#keeperofthecooks

[ghostling]

☆

There’s a humming in the restless summer airMy demons are begging me to open up my mouthLove, I have wounds only you can mendI know I took the path that you would never want for meEver since the rain I’ve been waking on my own

Send me a ☆ and I will put my playlist on shuffle, write down the first line of five songs and give it to you as a poem.

[tinwrites-blog]

River and Jason for the ship meme. *u*

River & Jason

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPsHow long will they last? - I don’t think they’ll stay together forever, unless they have like a kid together or something - but they’d definitely last a long time.How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It took them ages, because they’re both so stubborn and argumentative. How was their first kiss? - Probably for their job, but it would’ve been short and sweet. And they’d look away afterwards, trying really hard not to touch their lips or bit their lips or kiss each other again. And they’d just be really awkward afterwards.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Jason, he’s kinda traditional in that he thinks the man should always ask.Who is the best man/men? - I think they’d have one of the Disney princes’ to be their best man, but one that knows them really well.Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Same as above, except with one of the Princesses. And River’s best friend and her sister too.Who did the most planning? - River. She wanted it perfect and didn’t want Jason to ruin it.Who stressed the most? - Probably Jason. How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7/8 (it’d be like a mini princess wedding.) | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - River’s friend who started the rumours and hate between Jason & River.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Jason, but he kinda likes it and finds it really hot and sexy when River is on top, lbr. Who is the one to instigate things? - Jason, but again - he loves it when River starts it all off.How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7/8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right nowHow kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s headHow long do they normally last? - Quite a bit of time, but not so long that there isn’t time or room for round 2.Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - As best as possible, definitely. How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | ¾ | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7/8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - One. River would probably freak out with just having Jason’s child once, let alone any others.How many children will they adopt? - Probably none, ever.Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - River. Who is the stricter parent? - River. Jason can’t be mean to kids.Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Jason.Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - River, ‘cause she’s had to remember for her sister so many times it’s like habit.Who is the more loved parent? - Both of them, although Jason maybe a little bit more cause he struggles to say no to them.Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - They’d go together.Who cried the most at graduation? - River. Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Jason, and he’d let River tell them off.

Cooking: 

Who does the most cooking? - River. Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I’m gonna go with Jason cause he’s kinda picky. Who does the grocery shopping? - River, otherwise they argue.How often do they bake desserts? - Infrequently. It depends what mood they’re in and if River’s sister forces them into it.Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - They eat both and like both equally. Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Jason, because it’d be a surprise he attempted cooking at all and he’s a sweetie sometimes.Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Jason.Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Jason. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - I had this idea that when Jason found out she was pregnant, he would basically turn into her own personal house mum and do all the chores and stuff so she wouldn’t have to stress out. And he’d kinda grow into enjoying doing chores, because it made him less stressed. So probably Jason.Who is really against chores? - River Who cleans up after the pets? - Jason :)Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - JasonWho stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Jason, omgsh.Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Jason and he probably buys a dollar’s load of sweets and share some with River.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - River, but only because Jason will be like ‘are you done yet?’ and she’ll stay in there to annoy him, even if she goes wrinkly. Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both of them.How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Probably for the normal holidays and sometimes for other things, but they don’t go all out. Except Christmas. Christmas is huge!What are their goals for the relationship? - To not kill each other, mainly. But to keep each other safe and like they have someone to rely on.Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Jason.Who plays the most pranks? - I kinda feel like this’d be River.

[tinwrites-blog]

keeperofthecooks replied to your post:keeperofthecooks ~not martina

ilu <3

ilu too bby! <3 xx

[tinwrites-blog]

#fight me tin // I'll fight you! Put 'em up! ;)

[tinwrites-blog]

☎ (Daniel and Briar)

Here.

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[tinwrites-blog]

@keeperofthecooks said: "god i love the idea of them secretly touching each other and like sneaking off to go fooling around and stuff omG" // me too. goSH and the worst part is they'd just say that it was practice or just to play with the act of dating, but really they do it because they can and they find it fucking hot. and it makes them feel badass goSH.

[tinwrites-blog]

#jfc tIN // I would apologise, but I'd be lying. Because I regret nothing and I'm not sorry ;) x