that this was all wrong.
“Wait, you should not be comforting me, I should be comforting you, that bitch just broke your heart and you are hugging me...what is wrong with me? I’m so selfish! I’m sorry.” I apologized for what must have been the billionth time.
He laughed and it gave me goose bumps. “No worries love, and honestly? I think I knew the whole time that she didn’t love me, I just had a feeling, but I guess I didn’t really want to believe it you know? That wasn’t the first time she’s cheated on me but that was the last straw.” He said.
I laughed and he scrunched up his face.
“I just said last straw didn’t I? Oh God what’s happening to me?” He asked.
That resulted in be bursting out in laughter, he was so cute!
“Should we maybe start walking back to our houses?” I asked him.
He looked kind of confused for a moment and I immediately worried that I had overstepped my boundaries and that this conversation was a onetime thing and not a bonding moment like I had seen it.
“I was actually walking to her place, I live in the other direction, right by the school.” He said looking down, almost as if he was disappointed.
No he wasn’t disappointed stop getting your hopes up Emma, he was probably just being polite and trying to excuse himself.
“Do you want to come back to my place then? I mean since you’re already heading this way?” Where did that come from? Why did I say that? Why was I setting myself up for devastation when he inevitably said no. Oh shit did he just answer? Crap Emma, come on.
“Ahaha Emma? You still here?” He asked with a smirk on his beautiful face.
“Oh! Aha yeah sorry! Sorry umm what did you say?” I asked looking down.
He laughed and linked his arm with mine, I tried not to tense up too much, he’d get the complete wrong impression.
“I would love to, lead the way love!” He said happily.
He had to stop calling me love before I fainted or started making strange noises of some sort.
We walked arm in arm back to my house at first it was awkward, I was babbling on about absolutely nothing, the weather, cats, my uncle...but then I calmed down a bit and we settled into a calmer conversation about more normal topics.
When we got back to my house I led him in through the garage because my parents didn’t trust me with a key. When I told him that he laughed and said that he’d trust me with more than a key. I hit his arm but I could feel my cheeks blushing.
“Do you want a drink?” I asked as I stepped in the kitchen after leaving him in the living room.
“Just water’s fine thanks.” He replied.
I brought him his water and sipped at my own as I took a seat across the room from him. Here was an awkward silence as we both sipped at our waters looking down.
“Come sit here.” He patted the couch beside him.
I sighed and put my water down walking over to him and sitting so I was facing him with my legs crossed and my back against the arm rest. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me making my heart skip a casual beat.
“So how come you never talk to me at school then Emma? You seem to not despise me, though I may be wrong,” he winked at me, “so what are ya too cool for me?” He laughed so I knew he was joking but I felt like I should answer anyway, even though I would probably regret it.
“Because you are way too good for me. I didn’t think you even knew who I was to be honest.” I took a sudden interest in my hands. Why was I even telling him this? He was just joking around and here I was pouring my heart out like a loser.
I felt his hand on my chin and then he tilted my head up so I was looking into his gorgeous brown eyes.
“Too good for you? Emma you have got to be kidding me. You are probably one of the coolest girls in the school and that’s saying something considering you’re not even graduating this year, and I always thought you just didn’t want to give anyone else the time of day” he laughed “guess not. So you really thought I was too good for you? And here I was thinking it was the other way around.” His hand finger was subconsciously stroking my cheek as he spoke and I could feel my breath shallowing.
I looked down and started playing with his other hand that wasn’t on my cheek. Was this actually happening? Was I having a moment with Zayn Malik?
I looked up and saw him gazing at my face. I blushed and he chuckled.
“What is there something on my face?” I asked reaching up to feel for anything.
He shook his head and smirked at me. “No, you’re perfect the way you are Emma.”
With that he leaned in, painfully slow and right before his lips touched mine he looked into my eyes and my breath stopped. He chuckled to himself but then moved in and softly kissed me.
My hands found their way to his shoulders and I held on to him, his hands found their way to the back of my neck and held my head up.
I sighed and pulled away. I bit my lip and smiled up at him.
He laughed and pulled me in towards him. I rested my head on his shoulder and nuzzled into his side. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head, pulling me in closer.
“Does this mean you’ll acknowledge me now?” He asked me, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
I laughed and pecked him on the lips. “Would you like me to?” I asked him, only half joking.
He looked at me with a kind of exasperated look on his face.
“Yes I would like you to, in fact I would greatly appreciate it if you not only acknowledged me but also came flying at me and tackle hugged me before kissing me, even if the whole school was watching.”
A huge grin spread across my face, he was so cute. “Except Mrs. Redmond, that’d just be creepy”
He laughed, which made my insides melt.
“I could get used to this.” He said contently. I was thinking the exact same thing.
I nuzzled my face into his neck “mmhhmm.”
He giggled, which was the cutest thing ever and turned to me before kissing me on the forehead. I bit my lip and smiled trying to contain myself, but then he laughed again and leant down and kissed me on the lips. I kissed him back but I couldn’t help but smile in to the kiss, this was perfect.
I pulled away from him and turned on the tv then curled up beside him and pretended to watch the movie while I felt him gazing at me.
